Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML
Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend likes to show his female co-workers his dick, by emailing them pictures of it. I found out when he included my email address in with theirs. FML
Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML
Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
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Top comments
laideehawk 6
Next time you go down on him, tell him you hope you're doing it right as the guy in the video had a much larger penis.
ciarafox9 9
How subtle.. :D
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Comments (170)
KrazyNstinct 4
Haha first?
DropTheDaggerxx 31
He only did this so that maybe next time, you won't give him a panic attack.
morganrules123 10
Well he will have a nice day if he gets head
jonan1212 5
Haha Troll?
Keyman1212 14
Haha Fail? But OP's boyfriend is doing it right.
enonymous 9
It should have said thank you for coming.
ciarafox9 9
How subtle.. :D
EvilPotato 15
*hint hint*
KCTruth4 0
Well....... Did u read it?
LiveLaughFML 10
FWD the email to your friends and start chain mail ;)
EnEl_Infierno 15
Well I wouldn't blame him Op, you gotta learn some how, poor guy just posted you ripped out a pube and made him cry & had to lie to you telling you how good it was.
enonymous 9
I prefer my "thank you for coming"
schpanki 11
There really are websites for everything...
yoursucklives 36
just visit the site. what could happen!? you could make yout boyfriend happier. get over yourself
Justforlolz 14
OP should get advice from the lady that deep-throated her harmonica.
abbyelizabeth 9
At least now you know. Can only get better from here! :D
CocoRosie317 1
Oh so romantic*
anndiwhite 0
Ouch:(
fmlsaves 0
"none of your friends complained" *****-ish but a win nonetheless :)
lilmissdangerous 9
*cough cough* take a hint? Haha
stephan18 23
I know right? xD it must be the same guy who started bleeding after his first ******** haha
cali_dude 5
Go ahead. Follow the code of head as if it's you're bible. You'll be an amazing girlfriend.
nigrice 0
Hint hint
princessAj1 6
Someone needs practice
KrazyNstinct 4
You can practice on me...
Wheredidgrungego 12
TAKE THE HINT.
ifailplzinsultme 0
Next time you should bite. Then ask if you're doing it wrong.
mandoalba 5
and ask how dry does he want it lol
zachherbert 10
Or start breathing on it, and after a while yell "I just don't get this ******* thing!"
Lennes 12
Actually the guide says not to bite it.
sexxme 9
Maybe he was too nervous to say it to her face** Sorry /:
DFlit1 0
Lol u totally deserve it because if ur that bad that ur bf had to get u professional help u must b pretty bad lol
GardeningHoes 0
Translation: Haha you totally deserve it if you're so bad you're boyfriend had to get you "professional" help, you must be pretty bad haha.
GabbyCharityM 0
your* boyfriend. Nice try.
therob10 1
you're* dumb gabby
ragzy 7
Well done 71. Read it again and see if you still stand by your (yep, correct) daft comment.
Tummylove 0
"You're" is a contraction of "you are" "Your" shows possession
Yodaevil 4
71 was using the you're in his post as sarcasm, not to correct her.