Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML
Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend likes to show his female co-workers his dick, by emailing them pictures of it. I found out when he included my email address in with theirs. FML
Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML
Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
laideehawk 6
Next time you go down on him, tell him you hope you're doing it right as the guy in the video had a much larger penis.
ciarafox9 9
How subtle.. :D
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (170)
LuhDemDinosaurz 6
At least the lessons were free.
alexiskimbrell 0
You deserve it for either dating a douche bag, or sucking at performance.
sexxme 9
You can't always help who you fall in love with. And I mean maybe he wasn't trying to be a douchebag. If your boyfriend absolutely sucked in bed, wouldn't you want him to improve. Maybe he was too nervous to say it to her up to her face. I'm not saying what he did was okay, but I can see where he's coming from. Another thing, we don't automaticly preform like a pornstar. So it's not op's fault for not preforming that well.
sciencekidster1 8
Reply: Link to "how to get a life"
pegasus187 9
Take the hint
thecovert 7
Learn something everyday!! Now get to work, time is a-wasting.
MD_DILF 4
Read it and learn! Then give all his friends a ******** to demonstrate your improvement!
sierralovex 0
I wanna hit "your life sucks" but right now that just feels like a bad pun ;)
COCKYmanUSC 3
You read my mind (:
thewife5 19
So? There is always room for improvement.. It's nice he feels he can even encourage you. I mean if you do it, you want to do it well. However, if he sent that because you don't give him head.. Dump him for not respecting your boundaries;)
rasta_pasta 4
#33 It's reading stuff like this that makes me wonder if all women are ****** in the gourd. In what way is that a reasonable or even amusing response?
Egnar 19
The true FML here is that your boyfriend has no spine and is unable to verbally communicate his sexual desires/needs to you in the bedroom or afterwards. It's not a bad thing for someone to give you pointers to what they like, but this just shows he's without a backbone.
leadman1989 16
What if the material he sent did a better job of explaining/demonstrating than he could? He's only spineless if he's absolutely unwilling and even then he could want to but have really bad anxiety.
CocoRosie317 1
Yes. more an more people these days hide behind Internet communication when it comes to things like uncomfortable topics, because they don't want the reaction from the other person. If you're in a relationship you should give the person the time of day and talk to them and show them what you like. He shouldn't just send a "how to clip with cliff notes" he got from his favorite **** site. Where's the intimacy?