Today, after a particularly gruesome nightmare about spiders due to my irrational phobia, I decided to try and desensitise myself by googling 'house spiders'. I can't stop the feeling of something crawling over every inch of my body, but at least I now know they can live up to six years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, and every day for the last ten days, I’ve woken up in the morning and found another new spider somewhere in my room, ten days in a row. I don’t know where the bastards are coming from but I’m seriously considering sleeping in another room, or buying a new house. FML
Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, the last 8 spiders found in the house have all been in my bedroom. Not the kitchen, or my sister's room, or our parents' room, or front room, laundry, or garage. Always in my room. I’m the only one in the house scared of spiders. The bastards are haunting me, trying to scare me to death. FML
Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML
Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML
Today, some spider must have had babies somewhere in the walls, because every five minutes I seem to find yet another spider on my ceiling, in my cupboards, under the furniture, everywhere. I’m so fed up of smashing them, I’m thinking of getting the house fumigated. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
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Top comments
dman4412 0
why did I have to read this right before I go to bed...
PsychoMerk 0
It's ok OP, I have an irrational phobia of owls... yet my favorite place to eat is Hooters... the irony makes me ashamed of myself :(
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Comments (139)
cookie08_fml 0
not an fml
Numino 0
True Fact: No matter where you are, you are never more then 6 feet away from a spider
beiberlookalike1 0
rely? that's a scary fact
jpest17 5
only when it's fear of gays is it their fault???
rds029 0
I thought it was 3 feet
qwillis98 20
What if im in an empty 7x7 room and everything is white and the room is 10 feet tall and i see no spiders what then?
shitidied 17
white spiders. saw one once
dman4412 0
why did I have to read this right before I go to bed...
thor89 0
You are Fake and Gay Keep on Trolling
tookietookie123 5
Ditto
RustyGuns 0
Thritto
tookietookie123 5
Ohh and it's been said you are ALWAYS within 3-5 feet of a spider!!!
BlkNRedSkull 0
now i feel them...
0671241409 0
also in your lifetime your will swallow around 8 spiders in your sleep because they sometime crawl into your mouth. just thought the op might like to know that :D
Blue_Coconuts 7
Google trapdoor spider. :D
jason2468 0
how is this an fml it's just sayin that she looke. up spiders on google big woop
bishoprsv2 0
Black widows are so poisonous, one bite can kill a man 8 times. Also, they are native to New York.
Bewitched_fml 0
and don't forget the possibility that they can crawl in you ear, lay their eggs and then you not know it until baby spiders start crawling out from your ear...
ladida94 0
splendid.! and lmaooo thritto.!
MF12 0
Quadritto?
ladida94 0
and kill a man 8 times.?? lol he shoulda stayed dead tha first time lolzzz
dudeitsdanny 10
Charmander! ...... We're naming pokemon, right? Ditto and all...?
jasonsaied 1
hahahahhahahahahahahahahhaha 104
P1xie 0
great I read this before I went to bed .... thanks
Victoire_W 0
Omg
n8equalsd 0
so?
Allie614032 34
As a fellow arachnophobe, I can assure you that this is not something I wanted to know :(((
applebee_16 0
I have the same phobia. fml I have anxiety attacks if i see a spider near me... ugh
Foxy_On_Fire 21
I do to I stopped breathing and then cried for an hour from flashbacks.
neonokku 0
metoo
Edwinadii 4
Rumor has it that you are always within three feet of a spider.
ALRULES88 1
spiders are gross!!!! 6 YEARS!!!!!
WhatANoob 0
omfg guys I'm like...awsomernthen sll of u cuz I'm laikencommentorn7 lolololool
PsychoMerk 0
It's ok OP, I have an irrational phobia of owls... yet my favorite place to eat is Hooters... the irony makes me ashamed of myself :(
KASHMIR_fml 0
hahahahahah good one
thecoolest 0
You shouldn't be afraid of Hooters. Judging from your profile pic that seems like a potential job opportunity.
tereshay 0
oooooo
PsychoMerk 0
no... I seriously freak out Dx and thank you :) that made my day! :D
qwillis98 20
My dad was working as a cop and he was clearong an old drug barn when he opened a door a huge owl landed on his arm >:)
chandlerthedog 0
I didn't know they could live up to 6 years!!!
noobgang7 5
I found out if you kill one it doesn't live for 6 years?!
akagron 0
They can live UP TO six years. So obviously, if you kill it, it won't live six years.
f_your_life_09 0
ewwww I hate spiders. well now u know not to ever google ur irrational fears again :D
inuyashagirl 0
when there's a spider in my room, I'm always too squeemish to squash it so I trap it in a box and set it free. one time I forgot to set it free though and I found an old dried up spider a month later. XD hehe
facingforeverr 0
lol ummm how do you feel lije stuffs crawling on you. id say this is morw like a mental disorder than a fear...ive only gotten tht feeling twice nd wen it happend i was trippin
dudeitsdanny 10
Google the word "phobia"
Resquall 0
I'd say you're still "trippin", number 11.
woofis 0
lol nice grammar
qwillis98 20
QUICK SOMEONE BUY THE MAN A DICTIONARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!