Cosmopolitan's 50 Top Tips for Lonely Saddos!

By opposites don’t attract - 16/09/2020 11:03 - United States

Today, I was so sad and lonely, so I started browsing articles about how to get a man. Basically every list was naming the exact opposite of everything I am. So I guess if I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life, I have to change everything about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 061
You deserved it 321

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You don't have to be everything in an article, but you do need to accomplish 3 things (this goes for men and women): 1. Meet men. Do activities or go places you can meet them. You can try online (though my success sucked there, and that favors people who can make a good profile photo.) This may mean finding new hobbies or groups that aren't 90%+ female. 2. Be a decent human being. Don't play mind games, don't be passive aggressive, hot and cold. Don't yell or fight or complain all the time. Whether man or woman - that will push people away. 3. Work on yourself as best you can. You don't need to be a model, but you do need to do what you can to be attractive (and not just physically). Dress well for your body type and pay attention to hygiene (no one looks good in frumpy sweaters and oversized sweat pants.) Have hobbies, do fun things and show you're going somewhere in life, and have interesting things to talk about if they ask "what did you do this weekend?" You don't have to change who you are, but you do have to try and be your best self. But if you're rude, boring and never go out, or if you do it's somewhere that you'll only ever see women, yeah, you probably deserved it.

The point is not to “get a man,” but to find someone compatible with you. Sometimes the qualities that attract men aren’t what keep them. Hang in there!

Comments

So you ARE boring, dishonest, passive aggressive, and have no sense of humor? A bit late to start working on that, then..

your beautiful yell fond someone who loves you the way you are

You don't have to be everything in an article, but you do need to accomplish 3 things (this goes for men and women): 1. Meet men. Do activities or go places you can meet them. You can try online (though my success sucked there, and that favors people who can make a good profile photo.) This may mean finding new hobbies or groups that aren't 90%+ female. 2. Be a decent human being. Don't play mind games, don't be passive aggressive, hot and cold. Don't yell or fight or complain all the time. Whether man or woman - that will push people away. 3. Work on yourself as best you can. You don't need to be a model, but you do need to do what you can to be attractive (and not just physically). Dress well for your body type and pay attention to hygiene (no one looks good in frumpy sweaters and oversized sweat pants.) Have hobbies, do fun things and show you're going somewhere in life, and have interesting things to talk about if they ask "what did you do this weekend?" You don't have to change who you are, but you do have to try and be your best self. But if you're rude, boring and never go out, or if you do it's somewhere that you'll only ever see women, yeah, you probably deserved it.

Your comment is more helpful and realistic than anything I expected to find. /tip hat

That's pretty impressive! You don't even have a niche of men that like you? I'm pretty horrible myself, but every now and then, I find the odd woman who finds me tolerable.

I've been reading your comments for a while and I have to admit that the last part here did actually surprise me

The point is not to “get a man,” but to find someone compatible with you. Sometimes the qualities that attract men aren’t what keep them. Hang in there!

Yeah, I wouldn't be looking to magazines for that sort of advice anyway. There's no magic formula to attract people. Keep being yourself, you don't want to be with someone who loves you for who you aren't, anyway. There's always going to be someone who likes what you are.

Since majority of the articles how to keep a man are of the "be a doormat with no selfrespect, act as his mommy since he needs all your care, don't talk about yourself but about him" variety, I'm not sure you want to be like those articles...

Having the self awareness that maybe what you're doing isn't working is a great first step.

no, I would just work on one thing that speaks to you. don't undermine your true self

Don’t change yourself for other people. And don’t go off some list in a magazine to tell you what people do and don’t find attractive. I had one type my whole life and then all of the sudden I changed it up. Just keep being you and you’ll get it.