Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML
Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend likes to show his female co-workers his dick, by emailing them pictures of it. I found out when he included my email address in with theirs. FML
Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML
Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
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Top comments
laideehawk 6
Next time you go down on him, tell him you hope you're doing it right as the guy in the video had a much larger penis.
ciarafox9 9
How subtle.. :D
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Comments (170)
Doncdownes 0
Kinda messed up but guess you got done learning to do
hiLife808 0
OPs boyfriend could have been nicer about the way he hinted to her. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against perfecting how to give BJ but he could have said "I love when you do this" to op while she was doing it so she would know what feels good to her man you know?
Nublet 10
This is exactly what MOST people do. The ones who actually communicate to each other and respect one another, and don't give instruction books to their partners instead of being the instruction book.
TheOmen46 1
Why not send him and email showing him how to stimulate the g-spot and to properly finger you as rebuttal?
miz66independent 1
Is he having panic attacks during ******** sessions?
Nublet 10
No, that's my boyfriend.
EnEl_Infierno 15
Ahahahaha ^^^
Fishingman11 0
Haha. This is funny!
langoustine_fml 10
Should have googled that yourself
surfnturf 1
lol funny how criticism, even when constructive, is not well received. I would hate to be the man in your life.
nite66 21
Need to send that to my ex lol
fomoco1 0
he should just be happy getting a bj especially if she gives him 1every week
Retired_Panda 7
did u check your resources?? this could be a completely incorrect site inaccurately describing the art of proper head o.O hahaha jk that's all bad. awkward as all hell