Animals: Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window....

By Olive14 - 15/12/2010 06:15

Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 073

You deserved it 7 335

Animals

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Same thing different taste

By craphanded - 19/07/2011 17:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 780

You deserved it 9 197

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 886

You deserved it 3 630

By TehUglyLife - 29/07/2013 19:11 - United States - Jacksonville Beach

Today, I tried to help a bird who had broken his wing. I walked straight into a door while looking down at him in my hands, and ended up all but breaking his other wing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 898

You deserved it 14 158

By Anonymous - 23/09/2012 11:11 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 353

You deserved it 2 568

By birdhater - 15/10/2009 06:16 - Australia

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 856

You deserved it 2 661

By Anonymous - 16/11/2018 13:30

Today, I was asleep in my back garden and woke up when a bird landed on my hat and took a big shit right in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 930

You deserved it 465

Clever

By FMLTIMESTWO - 10/06/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 552

You deserved it 61 952

By tristaph - 01/08/2018 00:00

Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 365

You deserved it 180

By Keaton - 15/06/2010 16:58 - United States

Today, I got a bird as a pet. I thought it would be funny to put it on my head and take a picture. When the flash went off the bird flew off my head and pooped at the same time. You could see it in the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 358

You deserved it 44 956

By ByeByeBirdie - 29/06/2016 22:41 - United States - Montgomery

Today, I'd had enough of the annoying bird constantly singing in the shrillest bird voice possible outside of my window, so I chased it around the yard, shooing it away, as my cat sat there and watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 736

You deserved it 1 805

Doortje 29

Wednesday 15 December 2010 16:13

Yay, the poor thing DID make it :D

dsypher 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 16:14

Aight Tarzan, when birds come in you hit them bitches with brooms

Comments

CommieKel 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 16:05

FYL and first!

Doortje 29

Wednesday 15 December 2010 16:13

Yay, the poor thing DID make it :D

Ninjafriends 1

Wednesday 15 December 2010 17:57

Exactly!

ThoraxeTheImpale_fml 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 0:42

Holy crap it flew into OPs neck!? is it a ghost bird!?

PplMakeMistakes 2

Friday 17 December 2010 5:26

few! :)

dsypher 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 16:14

Aight Tarzan, when birds come in you hit them bitches with brooms

renvy 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 14:46

Lmao.

amerwin 3

Wednesday 15 December 2010 16:18

Attempting to copulate doesn't count as caring.

taytay6510 6

Wednesday 15 December 2010 16:27

whoop, bird is getting revenge on you for the window incident ;)

itsbuckyb 6

Wednesday 15 December 2010 16:43

ol shitty boy

perdix 29

Wednesday 15 December 2010 16:45

So, if a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, then the bushes must have twice as much birdshit. QED.

Trollz4daLULZ 1

Wednesday 15 December 2010 17:24

But guano = bat shit, and bats are mammals. A bird in the house has no bat equivalent, so the guano is irrelevant. Unless you're making cupcakes, of course!