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By jibberish - 22/11/2009 00:15 - United States
Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks
15634
You deserved it
38849
Miscellaneous

Dad jokes, part 43884

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

Time for the ER

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By  allmidnighteyes  |  10

YDI for hooking up with a Twilight fan.

Stupid fucking misogynistic shit like that should NEVER be passed off as actual literature.
The whole series can pretty much summed up with, "EDWARD CULLEN WAS SO HAWT I CAME GLITTER"


I wish I could be a deranged mormon housewife so I could make millions off a book series - based off creepy sexual fantasies for a sparkling douchenozzle - that glorifies/romanticizes shallow relationships based on lust, stalking, and werewolves falling in love with baby children.

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  DameGreyWulf  |  0

No need to lie. Many couples nibble, and I find it hot too.
The FML is that she's just a drunken slag who thinks she's a vampire, and he's the drunken slag who slept with her.

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  cactus_fml  |  0

I doubt the Twilight craze has anything to do with it. People bite and scratch during sex, especially if it's drunken and rough. I'm tempted to say that this is made up in order to perpetuate all the buzz or hating on the series, but I hate when people cry fake.

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  TooBored13  |  0

Wait, so if my gf both bites me and scratches me that means . . . SHE IS SOME KIND OF CRAZY VAMPIRE/WEREWOLF HYBRID!!!!! Quick, get the silver stakes, we have a monster to destroy.

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By  allmidnighteyes  |  10

YDI for hooking up with a Twilight fan.

Stupid fucking misogynistic shit like that should NEVER be passed off as actual literature.
The whole series can pretty much summed up with, "EDWARD CULLEN WAS SO HAWT I CAME GLITTER"


I wish I could be a deranged mormon housewife so I could make millions off a book series - based off creepy sexual fantasies for a sparkling douchenozzle - that glorifies/romanticizes shallow relationships based on lust, stalking, and werewolves falling in love with baby children.

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  katius_fml  |  2

I don't think it's trying to be passed off as literature, I think it's an entertaining story written for teenage girls. Some people enjoy a little escapism once in awhile. It's badly written and kind of silly but I still get a kick out of it. Who cares.

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  posampo  |  0

best line in the pathetic excuse for a book, right after he basically shouts at bella that hes a vampire,
"I knew one thing, edward was a vampire"

its like comedy for freaking retards

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  lifeislife_fml  |  0

#61, you can read the first book, Wikipedia the rest of the series, and STILL accurately portray them.

And it's funny how Twitards say to read the books before forming an opinion, and then they take that back when they realize that we still think it sucks.

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  DameGreyWulf  |  0

Dictionary: lit·er·a·ture (lĭt'ər-ə-chʊr', -chər)
2.Imaginative or creative writing, especially of recognized artistic value
3.The art or occupation of a literary writer.
5.Printed material

Try again folks. If it's a book, it's literature, and it's a shitty excuse for it, too.
Shitty excuse for entertainment as well.

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  happypenguin7293  |  0

um ok why would this guy go through the trouble of reading everything on wiki about the twilight series if he hated it that much I love this fuckin comment but I agree with 61 it was exactly what I was thinking

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  gigi37  |  0

Haha.

If only this ( http://g4tv.com/videos/41784/Kevin-Pereira--Olivia-Munns-Twilight-Spoof/ ) had happened before all the commotion, it could have prevented the disease.

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