Today, while I was in the shower, I noticed a short, black hair on my loofah. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, despite years of paranoid checking, I forgot to check my towel for spiders after my shower. Two crawled onto me, and I'm pretty sure there's one somewhere in my hair. FML
Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML
Today, I was in the shower and had just finished washing my face. When I put the soap down I noticed a curly, black hair stuck to it. I'm blond. The only other person who uses that bathroom is my uncle. I just rubbed my uncle's pubic hair all over my face. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, after a few days of getting what seemed like an odd, scattered rash every time I showered, I finally figured out the problem. It turns out I wasn't just allergic to all the different soap I tried. Apparently a family of very angry spiders have decided to make my loofah their new home. FML
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML
Today, I was expecting lizards, spiders, and weird local insects in my hotel room. What I got was a cockroach on my toothbrush. A very tiny cockroach. FML
Today, I have been finding long black hairs all over my bathroom. My hair is short and blonde, and I live alone. FML
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Top comments
MiddleChild08 0
Look at it this way...at least it was clean cockroach...
Whats_Love09 0
Im hoping you showered... again. Without the roach this time.
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Comments (129)
dspadres 0
So you rubbed your junk with a roach. Big deal. If you think that's the worst thing to ever make contact with it you're golden. And ydi for using a loofa. Be a man. Use sandpaper.
Witchcraft_fml 5
So that would make the roach a cockroach, right?
Pandasaur 0
I see what you did there. :D
doof_fisch 2
good one!
0___0 9
LMFAO. That's what I was thinking. I was waiting for "I found out it was a cockroach antenna. After I stuck it in my mouth. FML"
Lounia_fml 8
Not an FML buddy. Honestly, there are worse things in life? Did it kill you? I doubt it. Does it bite? No. How is your life ******?
Ryuu66 7
really if it killed him would it be on here no........ Almost none of these are FMLs because not a lot will **** up your life. But who the **** cares they are funny or gross or funny gross I enjoy them even if it is whining
Captain_Jello 0
you washed yourself with a roach.... LOL
ohhhhman 0
plexico, not everyone has crabs in their pubes...
redbluegreen 41
True. There's always their face.
redbluegreen 41
People just love to bitch. ^ ^ I love having little explosive rants. It's sadder when people read them.
stain33319 0
mistercoffee nailed it .,, where's the TICK
MrsDracoMalfoy 0
Even if you smashed it with your loofa it would still be alive. Oh, don't you LOVE roaches??
aguywithapanda 10
ydi for using a loofa
ajlardner 0
YDI for taking a shower