By my honest father - 10/07/2013 16:33 - United States - Kansas City

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML
I agree, your life sucks 52 055
You deserved it 3 747

Same thing different taste

Top comments

thrAsHeRr9081 16

Think of it this way: You were one fast and sneaky little swimmer.


thrAsHeRr9081 16

I'm alive because they didn't pay the stork enough to drop me.

perdix 29

#1, no, I was planned, and only regretted years later. I was a good baby and it's been downhill ever since.

That doesn't make sense...go sit in the corner.

That's a lesson to all of you, never use a condom you find in a cereal box.

UnluckyGenius 21

#1 I was also planned in fact I beat some high odds being born a male due to the radiation my dad was exposed to in the Navy.

hugozac88 22

I'm alive because my dad hadn't heard of all these new fancy birth control methods... Like pulling out!

Never eat cereal which contains a condom.

blakesinthelake 11

Haha being born a male with the "I am a man." Picture next to it

my mother definitely told all 3 of us we were mistakes, while my dads family reunion.

69, my mother told me, my brother, and my sister what alcoholic beverage intoxicated her on the night of our conceptions.

I now live on the apartment I was conceived in. They were watching Purple Rain. My dad's words "Well, I was horny and you know how easily suggestable your mother is." Mom's version: I forgot to wear panties and I sat on a bar stool. You're imaculate. Your Sister, well, thats God's will. I would never do anythimg like that. I'm a virgin.

I'm alive. I had no choice in the matter, unfortunately.

AgirlnamedQing 4
Damian95 16

I think its trying to communicate.

Ma'am, is that supposed to be a face of some kind?

SumBur 11

I read it as "quack." Am I the only one?

AgirlnamedQing 4

Sure. It's Quack. Let's go with that. I'm a undercover duck. Sssssssssssshhhhhh.

SumBur 11

I'm sorry, I only speak duck.

20 - I think it's either drunk or high. Take your pick.

Wowxoxo 17

It doesn't necessarily have to hurt.. OP could've asked if they are now happy the condom broke and if he made a positive difference to their lives.

Think of it this way: You were one fast and sneaky little swimmer.

The first sperm to the egg usually never is the one that fertilizes it. It's a group effort of many sperm to push one through. Health class

I guess that's a better way to think about it than your mom cheated on your dad without a condom.

kayteakay 26

I'm glad someone else knows their basic reproduction.

We're all champions of the great sperm race

When did I say he was first? I said he was fast. But you and #60 should get together and enlighten everyone else on the basics of reproduction since it seems that you two are the only ones educated on the subject :)

God deemed you worth-having and that's all that matters, regardless of what that human toothpick says...

Ok, I realize people on FML are extremely varied in religion, but I hope we all agree life is a blessing, whether that blessing may be in disguise at the time. Thanks for cuing me ;)

kdm_km1 19

Harsh but at least hes able to tell the truth ;)