Loofah

By Peter Parker - 30/08/2016 23:19 - United States - Redlands

Today, after a few days of getting what seemed like an odd, scattered rash every time I showered, I finally figured out the problem. It turns out I wasn't just allergic to all the different soap I tried. Apparently a family of very angry spiders have decided to make my loofah their new home. FML
I agree, your life sucks 16 260
You deserved it 1 882

Same thing different taste

Top comments

hellobobismyname 24

I fail to see how a) you couldn't see a whole family of spiders living in your loofah and b) how the family of spiders lived through multiple sessions of you putting soap and water on the loofah and rubbing it vigorously all over your body.

Loofahman, Loofahman, does whatever a Loofah can.

Comments

Loofahman, Loofahman, does whatever a Loofah can.

hellobobismyname 24

I fail to see how a) you couldn't see a whole family of spiders living in your loofah and b) how the family of spiders lived through multiple sessions of you putting soap and water on the loofah and rubbing it vigorously all over your body.

They're cockroach spiders. They can live through anything.

I shower without my contacts in so that could be OP's case too

Yeah none of this really makes sense and just seems fake. They'd be crawling everywhere when he got the sponge wet and impossible to not see, and probably would be dead or have left after their home after they became soapy, soaked and squished around through multiple showers. Though I could see how a baby spider nest might be made in a loofah and discovered once. Like the myth that spiders are stupid enough to crawl into your mouth at night, there's a myth that every random red mark might be a spider bite. The reality is that spiders want to avoid people and it's very rare for them to bite humans, most "spider bites" are from other insects. It doesn't make sense for a bunch of baby spiders to come out and attack someone, they'd be too busy running for their lives anyway.

Meg6689 6

Umm thank you!! The exact two thoughts that I had while reading this post!!

Sorry OP but I agree with #3. My family and I live in an old home with spiders who try to consume our garage. I normally hose them suckers down and they hall ass with their babies!! The few that survive the power of my hose,I am the "Spider Annihilator!"

Cow_Girl_Lilly 24

That's why you get a light colored loofah. Sorry OP that sucks

nicole1765 14

Time for a new loofah. Go to the store. Your Spidey senses should be tingling when you get close to the perfect one.

mermaidgirle 12

Oh gods. I'm pretty chill with bugs, but oh gods. *shudder*

If spiders are making a living in your house (not just wandering in), you probably have other bug problems. Start by looking for water leaks and mold. That's the base of the food chain that leads to spiders in your loofah.

They're probably angry now that OP has repeatedly attempted to drown/squash them.