Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I was on a conference call while in the bathroom with all the important people in my district. I thought my phone was on mute, so I took the opportunity to flush the toilet. Turns out, that my phone wasn't on mute, and everyone heard it. I'm the only one who was on the conference call outside of work. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
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Top comments
elisabeth1_fml 0
Anyone who says they haven't taken a call whilst on the loo is full of shit. Lmfao. Or maybe its just me
ChantelRenaeee 0
Hahah oh well. If he's your boyfriend he should understand you need to use the bathroom.
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Comments (146)
30STMlove 0
Poop on the phone? Or while on the phone?
saIty 17
Agh, if only you played music while taking a number two, and tried to synchronize your poop dropping with it. Your boyfriend would have been so impressed.
Vegeto30294 19
Then you would realize that you were listening to music on earphones
mariet_fml 23
"Hun, I'm really sorry but I need to call you back in five minutes." Ta da!
cnkk07 8
One more awkward moment to tell the future kiddies later on. :)
gntfmlingnow 12
Both. At the same time.
MrSassypants 34
This FML, including this pun, is shitty.
Wheredidgrungego 12
I'll call BS on this one. Everyone knows girls don't fart, poo, or burp. You obviously just made it up so you didn't have to talk to him.
MrSassypants 34
BS huh? Don't you mean GS as in girl shit? LOLOLOL (not that funny) If you did then your comment is very contradicting.
shenaniganry 3
B-but BS doesn't stand for Boy Shit?
shenaniganry 3
Jesus Christ, I finally got it. Sorry, man. BURY MY COMMENT FOREVER.
MrSassypants 34
I know I was being stupid. It's my speciality. I know it means bullshit.... or am I so stupid I don't even know that know this that this **** shit that this. Huh?
IgotDatCheese 0
Awkwardddd
iFizzgig 11
"oh really?" *farts* "what was that..."
Savra_fml 17
*sharts*
iFizzgig 11
>_>
lilly98ish 4
That stinks for you!