Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Donnie
🌶️ Spicy
Jailbird
Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Whatcha do when they come for you?
Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML
Oops
Anchorage, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while celebrating my birthday, my friends hired a few escorts to make the party more interesting. This was a really bad way to learn that my sister is a prostitute. FML
Van
🌶️ Spicy
Work name
Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML
Anonymous
Iowa Park, United States
Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML
meegs
Canada
Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML
Username
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend ran off with my sister. FML
Anonymous
Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML
Top comments
dcg_957 0
Try explaining that story over thanksgiving dinner
ninjuh_wingman 29
Your parents must be so proud.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (223)
Joecam 0
her number ?
Ruffclue 9
hahah that was the first thing that came in my mind lol.
dcg_957 0
Try explaining that story over thanksgiving dinner
Troll_spray 6
Whoooore! xD
ThisIsMyReign 4
Haha, specially when occupation is brought up.
Petunia888 13
Eh, she could just say she was in sales.
enonymous 9
Don't worry sude She's like All State. She gives good driver and family discounts... You're in good hands with All State
gojira666 7
How much was she?
43trauts 14
51- Family discounts?
waterrat972 3
One hell of a story! So the other day....
thebottomdog 0
Lol dude why would you want to screw your own sistet?
Akai_fml 4
Did she give you a friends & family discount?
kerrwoof 13
You obviously don't get it. He had to bail his sister out of jail who happens to be a Prostitute. I'm guessing OP didn't know his sister was a prostitute until he got that phone call to come and get her out. Suuuuper shitty! I could only imagine how my brothers would feel if I was a prostitute..
markrs 0
180- what word am I looking for...um, DUHH. They're being sarcastic. Grow a brain in that weed farm on your head
indianguyinuk 12
op is her sister not brother so anyone using he should use she......see the fml first (carefully)
jcap113 4
.....O.o
blushy 14
how can you let your sister prostitute? shame on you op
babybebop2 4
Very misleading FMLs lately. The first sentence was bad, by the time i got to the second one i was like urg gross then it was ok...
TheDrudgeChild 4
That's kind of the fun of it. The shock comes at the end. Do you like your jokes to start with the punch line?
boydeee01 7
Today, I picked up my sister. FML Is that what you wanted?
vturbz91 0
You look like a Prostitute
thisisafunnyname 12
12, it's like joke jeopardy. To get to the other side. Why did the chicken cross the road?
ryanisexy 5
Actually there was only 2 sentences
ImInYourFACEbook 8
To get to the other side! ...That's why the chicken crossed..the road. Yeah putting the punch line in the beginning doesn't work.
Jonkbaby 23
why are you people pickin on her? I thought this was a funny comment
McLovinBearJew 0
*there were To 97
jonn090 13
Girl you must be smoking something mad hard to ask something stupid like that
goaliemkl123 8
HATERS GON' HATE!
bossboi 5
HAHAHAH
mynamebackwardss 0
161, I thought that said "HANNAH" and I was like AGH WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING MY NAME
wals2537 1
No, you're just stupid as ****.
kasumirock 13
Dumb chicks like you are the reason people think most girls are dumb. Go be a teen mom and become another statistic. Too harsh?
curryisforGs 2
There were three sentences, "FML." Counts as a sentence.
emily_choxly 0
Actually. It doesn't. Because it doesn't end in a period. So no. FML does not count as a sentence
ninjuh_wingman 29
Your parents must be so proud.
CaptainPickles72 18
Yes, our little Caitlin is a prostitute. We're so proud of her, she is one of the best! Even all the other hookers say she can suck a handle-bar off a mustache. Kid's a champ!
DrMime 10
I didn't read the last part about jail, and I was really worried. "Atleast the money is staying in the family?"
Ne_Oublie 3
I'm thinkin family discounts!!
DrMime 10
Ew that's so gross lol! How about a deal where if you bring a coke can you can get a buy one get one half off deal. Although I wouldn't want anything down there to be 'half off'.
MaddiRae 9
68- Thats disgusting, even if you were joking.
Z03y 7
Incest, something the whole family can enjoy ;)))
zombiegold 23
Incest, or wincest?
bizarre_ftw 22
When will the major fail of wincest finally curl up and die?
nabila21 0
Wincest is not a fail ask Alfred and his girlfriend .
kristat 14
When will people stop saying "major fail"?
tburke1 7
86-I thought it was funny. Dumb bitch.
Blacksxe 1
Wow... I really don't know what to say. That horrible that it's your sister. I'm sorry OP.
66mustangrocks 4
I'm surprised I haven't had to pick up my sister from jail for that lol
CaptainPickles72 18
High class hooker, or shall I say 'escorts' usually don't get arrested much. Sadly, your sister isn't one! She is probably just too embarrassed to call you.
EvilTwerp 12
Maybe she could give you some tips on how to pick up guys, that is if you needed help.
OhHushDear 11
She doesn't exactly "pick up" guys. She just offers them sex and makes them pay for it. It's not really a technique...
perdix 31
I hope she made it worth your while ;) I've never thought of combing the jails for fresh meat, but I guess it might be different from what I'm finding at truck stops and laundromats. Thanks for the "pro" tip :)
Petunia888 13
That's where all the guaranteed low prices are. Sometimes it's worthwhile to be a bargain shopper. :-D
TheDrifter 24
The truck stops are good, but walmart at 3am is the best spot. Just look for the one with dentures buying breate right strips and you're in for a ride.
cosmosis 12
Do you reckon OP gets the family discout for her sisters "services"?
behemoth198 0
Like goin to the family, immediate family is free!
tygerarmy 35
Hopefully she has coworkers and one of them gave you a discount.
thecrazyhotchick 0
Last I checked....it said OP was female...nothing wrong with it but she might not like that kind of "service"
perdix 31
****** don't care if their Johns are actually Joanns, it's just work for them.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Now that you have your sister with you, help her try to get her life on track. It will be hard, but it will work on the long run. Good luck mate...
stevenmer 2
Please tell me your not her "pimp"
Rddvl 11
Umm op's a girl..
evilscorpi 29
i would not be surpised if there is a female pimp out there
R00ST3R 12
A female pimp is a Madame.
DontClickOnMe 28
I thought it was pimpette. Hmm, I guess not.
zephyrum 0
U think it's funny using a picture of a burnt victim as ur dp?
DontClickOnMe 28
He's not burnt... And I never said anything about it being funny. His name is Brian Peppers, by the way.
KiddNYC1O 22
He doesn't look burnt. He seems to be exposed to Mars atmosphere like the movie Total Recall.
kalbrek009 20
Yes, there are....they're called a "Madame"
The_Hitdude 12
#105 This is the first time I have seen Brian Peppers referenced on any site. Sir, I salute you... P.S. Briiiiaaaaannn Peppppeeerrrrrssss!!!
DontClickOnMe 28
156- Brian Peppers is great! P.S.: It's ma'am, not sir ;P
Jkolbly 11
That's the only logical reason to put ydi, but I doubt it.