Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I was on a conference call while in the bathroom with all the important people in my district. I thought my phone was on mute, so I took the opportunity to flush the toilet. Turns out, that my phone wasn't on mute, and everyone heard it. I'm the only one who was on the conference call outside of work. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
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Top comments
elisabeth1_fml 0
Anyone who says they haven't taken a call whilst on the loo is full of shit. Lmfao. Or maybe its just me
ChantelRenaeee 0
Hahah oh well. If he's your boyfriend he should understand you need to use the bathroom.
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Comments (146)
Doccta 2
That's nasty...
42billybob 5
Should have just told him. Men don't get offended because nature calls, what we would take offense to is being led to believe something by someone we trust. Things like pretending you're listening, it robs us of our dignity. Frankly muting the phone to do something really heavily implies exactly that. It may not be what you actually mean by it, but the more you hide stuff the harder it is for him to trust you. Not saying what you did was really bad, but worse things have come out of the same approach to more important things.
grands138 4
True love is when you're comfortable enough to say, "I'll call you back. I gotta take a shit."
EvilDave 13
If he is your boyfriend, I don't see what the problem is. After all, everybody poops.
blondeybored 0
Wen u gotta shit, u gotta shit.
iFizzgig 11
Amen
mrlopez 13
So what happened in between plonks and splashes? (*_-)
WaylonD 4
YDI for "Pinching a loaf" while taking on the phone! Tell him you'll call him back next time!!
Okayitwasme 0
Great! Both of you are traumatized for life!
mbrooks5110 0
Oh idk ask him to cb in a few...
False_Stupidity 42
Your pic is so very appropriate to this FML.. I wonder if the OP needed a roll that size.
skyeyez9 25
bf: Well, we were then going into the OP: {plop splash plop splash} OP .......why did you stop telling your story? bf: are you pooping? OP: Umm no thats gross! Why would I {grunt} {plop} do that?