Intimacy: Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled...

By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 14:03 - United States

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach it. She stopped and congratulated it, and I took the chance to move it to the other room to prevent further distraction. She got mad and wouldn't let me back in bed because I just "untrained it." FML

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You deserved it 7 715

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Same thing different taste

By Moanie - 15/03/2009 22:45 - United States

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

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You deserved it 29 528

By sexual parrot - 21/04/2014 18:42

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 674

You deserved it 16 128

By Anonymous - 12/03/2013 04:43 - United States

Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 210

You deserved it 9 281

By Anonymous - 09/06/2016 19:39 - Germany - Munich

Today, I have to look after my best friend's parrot for a few days. One minute out of the room, I came back in to find out that the parrot had taught my three-year-old the word "slut". Now the two won't stop screaming "slut" throughout the whole house. My wife thinks both learned the word from me. FML

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You deserved it 1 159

Freedom!

By Anonymous - 27/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML

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You deserved it 533

By facepalm - 15/10/2014 23:36 - United States - Gainesville

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 444

You deserved it 4 389

Anger issues

By Flash - 25/07/2021 17:31 - India - Bangalore

Today, I found out why my girlfriend has been angry with me ever since I moved in with her. Apparently, she is pissed that I taught her cat how to play fetch and keep treating him like a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 182

By In urgent need of a new roommate - 26/03/2014 23:44 - United States - West Linn

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 569

You deserved it 3 369

By ByeByeBirdie - 29/06/2016 22:41 - United States - Montgomery

Today, I'd had enough of the annoying bird constantly singing in the shrillest bird voice possible outside of my window, so I chased it around the yard, shooing it away, as my cat sat there and watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 758

You deserved it 1 821

By ShiddyDiddy - 26/06/2019 04:39

Today, my girlfriend's obsession with her bird reached a new level when she wrote him a song specifically for after he poops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 204

DjeePee 24

Wednesday 13 October 2010 19:17

You obviously don't know how hard it is to train a bird. Neither do I, but still I guess it's more difficult than having sex.

alexFYL 11

Wednesday 13 October 2010 20:57

It's her bird, not yours. So why'd you even move it anyway? Totally unnecessary. Just pick up where you left off and keep going. Gives your little man a breather anyway so he can calm down and go the distance. Also while training animals or children, you don't separate them from you when they're doing something you want to encourage - that's what you do when you want them to knock it off. Whining, screaming, barking... you ignore and leave the room. That's essentially what you did.

Comments

kellykerplunkk 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 4:10

hahahaha, what a tit she was!

elmorous 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 4:42

you have sex in front of animals ... i hope somebody's pet baboon gives you the anal fisting you deserve

Kitchendancer 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 4:58

If she was mad at you immediately after you moved the bird - I'm sure she also told you not to do it *while* you were moving the bird, which you obviously ignored. Did you really expect that she'd just just hop right back on to finish up after that?

skyeyez9 24

Thursday 14 October 2010 5:40

But it would be funny if the bird started mimicking your sex sounds.

skyeyez9 24

Thursday 14 October 2010 5:44

My best friend has an african grey parrot that mimicks the sound of her son crying, screaming and laughing. And it mimicks the sound of her grandpa's smokers cough.