Maybe someone in your family should take cooking classes? Doesn't hurt to try. Better luck next time OP.

Carefully following the recipe in a cookbook should be enough to prevent charred food. Good lord.

OP's friend: THE FIRE ALARM IS GOING OFF!
OP: Oh, dinners done!

Note to OP's family- that shrieking device on the wall is NOT a timer.

I think the food is ready before that particular buzzer goes off

Well seeing how the food is probably burnt... Did you order Chinese?

That's an insult to ma.

Or pizza, both are good alternatives.

Dinner must be delicious.

My mom's cooking is even worse, some of her ingredients weren't even street legal! Ever wonder how a mime gets his pale complexion or supernatural abilities?

#17 - Edward Cullen is a mime?

I was thinking face paint and practice? Considering the fact that mimes aren't super humans and are just good entertainers and illusionists.

You should go a little lighter on the fire mam

If the fire alarm went off because of water burning, then someone needs to stay out of the kitchen.

(Yes, I do realize that water can't be burnt, or at least to my knowledge)

That could prove pretty useful.

Also, the wording of this FML was pretty bad.. Just saying.

I'm sure your neighbors are delighted with the noise and the stench.

Lot of bricks coming through your windows? YDI.

I love a good bridge between comments, kinda like the bridge your neighbors built across their yard in order to get close enough to accurately heave bricks through your windows in their act of disapproval.

"I got to be reminded" is really weird wording...but if you were helping her couldn't you have prevented it just as well as she could've?

that's how we know when my mom is done cooking! we call her smokey lol