Animals: Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window....

By Olive14 - 15/12/2010 06:15

Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 087

You deserved it 7 345

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By craphanded - 19/07/2011 17:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 789

You deserved it 9 202

Freedom!

By Anonymous - 27/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 514

Clever

By FMLTIMESTWO - 10/06/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 558

You deserved it 61 972

By TehUglyLife - 29/07/2013 19:11 - United States - Jacksonville Beach

Today, I tried to help a bird who had broken his wing. I walked straight into a door while looking down at him in my hands, and ended up all but breaking his other wing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 908

You deserved it 14 200

By birdhater - 15/10/2009 06:16 - Australia

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 867

You deserved it 2 667

Flash, ah ah!

By Dumb, Dumber, and Dumberer - 12/10/2022 20:00

Today, a bird ran into my window. My overzealous cat ran at it like the Flash and smashed his face in the window. He yelped and ran away, then as I was running to see if he was OK, I slammed my face in the door jamb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 272

By Mr.P - 21/10/2011 15:35 - United States

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 225

You deserved it 3 267

By Anonymous - 27/10/2010 16:17 - United States

Today, a hummingbird somehow got into my house. I spent two and a half hours trying to get it out after finally using a blanket to catch it. I run outside to release it from my hands, and it flew back into my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 374

You deserved it 6 358

By Anonymous - 16/11/2018 13:30

Today, I was asleep in my back garden and woke up when a bird landed on my hat and took a big shit right in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 936

You deserved it 474

New creepypasta just dropped

By Anonymous - 20/12/2022 21:00 - Australia

Today, I was sick in bed with a nasty flu. It was also the day my bird was eaten by an animal that had silently burrowed into the cage while I was recovering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 136

Doortje 29

Wednesday 15 December 2010 16:13

Yay, the poor thing DID make it :D

dsypher 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 16:14

Aight Tarzan, when birds come in you hit them bitches with brooms

Comments

CommieKel 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 16:05

FYL and first!

Doortje 29

Wednesday 15 December 2010 16:13

Yay, the poor thing DID make it :D

Ninjafriends 1

Wednesday 15 December 2010 17:57

Exactly!

ThoraxeTheImpale_fml 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 0:42

Holy crap it flew into OPs neck!? is it a ghost bird!?

PplMakeMistakes 2

Friday 17 December 2010 5:26

few! :)

dsypher 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 16:14

Aight Tarzan, when birds come in you hit them bitches with brooms

renvy 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 14:46

Lmao.

amerwin 3

Wednesday 15 December 2010 16:18

Attempting to copulate doesn't count as caring.

taytay6510 6

Wednesday 15 December 2010 16:27

whoop, bird is getting revenge on you for the window incident ;)

itsbuckyb 6

Wednesday 15 December 2010 16:43

ol shitty boy

perdix 29

Wednesday 15 December 2010 16:45

So, if a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, then the bushes must have twice as much birdshit. QED.

Trollz4daLULZ 1

Wednesday 15 December 2010 17:24

But guano = bat shit, and bats are mammals. A bird in the house has no bat equivalent, so the guano is irrelevant. Unless you're making cupcakes, of course!