By In urgent need of a new roommate - 26/03/2014 23:44 - United States - West Linn

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 471
You deserved it 3 356

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Tell him okay but when you move out you expect half the bird.

Hopefully you toucan settle this situation without it getting anymore hawkward than it already is.

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Tell him okay but when you move out you expect half the bird.

acerredrum we meet again

Half the bird is fine, but what are you doing with the other half?

Haha I like this. Btw OP your roommate is a dumbass

Don't worry, 5-6 years you will get used to it.

I'm ok with half the expense of taking care of the bird. As long as it's for getting it stuffed. No more screeching.

In the meantime they can train it to get out of its cage and shit on their roommates stuff. It will earn it's keep.

Just say no for the love of God! Tell her to take the bird back, she is sharing a room with you!

The gender is not specified.

#58- Does it really matter?

Bigfabthetruth52 22

I'd teach the parrot to say something super annoying to them yet hilarious to me.

How is getting another pet gonna solve anything here? Unless the cat eats the parrot I guess, but still. Cats are assholes. ._.

That was the point of the comment.

Make sure it's an expensive pure breed op, and demand half of all costs including its purchase while you're at it.

Better yet, get a new roommate.

Then make your old roommate pay for half of the utilities your new roommate uses.

Or just let it out through the window.

Or just turn the parrot against your roommate

No that would be horrible. That parrot has most likely lived its whole life in a cage and won't know how to survive and find food outside.

You do realise domesticated animals still have basic inherited desires to scourge food.

Scrounge is the word you were looking for. Also, if a pet is raised to await a feeding, that is how it will behave unless trained otherwise.

Yes 72 my husky shows it every night when he tries to counter surf. Yet he only does it when there is competition for resources, a foster dog in the home.

Dude you gotta stand up. Just say no, and make him take it back.

Threaten to eat the bird if he/she does'nt return it. Usually works.

Well, eat your half. Can't be greedy when splitting the expenses

'Usually works'?! What the hell did you do?

Buy a falcon. Falcon will take care of that bitch ass parrot.

Hire captain Falcon and he'll kill that bitch ass parrot with a Falcon Punch!

Hopefully you toucan settle this situation without it getting anymore hawkward than it already is.

I'd expect a seagull to this FML in that case. Get it? seagull/ sequel ? nobody? Ok

xivoricbutterfly 25

Get a cat. Cat eats parrot = sleep.