Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML
Today, my boyfriend set up a very romantic dinner. Afterwards, he offered to wash the dishes while I went upstairs and relaxed. His way of washing the dishes was to scrape all the food off, then wipe the juices off the dishes with a paper towel before putting them back in the cupboards. FML
Today, my boyfriend did the washing as an attempt to help me. Not only are all my clothes now pink, he refuses to do the dishes, vacuuming, bathroom, ironing etc., as he has done "plenty." FML
Today, I explained to my man child of a boyfriend that we don't reuse dirty dishes. We have to wash them. He doesn't think it's gross and yelled at me, throwing the pan in the sink. Oh, he also refuses to wash dishes. FML
Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend's farts got so bad that we made a deal: every day that he doesn't fart, he gets a blowjob. Suddenly, he's not letting gas out anymore. FML
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Top comments
nebula748 14
What did you expect?
docscientist 10
I guess you should have him eat out more.
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Comments (356)
max_wilder 9
that sucks
soketgo 0
ur gonna look like fergie
thebitnitz 5
Protein Shake
sourgirl101 29
He did his chore now it's time for you to do your chore! Joking aside, the fact that sex is involved may turn people's minds into thinking that it's a whorish thing to trade and it might be, if that's what you feel about it now. However, it's your realationship and if you don't like the out come then change the deal. I'm pretty sure the boyfriend was trying to make an extra joke about it by washing dishes that are already clean. Seems funny on his part.
louie111887 0
I hate it when women in relationships pull that double standard and just change the rules from an already said deal. my ex used to have "rules" with me and she would change them if she didn't like certain outcomes. but if I ever tried to change these so called "rules" she would either get mad or not want to follow them. maybe my ex was just a bitch. lol I don't know. 63-sourgirl- I'm not hating on you though. your comment just happened to remind me of crap my ex would pull on me hahaha. and in fact I love your comments haha. you're one of my favorite fmlers.
sourgirl101 29
Thank you Louie! (: And you're right! It does suck when things are one sided and she could change the "rules" but you couldn't. But even in the business world, many deals need tweaking here and there. That's all I meant by changing the deal. Compromise. My husband does the dishes at our house. I have my own deal with him. Lol
goldfish78 11
3x a day of ******* for washing dishes. make sure he also wash his ****.
TraceCase_ 19
Should have stuck your foot in your mouth before offering that up. Now you have dick times a million to look forward to in there.
Cowgirl098 0
What did you expect?
robchfra 5
Just make sure you follow through on the agreement. You suggested it, you follow up on it. :0
lalalihsuh 0
maybe you should re negotiate a new promise ?
Zombieslayer1 0
that is totally lame to change a deal. She said she would give this lucky guy a bj every time he did the dishes, to change that agreement would be super bitchy. Time to get some Chapstick.
CACC_fml 0
wow