Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I was on a conference call while in the bathroom with all the important people in my district. I thought my phone was on mute, so I took the opportunity to flush the toilet. Turns out, that my phone wasn't on mute, and everyone heard it. I'm the only one who was on the conference call outside of work. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
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Top comments
elisabeth1_fml 0
Anyone who says they haven't taken a call whilst on the loo is full of shit. Lmfao. Or maybe its just me
ChantelRenaeee 0
Hahah oh well. If he's your boyfriend he should understand you need to use the bathroom.
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Comments (146)
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
OP is awesome... so what...he heard you... just hope you didn't try to cover it up with "no honey, I'm not taking a shit.. all those nasty sounds were... aaah... a gigantic queef!!
Hisfav1 6
He should understand these things....
HomeAl0ne 20
No, true love is when you say "I'll call you back when I've got to take a shit".
HomeAl0ne 20
Well, peeing in the shower while your partner is there is cool, but I hope you consider getting out if you feel the need to crap.
theroustons 6
Lol classic!!!
BuddyBoo1613 0
Well never make that mistake again will we. Hahaha
chels1994 11
*mmmmfff....* "damn this is a big one..." *plop* "ahhhhh...." ".....babe?"
rustytromboney 3
Everybody poops!
Sylvister 1
i always tell people if im in the restroom while on the phone, they laugh and i shit
RichardGalleos 2
that's ******* gross but funny at the same time