Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML
Today, my boyfriend set up a very romantic dinner. Afterwards, he offered to wash the dishes while I went upstairs and relaxed. His way of washing the dishes was to scrape all the food off, then wipe the juices off the dishes with a paper towel before putting them back in the cupboards. FML
Today, my boyfriend did the washing as an attempt to help me. Not only are all my clothes now pink, he refuses to do the dishes, vacuuming, bathroom, ironing etc., as he has done "plenty." FML
Today, I explained to my man child of a boyfriend that we don't reuse dirty dishes. We have to wash them. He doesn't think it's gross and yelled at me, throwing the pan in the sink. Oh, he also refuses to wash dishes. FML
Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend's farts got so bad that we made a deal: every day that he doesn't fart, he gets a blowjob. Suddenly, he's not letting gas out anymore. FML
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Top comments
nebula748 14
What did you expect?
docscientist 10
I guess you should have him eat out more.
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Comments (356)
nebula748 14
What did you expect?
mz_booty 0
I know right haha what guy wouldn't wash all the dishes for a bj!! op your mouth is going to be so sore by the end of the week hahaha
Cinn_fml 23
Even if it's only dirty dishes the bf only needs to use them - I'm sure he can think of an excuse - and then wash them... :P Might slow him down though.
marmlr339 14
you have a lucky boyfriend!
vanilla2u 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Op you're a *****, giving away your body for dishes shame on you.
thegreat1_one 0
not her body. just her mouth
Flutequeen 0
haha that's funny
falluke17 0
her bf 42... her bf
skyeyez9 25
At the rate your bf is washing dishes, you wont have time to come up for air.
shannonreneee 11
My boyfriend tried to pay me for a ********. When I said no he threw a tantrum like a 4 year old. cool.
stilldrunk88 6
you should use this to get him to do all the house work i.e. cut the grass = 2 bjs. You will never have to lift a finger again (just move your head up and down) and just think, you normally gave bjs for free. If this works well you can see what else you can get through bjs, it's win, win. lol
daddy_fatsak 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Just give it to him for free then, why dont wonen wanna give a bj? I dont see why u make a bih deal og it
chrisauh 4
why don't women enjoy sex? it sure seems like it
mfmylifesrsly 30
89 I hope he's your ex now. and OP just give him a ******** for free god dammit! especially if he eats you out you gotta return the favor!
C6Racer 0
As simple as 1-2-3.
loveisforever876 0
wow. your a dumbass. it's her ******* boyfriend not 3 random guys! jeez get over yourself and stop calling out random girls for being ****** just because they like to have fun.
laurbear12 3
mz booty why don't you show your face in your pics?? haha
witchdoctor1 9
well when it's her boyfriend you honestly can't say she's a *****....since the term for a *****/**** is to have multiple partners for sexual acts...-.- OP just a honest girlfriend whose plan backfired majorly..
thatmanjan 0
Squeaky clean everything !!!
angelpies 0
WTF..
TheNewGuy03 29
140 -- simple. it's not her. |the kid|
ImanAzol 4
She'll only have time to go down for ****.
Heather_x0x0 6
OP: he cleans the dishes and you clean his....nevermind.
NikkiFlysKites 8
116, if it's no big deal, why don't you go suck some dick?
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
Don't just stop there OP make him do the laundry as well!!!
ImmortalKratos 0
squeaky clean dishes for you. squeaky clean penis for your Bf. I don't see the Fml here...
iizcalebhearmero 0
youre hot
sweet_princess 0
it's her bf .... she not giving her body to anyone and it's her mouth ..
andrealovvve 17
righttt! that's wat I was thinkin
YouFailForLife 7
I see nothing wrong here....
kitsunedemon1 2
how is she a *****? it's her boyfriend. everyone has sexual relations when dating. its not like shes selling her body to strangers.
lolmyendoff456 7
Lol bad move on ur part ...
mzeemzima 0
I've always wondered, do chicks like giving bjs or do they just put up with it coz let's face it must taste nasty
Scoty12C 6
You have beautiful eyes.
dawnydawny1221 0
hahaha !
changesinme 0
if he gotten a dish washer, he's in hell of a treat
CookieMonstr19 0
how is she a ***** they're dating each other. she's not a prostitute!
meowman13 5
.
