Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
Forwarded
Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML
Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Now you know
Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend likes to show his female co-workers his dick, by emailing them pictures of it. I found out when he included my email address in with theirs. FML
Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML
Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Top comments
laideehawk 6
Next time you go down on him, tell him you hope you're doing it right as the guy in the video had a much larger penis.
ciarafox9 9
How subtle.. :D
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (170)
laideehawk 6
Next time you go down on him, tell him you hope you're doing it right as the guy in the video had a much larger penis.
GigaPudding_fml 24
Sometimes I feel like whenever a guy is a douche, you instantly see the reply "say his dick is small". Isn't there anything else you could insult him with? I'd prefer something a bit more original and personal, to make sure it gets to him.
rexgar2000 10
I agree with 21 sorry :(
GardeningHoes 0
The "small penis" card is an ace in the hole, as there's no good way we can defend ourselves.
Freeze_fml 17
Except when evidence proves otherwise.
sicnesses 6
Zing!
nerdness 2
i wanted to like this comment but i saw it had 69 likes hehehe :D
K_kanaka 26
And it's guys like him that give men a bad rep.
leadman1989 16
NO actually it's guys like you. So you're trying to say that communicating (email/video isn't what I would have chosen) with your significant other that there's something they can do better in the bed room is BAD? What THE ****? So if a guy breaks up with a girl for not enough or bad sex he's a PIG if he tries to straighten out the situation he's also a pig? You people are infuriating!
cinderella10383 6
All he said was it's guys like this douche that give good men a bad name I think you read more into it than it was or it was meant for someone else's comment
leadman1989 16
Yes but WHY is this guy a douche what has he done that's SOOO disgusting and wrong? Having sex with his willing partner? Trying to improve sex with said willing partner? Having a penis?
ash_momi 0
Hey omg how do u message people.... Hilo boy I know u haha ur my brothers frend
ReynshineCutting 10
Well it was a total douche move what her boyfriend did. Yes communication is important but if you do it wrong you just ruin everything like her boyfriend did. If she's that bad he needs to nicely talk to her about it, not belittle her and be a dick.
Gigglebear 9
Exactly - he handled it passive aggressively instead of just talking to her.
a_nutritionist 10
i dont know about you guys but if i find an interesting article, regardless of the content, ill pass it on to my girlfriend. you dont have to read into EVERYTHING. besides, you dont know that it wasnt a follow up on a comment he made earlier about something she is doing wrong or simply a piece of trivia he read and wanted to see what her thoughts were.
leadman1989 16
BELITTLE HER? How? By sending her a link? Maybe the guy has trouble communicating but there's nothin about sending an email that implies that he doesn't value her?
leadman1989 16
Some people are passive aggressive it's not an intrinsically bad trait besides he could have talked to her about it but this information just explained/demonstrated it better. Who knows?
ReynshineCutting 10
Sending her an email that says "You suck at head, here's an instructional video" is belittling her.
a_nutritionist 10
@149 yeah...except that simply didnt happen...so way to go pointing out irrelevant details.
Bloodlvst 11
Find one that says "How To Eat Pussy" and send it to him with a nice little "We're over." footnote
leadman1989 16
Maybe ops boyfriend is already good at it, maybe he's tired of being the only one not getting good oral...
KasCiaYr 0
Maybe op doesnt want to leave her boifriend. Why would she? Cause he communicates his needs and does it with humour?
Enslaved 38
Nothing wrong with educating yourself. I had to learn hands on (or rather **** on). Reading material would have been a nice start. What a shocker I got! Lol
boredblonde 17
Send it back to him because he's the only one that would want to do it to him.
AsianCookie247 14
You really are blonde.
rexgar2000 10
so you sucked at it and that's why he sent you that?
cameron194 9
lol you really had to clarify that:o.. lol
whited666 0
I'll try that:D!
thetacman 1
I'll help you practice ;) lol
sexxme 9
Send him a picture of you blowing some guy and write, "You mean...like this?".
leadman1989 16
And he instantly puts it online ruining ops reputation. You're a smart one.
DarkHelmet 10
Your as cold ad ice but I wouldve said the same lol
DarkHelmet 10
Then take the hint!!
KasCiaYr 0
Who sayd anything about giving head?
MrLookAtThere 10
The FML did.