By anonymous - 02/09/2012 22:31 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 478
You deserved it 7 363

Same thing different taste

Top comments

flockz 19

did you spoon her when you got back to her place? or was the vomit too much of a turn off?


Yea don't feel bad, just remember, BITCHES BE CRAZY!

33 Stop, no one liked it first time around. And op I'm quite curious how one could look like a spork on legs.

67-maybe OP has a fat head and spiky hair?

Haha that actually makes sense nevermind

TylerAnderson98 10

Maybe he had a round face and spiky hair ?

tjv3 10

That made me throw up a little in my mouth thanks OP

Clearly OP is Lisa Simpson's doppelganger. Or she's actually part seagull and regurgitating part of her meal for you was meant as a nuptial gift. (Seriously, FYL, but now you know what to expect picking up easy drunk girls at clubs.)

flockz 19

did you spoon her when you got back to her place? or was the vomit too much of a turn off?

Aug1508 9

Well OP deserves it for kissing a stranger.

hopsinlove17 26

Dont we all at some point in our life? Chill out a little bit and have fun(:

Aug1508 9

I am chill. How can you tell I'm not chill thought text, stop taking things so serious.

Psych101 9

41- We can tell you're not chill because you said someone deserves to have someone throw up in his mouth for kissing a stranger.

I think it's cute that you are engaged. I am too with my boyfriend of one year, but it's nothing legitimate.

17, engaged, and smokes weed. I think we have a bad ass over. Wait, I've already posted this on one of your threads. Oh well. It's still uncreative and you should stop commenting all and all.

61- How do you engage someone and it not be legitimate?

Not to sound unprofessional but I'm guessing it's because she's a... Very active girl? Ah screw it. Shes a *****.

Laurenlou 24

Who cares if someone is 17 and engaged? If two people are happy and not harming one another physically or emotionally, it shouldn't matter what age they are and if they are engaged or not.

At 17 years old, I believe one has much maturity that still has not been obtained. Everyone is immature at age 17, no matter what. But what can I say. I'm only 12.

guckylynn 19

Ah 61... I too thought I was so in love with my boyfriend I'd marry him at 15, but at that young of an age, you barely even know yourself. A year is nothing, don't take things too seriously too quickly! Just enjoy being young while you are. (Yes all, I'm aware I'm still young myself at 24)

Honestly, that kind of sounds like the type of crap a teen girl would do. Get sucked into pointless relationships and then make some random incoherent commitments that end up getting their selves grounded with their parents and having a sudden loss of virginity.

I don't see what's wrong with it. It's an engagement. That means her fiancé is committed to her. It doesn't mean that she'll get married at 17.

Oh excuse me. I was under the impression that being engaged meant that one was on their way to marriage with their "loved" one. I may be wrong tho. To Google!

It does. Have you ever heard of a long engagement, Mr. Smart Ass? Google that one. Like I said, there's nothing wrong with an engagement. She could be in her 20's when they actually decide to have a wedding.

Engagement- a pledge; an obligation or agreement: All his time seems to be taken up with social engagements.

At 17 years old, there obviously isn't a problem with with making a rather small agreement like, oh I don't know, marriage?

Why did 3's comment get thumbed down when number 4's comment got thumbed up for saying almost exactly the same thing?

Read that definition. It's an agreement. No where does it say that anyone has to get married right away.

devandanae 11

A ring doesn't plug a hole who says that they are actually committed. Saying something is one thing but actually doing it is a whole different concept.

I agree with 75 and most all others for that matter.

Were you under the impression that I thought you had to be married that same day. I hope you weren't you silly goose because that's complete bullshit!

115. I'm sorry but when's the last time you saw somebody get engaged at 17 and get married at 34. Oh you have? Well this is awkward.

118- Obviously he is committed if he proposed. Why would he if he wasn't serious? 115- Where does it say I thought that? Please show me? What I said was, she doesn't have to get married at 17. She can get married whenever she wants. No, I don't know anyone who was engaged at 17 then got married at 34. That doesn't make it impossible.

Thank you 129!! Just because you are engaged at a certain age does NOT mean you have to get married at that same age.

Jesus Christ. I didn't say you had to be married within the first 2 months of your engagement. I need to go over my comments and see if the mods got to me.

Thank you mods, for answering my prayer. I'll be thinking about you tonight, Sirin.

Why did this get so many down votes and the one right below yours says basically the same thing but got like 60 up votes???

iXTMAstro 6

Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks

lol. for those of you who don't know, this is based off of a previous FML about a loud-mouthed 15 year-old who ruined his dad's chance of promotion. I you don't get it then don't call it sexist or anything. just wanted to put that out there.

icrest80 4

^its actually a dr dre reference

^^ my bad, im not much of a rap guy (#^.^#)

It's actually quite feasibly either one.

SystemofaBlink41 27

Wow.. That will put a nasty taste in your mouth lol

I had no idea that would... Thanks for enlightening me!

I'd like to put some taste in your mouth

lilmisslovely13 15
justonecomment 2

Probably going to get thumbed down for this; but I feel the need to explain that 6 was using an idiom. It's a common expression for somebody who leaves you with a bad impression. I actually thought out was pretty funny because it was a double entendre.

legal371 5

I think I actually understood that lol

Did you spork her after that?? * wink wink cough cough *

LiterOfCola 16

Actually I think he knifed her

Best part is now you know why to not take drugs, alochol, and smoking :)

I have no idea what alochol is. I'll make sure I don't ever 'take' it. *drinks vodka*

fight4rocknroll 0

I'll pass on the smoking. The rest sound ok.

Oops, it was meant to be a question. I was highlighting how you can't take smoking, though, it made me look pro-smoking after all.