ItsaMeLuigi 6
Truelad
muffpuncher 0
hell yea baby, get them knees dirty!!
ImaWiseGuy 5
motivation 101.....throw a bj in the mix.....
meme93148 0
I would so redirty those dishes so I could clean them again
jjstock 7
haha what goes around comes around
CaptHindsight 0
Is she gonna get a ******** too then?
WRvV 1
what goes around cums around?
Laughing_Cow 0
lol
humzizzl3 0
lol 34
eddieyes 0
lmfaoooo
eddieyes 0
lmfaooooo
ipoopeverywhere 0
ha! come... like cum(: o teenage jokes... never get old
Grand_Cookie 21
LOL!! That back fired!
kyanisaurus 0
and then it's gonna front fire three more times
Zelion 0
HA^
macca1234 1
just lol.
Cinn_fml 23
This is what you get when you trade your body for chores... I'm sure you could've found a better way to get your boyfriend to clean the dishes and for you to still put out in the bedroom.
alsafady 0
get real there is no better way to get him to so dishes haha
Cinn_fml 23
Fine, there is a more mature way to get him to do it. Or you know, she should've thought through any potential loopholes... :P
baileyw 0
shut up.
Cinn_fml 23
No.
mfmylifesrsly 30
^lmao
C6Racer 0
Your mom.
JHM81 0
Shut up ~ you would do it for free drinks at the bar.
loveisforever876 0
telling by your looks, it seems you don't get much, or have any experience. don't be jealous that she had a bf and you don't. wow people on here are arrogant.
Rico_Mal1116 0
Lol. ^^
RinaRina 9
i agree, no need to be a chores hooker, chores should be shared by both parts, and same with the sexual pleasures :) it should not be something to buy each others with
snafu63 0
If that's how you look you couldn't trade a ******* for a glass of water.
cguinn17 9
#219 If you're going to go about criticizing other's pics, you should at least have one of yourself.
freelove_fml 2
219 wtf is wrong with you? I'd wash a Fedex truck with a kitchen sponge for her. Go die in a hole hater.
Cinn_fml 23
snafu63, not everything depends on looks, but then you sound a little too shallow to get that. Now grow up and stop trying to make people feel bad over the internet, it just makes you look like a jerk.
MegamiKaosu 28
I rather, see it another way, it's like positive reinforcement. Do dishes, get reward.
BAMF18 0
negative #248. thats called trollin'. and if you have a problem with it, well, the massively huge Internet wasn't meant far ya, ugly
SpicyDuck 22
You must deprive him!!! Poor guy
wilsontws 18
awww~
drewskeeB 0
hell yeah!
Whiteboy518_fml 0
Haha
Chris1019 1
Hey spicyduck, respond if your up to meeting a good Canadian boy :)
BongSnapzz 0
I'm deprived. help me out. ;)
isaiahjacobie 0
CLASSIC!
Residence_fml 4
Yeah really, didn't see that coming? Be proud at your guy he's doing what you want, the damn dices. YDI
Nhk_fml 4
#7 see it Cumming :P
T1A2Z3 35
No no. She wanted cleaning not gambling.
persimmon 0
you're an idiot. time to pay up!!!
chomoma 0
agreed.
docscientist 10
I guess you should have him eat out more.
insanesna1l 0
pun intended?
docscientist 10
Most definitely.
mariazzz 5
lmao!!!
franceska 0
win.
franceska 0
win.
laurbear12 3
87 love your hair you are gorgeous :) no **** haha
Saidar_fml 3
suck it up!
caraisbeast 0
lawl xD
skadoosh52 0
literally ;D
witchdoctor1 9
I was going to say that. :D
raveypoo 4
literally..
Prolusive 5
Ha, good one! I knew there'd be a pun for this FML, I just couldn't think if it :D
Ratdaddy94 0
and swallow.
omarzrgz 3
Suck it up and swallow your pride?