Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML
Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML
Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
That's when you whip out a sex toy and tell him "You first"!~
Joeyc524 0
Hahahha that's mad funny
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Comments (343)
Joeyc524 0
Hahahha that's mad funny
Isabel312 0
indeed.
JacksonCampbell 9
And it works, too!
kingtz 6
The boyfriend is awesome. Anal is definitely the best contraceptive!
khaya 9
He is awesome, I will strive to shape my future son to be like your boyfriend.
Pownzeez 0
This is an asstastic fml.
Miss_Michaela 10
I know. He's just assking to be called a moron.
you_freak 7
Could the boyfriend possibly be Charlie Sheen?
brake_fml 0
he the man
tabarnak_fml 7
What a great Analogy, isn't? Is analogy a word? Darn my low english knowledge!
insanesna1l 0
analogy is a word. Bird is also a word. it also happens to be "the" word. what were we talking about again?? oh yeah, cake.
MyDogTastesBad 0
Can you guess what song this quote is from? "Big dicks in your ass is bad for your health."
KiddNYC1O 22
Your song from personal experience?^
JosherMan 0
check yourself by icecube?
example947 0
58 is that.... CHANG!!?!?!
rebekahah 7
well, OP, it is an efficient form of brith control.
lsufootball 0
well OP should be careful on her period, I to can **** through mud you can **** through blood
nateb1tch 1
It's still possible to get knocked up though.
CommonSenseKarma 17
Wait, I thought some women shat their babies, how does anal help? You naïve interweb-ers and your illogical arguments.
chickensensation 2
women shit babies?! never heard that one before
hannah1203 2
172, lmao!
hannah1203 2
172, lmao!
JoshZ 0
John Lajoie a.k.a MC ****** can make you pregnant in your bum
cookies61889 15
that's cause his sperm is very super famous
ipoopeverywhere 0
^win
oddball90210 0
208 you're an idiot
sxxxc18 0
MARRY THAT MAN!!
shumian 4
idiot
joshi42 16
I know several persons, who act and look like been born through this orifice...
thedoenut 5
I raises my rod in Egypt and split the red sea by that I mean I ha sex with a girl on her period thats right I don't mind ketchup on my hotdog as long as the bun is tight - Jon lajoie
hobojo11 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
your boyfriend is my hero
ayleyyasuko 0
ew
leeshxx 3
I don't get why guys want to put there dick in a girls ass. it's the home of shit and is suppose to be a one way exit.. eh bum virgin for life
CitrusGirl 0
No reason to have butt sex unless you're gay is what I say.
MissFukMyLuck 0
thank you all the men in the world who understand a dick in the ass is not pleasant!!! don't give it unless you want to receive it.
kritz0 10
I don't remember it ever been uncomfortable...but then again...if my man can treat the vag right...I knew he could treat the bum right.
kritz0 10
That's...nice? Or something.
MissBunny25 0
123 you're acting like 122 flew in from outer space because of the context of her comment... why? I mean, you just told everyone how great your man handles vaginas and assholes. shouldnt it be us directing a sarcastic comment toward you? oh wait...
kritz0 10
Maybe she did fly in from outer space!!! Eh...Shouldn't knock something until its tried....properly...anyways. -.-
xcarxcrashx 9
True true 129. To each his/her own.
ktdad07 0
113 - You're ashamed of your own gender because a portion of men enjoy anal sex? That seems reasonable. There is so much stereotyping that takes place when people talk about anal. Not all dudes are into in. Not all chicks are against it. It's a personal preference, not something dictated by gender.
Hockeyboy4280 18
Mine too...
mamutdfanx13 0
I third that
lerouxmaster 7
I fourth that.
EatnBeef 7
it takes a man to realize that anal is a form of birth control. he is indeed my hero
bigd1130 3
I fifth that.
Vapor17 0
I sixth that.
capitalone 0
I seventh that
shovels 0
I eighth that.
slimshayday 4
I ninth that
FreakenJewtastic 0
221 and your boyfriend are both my Heros now. Next to Leonard Nimoy of course.
