By Anonymous - 08/01/2016 18:23
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It does sound like ops brother deserves where he is, but I am actually glad to see a brother willing to help his sibling. It kind of restores my faith in humanity, but I guess this is a yin/yang situation. Sorry your brother threw away your help op. hope you didn't lose too much from the bail. Maybe a follow up?
If your family member does something terrible, you aren't a good person for helping your family. The person has a RESTRAINING ORDER against his brother, and he keeps going back so obviously he's dangerous. If the roles were reversed, would you want someone bailing the violator out for them to come back after your family member? If a family member fucks up like this, you're not doing ANYONE favors by trying to put family over everything.
@52 It may not matter why for the police, but there have been many unfair restraining orders placed before. Even my uncle's ex got a restraining order by making up that he was crazy and she feared for her life. They were married for a long time, and already going through a divorce when this happened and she was trying to screw him out of everything he had, including his children. Being a family member who has known him my whole life, I am 100% sure my uncle wouldn't ever do anything to have hurt her, and even she didn't say that he had, just that she thought he was going to. Anyways, sometimes the dumbest little thing like someone saying they're scared can get a restraining order. So yeah, it may have mattered why to OP.
There are a lot of people who use them for bad, but also many who really need them. My mother was one. It's hard not knowing the reasoning but considering how hard op's brother is trying to get to his ex, even lying to his brother to take him there..I gotta lean toward there's a reason for it.
It's more than "convincing" someone when it comes to this matter. He clearly has no respect for boundaries, and who knows what other problems. If he has a damn restraining order against him, that in which he VIOLATED, he doesn't deserve to be bailed out and lightly told to "not do it again". He deserves jail. I hope his ex is doing okay. OP, I don't know your relationship with him, and I know you do what you have to do for family, but jail is better for him until he can fucking learn how to treat people.
You shouldn't have bailed him out at all. Just leave him in there so his ex can be safe.
Sounds like you aren't too close to him, so I'm surprised you bailed him out in the first place.