Nice try, chief
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML
Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML
Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
That's when you whip out a sex toy and tell him "You first"!~
Joeyc524 0
Hahahha that's mad funny
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Comments (343)
blakkat77 0
that is the best way have fun
Vjesta 5
Tell him that that's fine and that you'll buy a strap-on soon. Works guaranteed, all of a sudden, none of them is interested in anal anymore.
mangythrashette 0
And any guy who is interested is a keeper!
LukeSkywalker28 0
Problem, condoms?
twister21_fml 0
OMG! LOL
EvilPotato 15
your boyfriend is the best
GetChiZZedoN 0
nononono that's the butt hole and is for exit only no entrance permitted... nasty ass -.-
jesskc1 0
ewww nasty mofo lol
XxHITMAN11895xX 3
oh yeah!!!
Lain_0 3
Even if some people don't believe a girl can get pregnant just because some semen may drip (also stupidity cuz many cases where the girl got pregnant just because of rubbing happened. Men release spermatozoa before ejaculating and that's proofed to be true) It's unsafe to do anal without a condom. Lots of bacteria are inside the anus because of the faeces, that's why it's also recommended to change condoms when after anal people want to continue regular intercourse.
life_lol 0
paging Dr. ******.
xgetxbentx 13
there's also an increased chance of AIDS due to anal ripping, so not only is there bodily fluid exchange, there's open wounds.
xgetxbentx 13
Also, 87, just because the person knows that information, doesn't mean he's gay. it just means he paid attention in sex ed. I knew that as well, and I'm a female who refuses to even try anal, so clearly I don't know from experience. grow up a little, your derogatory terms and seemingly homophobic remark make you look incredibly ignorant and a tad pathetic. not to mention, close mindedness is a turn off for a lot of women.
monnanon 14
I really have my doubts about people who say they got pregnant through rubbing, what a load of shite, what are they uber fertile? The same goes with the drippings thing. Pregnancy is not something that happens automatically when protection isn't being used it can take months or years of the right kind of sex with all the right factors to have a baby. I think the people that say it was an accident caused by heavy petting are lying possibly because they are under the age of consent. If it is true then they are very very unlucky.
5t3ff1k4h 45
130 - Usually I agree with you, but what you're going on about here is complete crap. It is DEFINITELY possible (as someone else mentioned to you up ^ there somewhere) for someone to become pregnant from heavy petting, provided the one doing the petting has semen on their fingers. As long as there's liquid for the sperm to travel through, they will travel. It's not a guarantee pregnancy will occur as there are many factors which dictate fertility. But, it's certainly possible assuming the woman is fertile, has released an egg, and semen was present near or in the ******.
cgyguy 0
may you have many oopses in your ignorance
auto_da_fe 2
Monnanon, I'd say it's pretty damn easy to get pregnant if you aren't using any form of birth control and are healthy. Just because you may have trouble conceiving doesn't mean everyone else is the same.
monnanon 14
@152 I know it can happen, in theory, but i still believe for your body to be receptive to sperm from your fingers you would have to be super fertile and that would still make the person unlucky, unless of course they wanted to be pregnant. I still have my doubts about people saying thats how it happened becuase it would be super hard to achieve and more often than not they are trying to cover their tracks. The ****** is quite a hard environment for sperm, if it was an easy journey there wouldn't be millions released. Everything else such as being on your skin and maybe drying out or being exposed to the enviroment of the anus further depletes the chances. So yes I do believe it can happen in theory but it would be very hard to find someone who really had gotten pregnant that way. @188 I have never had any "oopsies" because I am not ignorant. @271 Actually I became pregnant two months after I started trying but thank you for your concern. The amount of stories of people trying for years cannot be ignored neither can the statistics. Becoming pregnant easily through sex is a whole world away from an accident through heavy petting. Just think how quick seman can dry and how acidic skin must be to something like sperm.
1234USMC 0
Smart man. Smart man indeed!