Intimacy: Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled...

By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 14:03 - United States

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach it. She stopped and congratulated it, and I took the chance to move it to the other room to prevent further distraction. She got mad and wouldn't let me back in bed because I just "untrained it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 467

You deserved it 7 695

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Same thing different taste

By Moanie - 15/03/2009 22:45 - United States

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 354

You deserved it 29 505

By sexual parrot - 21/04/2014 18:42

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 636

You deserved it 16 114

By Anonymous - 12/03/2013 04:43 - United States

Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 181

You deserved it 9 259

By Anonymous - 09/06/2016 19:39 - Germany - Munich

Today, I have to look after my best friend's parrot for a few days. One minute out of the room, I came back in to find out that the parrot had taught my three-year-old the word "slut". Now the two won't stop screaming "slut" throughout the whole house. My wife thinks both learned the word from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 219

You deserved it 1 145

By facepalm - 15/10/2014 23:36 - United States - Gainesville

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 411

You deserved it 4 384

Anger issues

By Flash - 25/07/2021 17:31 - India - Bangalore

Today, I found out why my girlfriend has been angry with me ever since I moved in with her. Apparently, she is pissed that I taught her cat how to play fetch and keep treating him like a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 142

By In urgent need of a new roommate - 26/03/2014 23:44 - United States - West Linn

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 542

You deserved it 3 365

By ByeByeBirdie - 29/06/2016 22:41 - United States - Montgomery

Today, I'd had enough of the annoying bird constantly singing in the shrillest bird voice possible outside of my window, so I chased it around the yard, shooing it away, as my cat sat there and watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 741

You deserved it 1 809

By ShiddyDiddy - 26/06/2019 04:39

Today, my girlfriend's obsession with her bird reached a new level when she wrote him a song specifically for after he poops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 536

You deserved it 195

By Olive14 - 15/12/2010 06:15

Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 078

You deserved it 7 339

DjeePee 24

Wednesday 13 October 2010 19:17

You obviously don't know how hard it is to train a bird. Neither do I, but still I guess it's more difficult than having sex.

alexFYL 11

Wednesday 13 October 2010 20:57

It's her bird, not yours. So why'd you even move it anyway? Totally unnecessary. Just pick up where you left off and keep going. Gives your little man a breather anyway so he can calm down and go the distance. Also while training animals or children, you don't separate them from you when they're doing something you want to encourage - that's what you do when you want them to knock it off. Whining, screaming, barking... you ignore and leave the room. That's essentially what you did.

Comments

RKD 23

Monday 25 October 2010 21:07

I don't think she has anything to worry about, I don't think that parrots can be "untrained"-once they know a tune, they always know it and there is nothing you can do, that is why you have to be careful not to cuss around them!

hectormora21 3

Monday 15 November 2010 7:02

NOT EVEN GONNA LIE!!! thats freakin hilarious!! if i was you i would laugh and cry at the same time

ADDictedToPS3 0

Thursday 3 May 2012 20:41

Lol u got cockblocked by a bird!

pieman1234 4

Saturday 13 October 2012 16:44

**** blocked by a bird. I know the feel man

Steve_Dudley_UK 10

Wednesday 10 June 2015 11:08

First rule to get sex is to keep your bird happy.

carbonbasedcynic 17

Thursday 22 October 2015 21:26

yall crazy

lucasj23 11

Wednesday 2 May 2018 6:50

I'm assuming you were at her house. and since it was her bird you had no right to move it anywhere. you need to chill out. sometimes things happen during sex. learn to laugh about it.