Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I was on a conference call while in the bathroom with all the important people in my district. I thought my phone was on mute, so I took the opportunity to flush the toilet. Turns out, that my phone wasn't on mute, and everyone heard it. I'm the only one who was on the conference call outside of work. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
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Top comments
elisabeth1_fml 0
Anyone who says they haven't taken a call whilst on the loo is full of shit. Lmfao. Or maybe its just me
ChantelRenaeee 0
Hahah oh well. If he's your boyfriend he should understand you need to use the bathroom.
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Comments (146)
JOeL850 0
Lmao nice one
leadman1989 16
I must have a shy asshole because I couldn't take a shit while listening to someone.
RheannaFreese 1
Wow, couldn't have just called him back?
MasterEx 9
A not so wise man told me girls dont poop
skullcandifiedDJ 5
true love is when you and your boyfriend can take a shit together
callmecannon 1
Girls don't poop though? :/
bubo_fml 11
The phreaky bit is that he stopped the convo to sit there & listen 2 U shit...What a pervert!!
MeganCello 8
"Phreaky"? Really?!
floatguy 2
Was there fart noises too? LMAO THAT'S TOO FUNNY!!!!! best FML ive read today... I'm still laughing;)))))
fencer49 0
This is fake and gay because everybody knows girls don't poop.
SwtCherryPie 26
OMG you poop? that is soo appalling ... lol.. tell him to grow up pooping is something we all should be doing every day