StdecualsMyth 0
where can I meet your boyfriend?:)
pickles1994 18
I tenth that
emoflopkitteh 0
I eleventh that.
xSgtTh0masx 0
I twelfth that!
cookies61889 15
I unlucky 13 th that
Kriissttaa 0
I fourteenth that !!
evperry 2
I fifteenth that
ShadyFTW1 0
Next person to make a number comment is a ******* chode.
xxcheezy7xx 5
heehee, i was gunna till i saw ur comment ^ xD im no chaude
ky765 0
i sixty ninth that
deadpool91 0
hahaha I 16th that
rmbroad 0
I 20th that biotch
MisterDoctor 12
i tenth that.
cumberbunny 17
Shit son, I seventieth that.
Adyingpine 10
I eighteenth that
wdupvato 0
Omg your so lucky hehe ;)
RavenRiley007 4
YAG
Mirorbo 27
That's when you whip out a sex toy and tell him "You first"!~
hobojo11 0
win
s10biker 1
heck you might find his special spot...
DiamondFinish 0
Oh that's nastyyy. (In a Cleveland voice)
docscientist 10
It's sort of a cruel joke that the make G-spot is in the butt.
docscientist 10
*male...
CitrusGirl 0
YES agree with this 100% a man shouldn't ask to do his lady in the butt unless he's willing to take it too
creedaddict 9
ur my hero lol
lol_ironic_life 9
I agree with CitrusGirl! :D
resplendencerino_fml 3
epic win!!!
i_luv_u3030 3
agreed
RunnerDudeTyler 0
Well alright let's go lol be gentle
cfalen 0
I said what what in the butt! I said what what in the butt! you wanna do it in my butt in my butt? let's do it in the butt ok...
amurphy2 0
haha win ^^
dathotginge 0
do u no how much a ***** wud hurt up there it wud not b fun just let him bone her up the butt and do it that way!!!
Picking_Kuppies 0
Ginge, you're not very bright, are you?
hisgirlherboy 5
nice abs runnerdude
RunnerDudeTyler 0
thanks :) ^^
siickman 7
nah beacause think about .. take up one hole might as well take it in the other and the guy shuld not have to unless tey are gay/ bi.
steffielynn 0
what makes you think the chick should have to?
dathotginge 0
nope!!!
DontBeACreeper 0
nice abs. just saying.
DontBeACreeper 0
youre cute!
brighteyes81 0
So only women should have things they don't want shoved up their butt?! No one should do things they don't want to. You men saying the woman should but definitly not the man are obviously asshats.
RunnerDudeTyler 0
^ your right nobody should have to do what they don't want... If you want to give anal find a girl who likes it done push it on someone, or if she's the type to want to be even try something new and get her a strapon. haha
duravian 1
men getting anal is gay. men insert and women receive, one hole or another. guys do not receive. that's it. the end
Clavey 6
very true(:
ichikibobivopula 0
glee does blow^^
hey_jeanette_fml 0
I agree lol
iJasper 8
Lawl
bakayaro_fml 0
uh oh feminazi alert. some girls are into that and some aren't. get over it, bro
notsurewhattoput 0
HELL YA!
klonopin_ftw 0
your boyfriend is made of epic win
StdecualsMyth 0
He is awesome :)
ZhcInc 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That man is a genius.
ilpapagrande 16
agreed!
docscientist 10
I know, a man identifying a hole as a penis receptacle. Brilliant!
GaryMuzz 4
lol 64, nice
unidentified_sta 5
But whose anus though...
WOGBRO 6
Up top
whipmie87 0
I've heard of (known some) who have done this. it's not fool proof though. you can get pregnant just by it getting to the whoo-haa. watch some scrubs (and this time it is true, lol )
LikDezNutz 0
^ lol
s10biker 1
no I'm sorry your wrong. you can not get pregnant in the butt. it's not medically possible
unidentified_sta 5
I'm not satisfied with that statement until rigorous and thorough testing is done.
Thanatos1206 0
This is the most stupid thing I think I've ever read on this site. Please tell me your kidding.
devileyekill 0
You do know it can drip or slide into her ****** and can cause pregnancy right? No you don't obviously.
