Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML
Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML
Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
That's when you whip out a sex toy and tell him "You first"!~
Joeyc524 0
Hahahha that's mad funny
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Comments (343)
Darth_Taco 14
That's the exact same birth control my boyfriend and I used when we first had sex. That and homosexuality :P. Still, it works :D!
Zachill 1
hahaha I like this guy
EatnBeef 7
it takes a man to realize that anal is a form of birth control. he is indeed my hero
BaronSin 0
obviously not afraid to end up with shitty kids
rockefoe 6
sometimes, i hate men.
yurko_uki 0
sometimes ashamed to be one !
Rainbow_dumpster 28
YOU THINK ANAL SEX HURTS? TRY HAVING A KID. WHEN YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO HAVE SEX AND THERE'S NO CONTRACEPTION AROUND, JUST TAKE IT IN THE ASS. IT MAY NOT BE THE MOST COMFORTABLE THING IN THE WORLD BUT IT WILL HURT A WHOLE LOT LESS THAN SQUEEZING A NEWBORN OUT OF YOUR CROTCH NINE MONTHS LATER. [Taken from a Planned Parenthood ad]
bigwill722 0
roll tide
saltypirate 0
SO?!?!?!?!?!?! who cares about that?
DriftingTaco 0
I just made an account for the sole purpose of commenting on this, and let me tell you - your boyfriend is a genius. and no, you cannot be impregnated through anal intercourse - your anus is the end of your digestive system, not your reproductive system.
ImanAzol 4
As several people have commented, yes, you can get pregnant from anal due to leakage. It is unlikely, but possible. Stop trying to be smart about subjects you don't know.
darkcrave 0
ftw