Today, while I was cutting myself some watermelon, my mom walked in. I could tell she hadn't taken her medication in a while because she freaked out, grabbed the knife, and burst into tears before yelling at me, saying I could have cut myself and bled out. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML
Today, I was cutting potatoes. I was cutting them slowly, being careful, but my mom told me to cut faster, that I wouldn't cut myself. I cut myself. FML
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML
Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML
Today, I fell in the shower and knocked myself out. When I came to I turned off the water and called my mom. She seemed more worried about the amount of water I "wasted" than she was about me. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML
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Top comments
invadermaythe1st 35
What does she do when you carve pumpkins?
Thatissarcastic 17
Extreme sports edition: watermelon cutting
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Comments (49)
Tripartita 45
I can relate; I often try to dissuade people from using knives by crying. I also try to warn people not to catch the president on fire by thinking too hard. It's tough work.
nerdychicreader 15
that's.... kind of intense...
CharlieM78 9
That sucks it's really rough dealing with someone who has a mental issue and is off their meds. It can be emotionally taxing good luck to you.
writergirl1029 17
It sounds like she has OCD. I had similar symptoms before I started my medication. F your mom's life, mostly, but that can't be easy for you to deal with.
SystemofaBlink41 27
Anyone else got scared for a moment when they read the beginning of the first line?
romeonsingcross 15
Reminds me of the one that began with "Today, I was savagely beating my wife..."
Richard6036 13
Sounds like your mom has some real issues may be a mental hospital would be a good place to go
laden_swallow09 35
She's taking medication. Sounds like she already has at one point.
PhoenixChick 26
The problem is she ISN'T taking her meds. Hard to force people to, sadly
ohSNAPyall 27
No knives required. Grab a sledgehammer and go Gallagher all over her kitchen.
Wolfipoo 31
Sorry that had to happen Op, and did anyone else miss the second "have" in this FML?
Rintarok5 29
If she has a mental illness, its not her fault, she can't control it. Just make sure she takes her meds and don't be mad at her for her behavior.
americanafrican 32
use a butter knife next time. much harder to cut yourself
klutz44 28
Also much harder to cut watermelon with a butter knife