Thanatos1206 0
That's why the chick wears a vaginal diaper to absorb any leakage there might be. Uh-doy!
sunnysurfchick 0
how in the world is going anal gonna get a girl pregnant?
smileeee_fml 0
lmaoo
monnanon 14
Are you kidding me? thats like saying you will get pregnent if you use fingers that have come into contact with sperm. It is HIGHLU unlikely if it is at all possible. Its hard enough to get pregnant when sperm is where it should be what the hell makes you think sperm will survive the journey from the ass to the ******. You should not even be having sex without a condom so really all talk of dripping and other such nonsense is a moot point.
kritz0 10
It is possible..and women CAN get pregnant from fingers with sperm on them into the vag. If its quick enough...you are such a f***ing idiot if you think not. If the semen is still wet..there is still LIVE sperm and it CAN survive outside of the body for up to 30 minutes outside of the body as long as it remains wet and isn't on something that is very 'cold' like a towel. You have GOT to be an idiot if you don't know shit, about how bodily fluids act. Vaginal fluids aren't only in the ******..but also all around it...and on the OH GUESS WHAT, the perineum or taint. Whichever term to prefer...or even know about...but guessing by your stupid response, I'm betting you'll probably have to google it. Sperm/Semen mixes with the Vaginal fluid even if there was NO vaginal intercourse and it CAN result in pregnancy. Yes the chances are EXTREMELY limited, but it can happen.
you_freak 7
Not to mention, sperm can travel up lube as well
tabernacle_fml 0
@131 due to its acidity vaginal fluids are actually toxic/deadly to sperm cells. hence the reason the penis secretes lubricant or preseminal fluid to protect it
kritz0 10
#154...uhm....how would sperm be present after ejaculations without semen? I meant the sperm is still alive if the semen is wet. Thus.... even if you have cum on your hands..and wait a sec before sticking them in your vag...there is still a chance of pregnancy. Both the SEMEN and the SPERM are still present.
zapworth 0
so THIS is why my girlfriend's getting fat. crud.
browncity23 0
Anal is natures condom
ImanAzol 4
leakage, dude. Besides, where do you think lawyers come from?
ballwiz23 0
yes it is. rare but possible
monnanon 14
@131 If you had actually read my full comment instead of flipping out because I didn't agree with you, you would have seen that I said its highly unlikely if it happens at all. What I mean by that is that yes in theory it can happen but that does not mean it will. Sperm have a hard enough time in the ****** without have the extra journey. Yes I do know all about vaginal fluids and shit like that I have been pregnant and i do know my body. As i also mentioned in my comment a condom should be used anyway so any dripping would not happen. People on this site seem to treat pregnancy as the enevitable outcome of any type of sexual contact unless it is stopped, in reality pregnancy can take forever when you are trying. @167 murpheys law is a good point, thats probably why there is so many couples trying for years with no baby and so many one night stand babies. No this comment isn't sarcastic I am agreeing with you.
dbaldonado 0
you can NOT get preggers with anal. that's STUPID. it's like saying you can get pregnant through oral. wow, how young are you guys?????
5t3ff1k4h 45
293 - I'm 20, and well educated. I agree that it is POSSIBLE to get pregnant via anal sex if the circumstances are correct. I didn't say it was common or likely; it's simply possible.
matchnaller 0
well as people have already told you, it's not medically possible. secondly you must be one of those people who think you can get pregnant from a toilet seat. and third your "hoo haa" isn't meant to welcome 1 little drop of sperm, it would be killed immediately even if a little managed to make it's way in there. we all have a chance of being impaled through the head by a meteor at any time, but when does that ever happen?
angeleyes8675309 7
Agreed. :)
themostunlucky_fml 14
Wow… that's sounds so stupid but it's true wtf?
grayfox31 0
thumbs up :p Looool
intheboot 0
in the boot!!!
AlunKey 0
it's called bartering OP. if you'd kept at it you could have had him down to pulling out and a morning after pill.