By jibberish - 22/11/2009 00:15 - United States

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks 15 670
You deserved it 38 918

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YDI for hooking up with a Twilight fan. Stupid fucking misogynistic shit like that should NEVER be passed off as actual literature. The whole series can pretty much summed up with, "EDWARD CULLEN WAS SO HAWT I CAME GLITTER" I wish I could be a deranged mormon housewife so I could make millions off a book series - based off creepy sexual fantasies for a sparkling douchenozzle - that glorifies/romanticizes shallow relationships based on lust, stalking, and werewolves falling in love with baby children.

you deserve it for not being turned off by a girl into "Twatlight"

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Not going to lie, that actually sounds really hot.

No need to lie. Many couples nibble, and I find it hot too. The FML is that she's just a drunken slag who thinks she's a vampire, and he's the drunken slag who slept with her.

Unless you got rabies or an STD I see no FML.

There is a fine line between nibble and having a meal.

But what if she was hungry? Gotta feed that insatiable blood thirst!

But Edward doesn't bite people.

I doubt the Twilight craze has anything to do with it. People bite and scratch during sex, especially if it's drunken and rough. I'm tempted to say that this is made up in order to perpetuate all the buzz or hating on the series, but I hate when people cry fake.

not an FML freakin hott tho, can i have her #

Edward sucks full stop. Anybody trying to be like Edward or thinks Edward is real needs a life.

Twilight is despicable. Not to mention extremely odd. If you want hood vampire stories read the Vladimir Tod series by Heather Brewer. 'Nuff said.

I do t like twilight but I still bite it's not an fml

ryguy- I read that series :D It was pretty amazing

howd did this not wake you up...

He wasn't asleep she bit him during sex

you deserve it for not being turned off by a girl into "Twatlight"

I think he's upset since he's on "Team Jacob."

So he would prefer to be scratched obviously!

Yeah, I'm pretty sure you could have shortened this to "Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really in to Twilight. FML"

"Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was on Team Edward. FML" seems more appropriate to me.

Wait, so if my gf both bites me and scratches me that means . . . SHE IS SOME KIND OF CRAZY VAMPIRE/WEREWOLF HYBRID!!!!! Quick, get the silver stakes, we have a monster to destroy.

You expect us to pity you? [email protected]

YDI for hooking up with a Twilight fan. Stupid fucking misogynistic shit like that should NEVER be passed off as actual literature. The whole series can pretty much summed up with, "EDWARD CULLEN WAS SO HAWT I CAME GLITTER" I wish I could be a deranged mormon housewife so I could make millions off a book series - based off creepy sexual fantasies for a sparkling douchenozzle - that glorifies/romanticizes shallow relationships based on lust, stalking, and werewolves falling in love with baby children.

Wow...this comment was awesome. I'm not being sarcastic lol

I don't think it's trying to be passed off as literature, I think it's an entertaining story written for teenage girls. Some people enjoy a little escapism once in awhile. It's badly written and kind of silly but I still get a kick out of it. Who cares.

While I agree with #6, I have to say that the writing is poor to the point of humour. Read a chapter, the book is fucking hilarious.

best line in the pathetic excuse for a book, right after he basically shouts at bella that hes a vampire, "I knew one thing, edward was a vampire" its like comedy for freaking retards

Well, it's kinda obvious that twilight readers would need the extra confirmation.

I like the fact that this person has obviously read all the books

OMG i think i love you

Why must everyone be so freaking awful to the Twilight series? If you don't like it, don't freaking read it. Leave all us Twi-Hards ALONE!

To answer you're question #65, it's because Twilight is terrible. And to point out you're spelling mistake, it's actually Twi-TARDS.

#61, you can read the first book, Wikipedia the rest of the series, and STILL accurately portray them. And it's funny how Twitards say to read the books before forming an opinion, and then they take that back when they realize that we still think it sucks.

Dictionary: lit·er·a·ture (lĭt'ər-ə-chʊr', -chər) 2.Imaginative or creative writing, especially of recognized artistic value 3.The art or occupation of a literary writer. 5.Printed material Try again folks. If it's a book, it's literature, and it's a shitty excuse for it, too. Shitty excuse for entertainment as well.

is it possible to favourite comments? This is one that I would certainly favourite.

#6, u, sir, are made of win

um ok why would this guy go through the trouble of reading everything on wiki about the twilight series if he hated it that much I love this fuckin comment but I agree with 61 it was exactly what I was thinking

theres nothing wrong with a little biting... =)

Twilight should have been your que to go. Those girls are insane...I bet your dick is covered in glitter.

The real FML is that you hooked up with a Twitard. A little biting isn't so bad.

http://www.cracked.com/funny-36-twilight/

lol.. oh cracked.com

Haha. If only this ( http://g4tv.com/videos/41784/Kevin-Pereira--Olivia-Munns-Twilight-Spoof/ ) had happened before all the commotion, it could have prevented the disease.

I think it was a little more than just biting if it left noticeable marks that were still present the following morning.

Hickeys are hot, ok? :P

That depends. A good one lasts for days!