Loofah

By Peter Parker - 30/08/2016 23:19 - United States - Redlands

Today, after a few days of getting what seemed like an odd, scattered rash every time I showered, I finally figured out the problem. It turns out I wasn't just allergic to all the different soap I tried. Apparently a family of very angry spiders have decided to make my loofah their new home. FML
I agree, your life sucks 16 192
You deserved it 1 860

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I fail to see how a) you couldn't see a whole family of spiders living in your loofah and b) how the family of spiders lived through multiple sessions of you putting soap and water on the loofah and rubbing it vigorously all over your body.

Loofahman, Loofahman, does whatever a Loofah can.

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Loofahman, Loofahman, does whatever a Loofah can.

OP's name is hilarious

I fail to see how a) you couldn't see a whole family of spiders living in your loofah and b) how the family of spiders lived through multiple sessions of you putting soap and water on the loofah and rubbing it vigorously all over your body.

Thanks for the visual.

They're cockroach spiders. They can live through anything.

I shower without my contacts in so that could be OP's case too

Yeah none of this really makes sense and just seems fake. They'd be crawling everywhere when he got the sponge wet and impossible to not see, and probably would be dead or have left after their home after they became soapy, soaked and squished around through multiple showers. Though I could see how a baby spider nest might be made in a loofah and discovered once. Like the myth that spiders are stupid enough to crawl into your mouth at night, there's a myth that every random red mark might be a spider bite. The reality is that spiders want to avoid people and it's very rare for them to bite humans, most "spider bites" are from other insects. It doesn't make sense for a bunch of baby spiders to come out and attack someone, they'd be too busy running for their lives anyway.

Umm thank you!! The exact two thoughts that I had while reading this post!!

The hood never dies.

Sorry OP but I agree with #3. My family and I live in an old home with spiders who try to consume our garage. I normally hose them suckers down and they hall ass with their babies!! The few that survive the power of my hose,I am the "Spider Annihilator!"

That's why you get a light colored loofah. Sorry OP that sucks

Time for a new loofah. Go to the store. Your Spidey senses should be tingling when you get close to the perfect one.

Oh gods. I'm pretty chill with bugs, but oh gods. *shudder*

If spiders are making a living in your house (not just wandering in), you probably have other bug problems. Start by looking for water leaks and mold. That's the base of the food chain that leads to spiders in your loofah.

they arn't angry there just are hungry

They're probably angry now that OP has repeatedly attempted to drown/squash them.

didn't think of the after affects

Maybe you got crabs?