Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML
Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend likes to show his female co-workers his dick, by emailing them pictures of it. I found out when he included my email address in with theirs. FML
Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML
Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
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Top comments
laideehawk 6
Next time you go down on him, tell him you hope you're doing it right as the guy in the video had a much larger penis.
ciarafox9 9
How subtle.. :D
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Comments (170)
manbearpig7173 0
Reply with a link regarding "how to eat pussy" or "how to give a woman a real ******". If that isn't a wake up call, I don't know what is.
champjb 0
its this constructional criticism that keeos relationships alive
TaeYang1 3
You show send him an email saying "how to dodge a kick in the balls" that will set him straight.
roobin302 0
your bf probably gives head...
anamariba 0
Loool.
COCKYmanUSC 3
Reply with a link to "How to Get Over a Breakup" :D
KasaraEm13 12
Hm, gee, if I got an email like that from MY boyfriend, I'd *actually* read the damn thing, take a hint, and try to give better head from then on. Because you know what? I'm not a selfish bitch who'd write a FML about it, get mad over it, and I actually love my boyfriend. If anyone, HE deserves a FML because you're apparently seriously crap at it. Bonus points to him, for being honest too.
COCKYmanUSC 3
Way to be a jerk about it.
KasaraEm13 12
You know it, buddy. Sometimes people need tough love. :D
thatkimgirl 1
And you're an asshole. Do they write 'how not to vent your own insecurities onto other people' guides?
ibm3 6
Well that blows.
diychick317 0
Oh helllll no. If that was me, Mr. ******* is getting kicked past the damn curb!
meechiep 0
Dump him, learn to do it better for the next guy. LOL
aparent3576 0
What an asshole!