Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus's new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I couldn't reach through my jeans. So I unzipped my pants to get to it, and that's when my boyfriend walked in on me with my hands down my pants. He thought I was getting off on the music video. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML
Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML
Today, I was taking a shower outside at my fiancé's beach house. I was struggling to take my bikini bottoms off, so I started to walk backwards to step out of it. Little did I know that I had pushed the door open. My fiancé, his family, and my family all saw me bend over naked. FML
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Top comments
Lisimal 7
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! YDI for even looking at that beaver face.
ladycoyote 0
You deserve it for voluntarily watching Miley Cyrus do anything.
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Comments (228)
nicole1123 0
ukiekid is right...vise versa does NOT mean "or." anyone who says it does is a douchebag and needs to go back to kindergarten.
Calaura9 0
So did the itch turn out to be herpes? It always does. Thank Miley!
Intoxicunt 6
Win.
nicole1123 0
@ #59 lol. ur completely right. disney is the reason so many people commit suicide. =)
elliekinslurvsya 0
YDI for watching Miley Cyrus.
iilovehaters 0
ok half of you guys who are calling miley ugly is BS...becuase you know god damn well youd **** her if you had the oppurtunity...and for the girls who are saying shes ugly to, well you know you would to :p SO STFU half of you people look worse then a "BEAVER" ******* trolls!
Pedestrian 0
And what planet are you from?
fmelanieslife 0
Are you kidding? Have you seen the same Miley as everyone else? She's got ****** up teeth, a weird ass nose, and is a total **** (have you seen the pictures of her in the shower?). Sure, she's kinda pretty when she puts on a lot of make up, and she's got a nice body I won't deny that... she's even got an alright singing voice when compared to the average person... but at the end of the day, I don't like her.
null_fml 11
Pictures of her in the shower?? -Brb, Googling
sexxcjess 0
if you really hate something, you ignore it. but you people really could start some sort of hate group and bomb stuff. sounds pretty appropriate considering how you use your free time
thingymajig 0
yes! #99, i worship shane dawson!
newbzoors 0
Her new song actually isnt terrible
c3ns0r3dn4m3 0
i agree with #1, #21, and #22 (: YDI
Your_Point 0
LOL XD. Thats just classic oh and YDI for liking Miley Bitch Cyrus