NSFW: Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister,...

Anonymous 1 February 2012, 15:01 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

223 comments

Collection

Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Same thing different taste

Donnie 18 July 2019, 06:00 🌶️ Spicy

Jailbird

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

13 comments

Anonymous 22 January 2011, 20:20 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Whatcha do when they come for you?

Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

83 comments

Oops 12 January 2018, 06:00 Anchorage, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, while celebrating my birthday, my friends hired a few escorts to make the party more interesting. This was a really bad way to learn that my sister is a prostitute. FML

25 comments

Van 9 November 2019, 05:00 🌶️ Spicy

Work name

Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML

11 comments

Anonymous 9 March 2010, 07:47 United States

Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML

113 comments

Anonymous 6 April 2016, 14:31 Iowa Park, United States

Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML

46 comments

meegs 17 October 2010, 00:31 Canada

Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML

131 comments

Username 20 June 2011, 15:57 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

287 comments

Anonymous 27 June 2019, 01:15 United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend ran off with my sister. FML

14 comments

Anonymous 8 January 2016, 18:23

Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML

69 comments

dcg_957 0

1 February 2012, 18:48

Try explaining that story over thanksgiving dinner

ninjuh_wingman 29

1 February 2012, 18:52

Your parents must be so proud.

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Comments (223)

CuteDumBlonde64 11

1 February 2012, 19:23

well then...this is awkwatd.

bri_maselli 0

1 February 2012, 19:24

Thiis iis my sister, number one prostitute in all kazakhstan..

TrashCan69 2

1 February 2012, 20:47

Funnier than the post

FatSack 0

1 February 2012, 22:39

Number four prostitute, actually.

brock329 3

1 February 2012, 23:39

******* amazing

bri_maselli 0

2 February 2012, 02:19

My apologizes, FatSack. Number 4 prostitute.

KiddNYC1O 22

2 February 2012, 03:30

Fatsack lol.

FatSack 0

2 February 2012, 03:38

lisey517 2

1 February 2012, 19:28

A lot of prostitutes nowadays are drug addicts trying to get a fix. If she is a drug addict you should try to get her help before she gets raped and killed.

Petunia888 13

1 February 2012, 19:32

Now you can cross that off of your bucket list. ;-)

uprising_fml 0

1 February 2012, 19:36

yes because that is everyone's dream in life... to pick up their brother or sister from jail via prostitution .

Petunia888 13

1 February 2012, 21:40

I was thinking more along the lines of "picking up a prostitute". And I'm pretty sure I said "cross that off of your bucket list" not "fulfilled your dream". Geez, some people are just wayyy too eager to pounce on a comment.