Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus's new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I couldn't reach through my jeans. So I unzipped my pants to get to it, and that's when my boyfriend walked in on me with my hands down my pants. He thought I was getting off on the music video. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML
Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML
Today, I was taking a shower outside at my fiancé's beach house. I was struggling to take my bikini bottoms off, so I started to walk backwards to step out of it. Little did I know that I had pushed the door open. My fiancé, his family, and my family all saw me bend over naked. FML
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Top comments
Lisimal 7
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! YDI for even looking at that beaver face.
ladycoyote 0
You deserve it for voluntarily watching Miley Cyrus do anything.
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Comments (228)
noshitsherlock 0
go wash yourself, geez.
omar13 0
Lol, you were jerking it to a minor! for shame! nah jokes. but seriously that is some funny shit!
gummibehrs 4
YDI for watching a miley cyrus video.
Spaceman_G 0
hell id help get her off while watchin miley, get it!
dvs01 0
Your life sucks because your boyfriend thinks that you were getting off to a video? What are you, mormons?
Very_Bunny_3563 0
if u willingly watch miley cyrus u deserve it. shes a bitch a ***** and a ho. i have no idea what NJ sees in her. YDI!
ThePhantomGamer 20
YDI. That's what you get for watching her.
brianjman14 23
ydi for listening to Miley cyrus
tally7mir 3
MIley Cyrus is a better role model than Demi Lovato! Demi cuts herself! I rlly dont care about either, I just had to let people know about that
emilyandenvy 0
#210, you're a complete dipshit. Demi lovato has a better voice than miley could EVER have even with synthesizers and all that fake shit and with extensive voice training.
tally7mir 3
I didn't know screaming and breathing were considered 'good'
youasshat 1
I don't care for Demi but I prefer her than that disease infested beaver carcass. At least she didn't post slutty pics on the Internet. maybe she cuts herself because she has to see Miley and listen to her retarded southern voice everyday?
tally7mir 3
Actually, Miley is a better role model, because Demi cant act or sing, and Miley is a great singer
katybean12 0
can you hear at all? miley's singing ******* sucks being a fourteen year old i tried listing to her music because my friends thing it is great but her songs are stupid and she sucks at singing have you watched her concert on tv she sounds like she is choking on something. and i get about demi she cant sing either but it seems to me that every person on disney shows like selena gomez and demi and a lot of other stars can sing. now isn't that weird. personally i think she cant sing and her dad made her famous so he can get back to being famous himself and she is probably going to be the next Britney spears but this is just my opinion and everyone has a different taste in music and celebrities.