By Payte - 08/04/2011 05:31

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML
I agree, your life sucks 16 607
You deserved it 44 218

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"can I call you right back" works wonders!!

Shit. Sounds like the guy was dumping someone too.

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"can I call you right back" works wonders!!

I wonder why you would take the phone into the bathroom anyways!

"no. no you cannot."

Exactly.. I'll never understand why people keep someone on hold while they poop...

Well it's better than holding your poop.

he must be like what the fuck is going on !

I see what you did there

^ lmfao looks like you both got dumped

Someone please tell me why so many people comment "I see what you did there" .

People who comment "i see what you did there" are Douche bags. Like curls said they are attention whores. A simple lol would be enough. As for the OP. That must have been some nasty ass Explosive Diarrhea if the guy heard it.

Yea, YDI on that one. Though I wouldn't of dumped you, I'd just make fun of you every now and then and make it an inside joke... Unless it sounded really, really bad then I'd dump you. #

no. the real question is: why didn't he hang up the phone instead of listening.

one time my ex asked if he could take a shit while talking to me on the phone.....hens why he's my ex

Now your situation is extra shitty!:D

very witty my friend, I dont think he's not talking to you because he's disgusted, he's probably trying to top it! it takes concentration.

"hens" why huh? Could you mean "hence"?

no, I group of gens attacked her while her ex was taking a massive dump, HENCE why he's her ex... geez, use your brain

Ew what a turnoff. you're gross

Eeks, you kinda deserve it for not hanging up to do your business. Aside from the fact that it's rude to leave someone waiting on the phone for that long (since the average dump has got to take like at least 5 minutes...? Or perhaps you tried to rush it, hence the killer noises that didn't escape his ears...) boys aren't supposed to find out about girls' bodily functions until much later on in the relationship. LOL. ;)

brownie points for realizing that she's human too :)

Why would you take your phone in the bathroom?

More like, nappy business. What a nasty girl! Someone needs etiquette training.

seriously, Thats fuckin gross. girls shouldn't poop

I thunk he said that believing he's a lucky guy n that girls but holes r for his purpose rather than fecal matter but sure buddy well all just be full of shit

girl attack!!!! be careful men of the world, they are angry and are going to kill you for every macho joke you ever made RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIFES!!!!!

I got a boner from this

What the hell is everyone talking about?! Women don't fart or shit.

make things up is normally bad, but in this case LIE tell him it was something else, now what sounds like someone pooping...?

Uhh... Someone pooping? Someone taking a large dump has a very distinctive sound. Giving birth is the only thing I can think of that would be in the same sound category.

trying to open a vacuum sealed jar of pickles?? O.o

watching a youtube video of someone pooping. now you can choose between pooming on the phone or Scatophile.

Haha ohhh, ydi for not checking if he was on mute. That's hilarious though.

o_o you took the phone in the restroom and not only that but .. you were gonna put him on mute with it in the restroom :/ ? You must of been holding that in and of been in a hurry!

really its bad when some one out you in a waiting

I read that 3 times and I still have no clue what it said...

Shit. Sounds like the guy was dumping someone too.

lol ^^ you won my good sir

it doesn't 'look like', it happened! :(

wow I feel bad for the statue

SUCKS FOR YOU!!!!!!

SUCKS FOR YOU!!!!!!

I would be so embarrassed!! that sucks, you shouldve told him you would call him back.