I'm alive because they didn't pay the stork enough to drop me.

#1, no, I was planned, and only regretted years later. I was a good baby and it's been downhill ever since.

That doesn't make sense...go sit in the corner.

What do you call a guy that buys his condoms at a discount store? DAD!!!!!!!

That's a lesson to all of you, never use a condom you find in a cereal box.

#1 I was also planned in fact I beat some high odds being born a male due to the radiation my dad was exposed to in the Navy.

I'm alive because my dad hadn't heard of all these new fancy birth control methods... Like pulling out!

Never eat cereal which contains a condom.

Haha being born a male with the "I am a man." Picture next to it

my mother definitely told all 3 of us we were mistakes, while wasted..at my dads family reunion.

69, my mother told me, my brother, and my sister what alcoholic beverage intoxicated her on the night of our conceptions.

I now live on the apartment I was conceived in. They were watching Purple Rain. My dad's words "Well, I was horny and you know how easily suggestable your mother is." Mom's version: I forgot to wear panties and I sat on a bar stool. You're imaculate. Your Sister, well, thats God's will. I would never do anythimg like that. I'm a virgin.

I'm alive. I had no choice in the matter, unfortunately.

I think its trying to communicate.

Ma'am, is that supposed to be a face of some kind?

I read it as "quack." Am I the only one?

Sure. It's Quack. Let's go with that. I'm a undercover duck. Sssssssssssshhhhhh.

I'm sorry, I only speak duck.

An*

20 - I think it's either drunk or high. Take your pick.

Truth hurts.

It doesn't necessarily have to hurt.. OP could've asked if they are now happy the condom broke and if he made a positive difference to their lives.

The first sperm to the egg usually never is the one that fertilizes it. It's a group effort of many sperm to push one through. Health class

I guess that's a better way to think about it than your mom cheated on your dad without a condom.

I'm glad someone else knows their basic reproduction.

We're all champions of the great sperm race

When did I say he was first? I said he was fast. But you and #60 should get together and enlighten everyone else on the basics of reproduction since it seems that you two are the only ones educated on the subject :)

*Cue incoming comments about religion*

Ok, I realize people on FML are extremely varied in religion, but I hope we all agree life is a blessing, whether that blessing may be in disguise at the time. Thanks for cuing me ;)

Snickers wrapper.

Latex glove.

Truck stop special