Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML
Today, my boyfriend set up a very romantic dinner. Afterwards, he offered to wash the dishes while I went upstairs and relaxed. His way of washing the dishes was to scrape all the food off, then wipe the juices off the dishes with a paper towel before putting them back in the cupboards. FML
Today, my boyfriend did the washing as an attempt to help me. Not only are all my clothes now pink, he refuses to do the dishes, vacuuming, bathroom, ironing etc., as he has done "plenty." FML
Today, I explained to my man child of a boyfriend that we don't reuse dirty dishes. We have to wash them. He doesn't think it's gross and yelled at me, throwing the pan in the sink. Oh, he also refuses to wash dishes. FML
Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend's farts got so bad that we made a deal: every day that he doesn't fart, he gets a blowjob. Suddenly, he's not letting gas out anymore. FML
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Top comments
nebula748 14
What did you expect?
docscientist 10
I guess you should have him eat out more.
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Comments (356)
brozorz 0
is it like one hour per time?
nicoleanddrake 0
are your lips chapped yet?
jmini95 0
what do u expect xD
Egnar 19
You deserve this! Really, what did you expect from this? Did you think he would ignore your request?. . .In fact had he ignored your request I'm sure there would still be an FML and it would read: "Today, I promised my boyfriend a ******** every time he does the dishes. . .They're still not done. . .He chooses being dirty over getting intimate with his girlfriend. FML." You knew he'd desire a ******** which is why you offered it! And frankly, if he's cleaning dishes [after the first time] that are already clean you give him a single ******* and tell him it doesn't count as cleaning if they're already clean. . . .Now you have to live with your decision.
wmsdubstep 6
Should've threatened to take his XBOX/PS3, that's if he owns one, of course!
harbqll 0
Um...you are aware she's his girlfriend, and not him mother, right? Or is your boyfriend such a pussy that this is what you're used to?
twizzy21 0
She wears the pants in the relationship. Haha
harbqll 0
Looks that way.
Zombieslayer1 0
You can't just take something away from someone just because you don't want to live up to a really sweet promise.
lmaoatall 6
when he polishes the silver, your going to have to return the favor and polish his knob extra good.
cbizkitten 0
a bet is a bet. now get on your knees. lol
abcd4242 0
hahaha nice!
louie111887 0
a promise is a promise. now op should get on her knees right 54 ? I agree with you.
ceddyz17 10
you better keep up your end of the deal
louie111887 0
op better. because she said she would do it. and if her bf does what SHE said then he should get some bjs haha
harbqll 0
My wife uses a similar arrangement to get me to mow/edge the lawn.
docscientist 10
You must buy the best damn fertilizer available.
caaklove 0
I don't see how this can be answered as i agree, your life sucks. while you may not have expected that he would do the dishes, you should have chosen something in return that you're more willing to do. YDI. and he deserves it. haha.