No, I would thank my dad for saving my life.

I don't think you read the post

One thing is blatantly clear; OP would not exist if her mom got an abortion. Her dad shouldn't have beaten her mom obviously, but she exists today because of him.

Yes, she exists in an abusive household where her father is a known wife-beater and her mother lives in fear of him because he will use violence to get what HE wants, **** everyone else. Or she could have been born later when her mother was actually *READY* to have a child.

He literally beat his wife, that literally makes him a wife-beater, he HAS and WILL use violence to get what he wants. I'm not sure what makes this so hard for you to understand. People like you are why people in abusive situations have such a hard time getting out.

#36 She could have been born later? Really? There's millions and millions of sperm that are released, each and every one of them is the genetic blueprint for a completely unique individual. Don't get me wrong. I don't condone the violence, but abortion used as a form of birth control is just wrong, IMO.

Good thing no one uses abortion as birth control, then, other than the imaginary strawmen invented by anti-choicers.

Although the dad should have a choice, I don't think that beating the shit out of OP's mom was a good solution

"Good thing no one uses abortion as birth control" Irony is awesome. And with that, I'm going to stop posting in this thread. I didn't get FML to have philosophical debates. If you'd like to continue, feel free to send me a private message.

They wouldn't be "born later" they would be deadline

Yes #45 because saving a child's life starts by beating the shit of a pregnant woman, which incidentally could have caused her to miscarry. What type of sick coward does that? If she wanted an abortion because she didn't want a child with that asshole, I really cannot blame her for that.

#54, it's his kid too, he should have a choice.

Excuse me 54? What gives him the right? Oh idk. It's his child too! It's his DNA too. I'm not saying beating her was right but she shouldn't abort it bc she alone doesn't want it. He has a right to see his child born.

Nope. A woman has the right to an abortion and not having to fear someone beating her. Obviously Op is here now and this is a terrible story to hear.

Op's dad is ****** up u don't beat your wife. The only hope op has is that the father has gone to therapy and has suffered enough humiliation that he does not touch op's mom anymore. That is legitimately the only good view I can grasp at.

Sorry, but that is just not fair or logical. The man doesn't have to carry the child. And he sounds horrifically abusive. I wouldn't have anyone's child, even if I was in a successful marriage. I want no children, so if BC fails then abortion is the next step. Doesn't matter if someone begs me, I wouldn't give up my right to not have a child for that. If you want kids, then you need to be with someone who doesn't believe in abortion.

Born LATER? No, sorry. In the real world once you die you don't get a second shot.

Except it isn't his body that the fetus existed inside of for a full pregnancy term. Saying that the father "didn't have a choice" is complete bullshit. He CHOSE to hit OP's mother, he CHOSE to use fear to force her to carry his offspring to term. Forcing someone to carry a child to term is on par with rape- it is a violation of someones ownership and authority over their own body, which is something that every person is entitled to. Forcing someone to follow a course of action through fear is called extortion, and not only is it illegal, it is immoral. If he was willing to force OP's mother to carry a pregnancy to term, he has likely done more than "beat the living shit" out of her, and likely physically battered more than once. He had a choice, and he chose to be an abusive monster instead of a decent human, and you are defending his choice to be an abuser. The only person's who's consent matters when it comes to an abortion is the person who would otherwise have to carry the fetus to term. No one else. The person who donated the sperm does not get to force someone to carry their child to term, and anyone who would do so does not deserve the right to have children. It doesn't matter if they 'want' the child, their body isn't the one that will be supporting and housing it for, on average, 40 weeks.

I don't care if Op was the second coming of Christ. If her mother wanted an abortion, it is her right to get one.

You're all so stupid. Such idiocy is incredible. A life was saved. Stop being imbeciles.

As a future psychiatrist, I can say humiliation is absolutely NOT a helpful therapeutic method. Maybe for torture it would be effective, but humiliating someone is never going to turn them into a better, more emotionally stable individual.

What about the rights of the child? Murdering someone because you don't want to take responsibility for your actions is immoral and wrong. Don't get me wrong, I don't think the guy should have beat the mother. The ends never justify the means.

Nooo,she would have been dead. She never would have been born. She never would have been able to exist because her body and therefore personality and very being would have been ripped apart.

Listen fuckwads, do you believe everyone should be forced to donate their body and organs to others whether they want to or not? No? Then you are giving a dead body more rights than a living woman. The WOMAN has to deal with the pregnancy, if you want men to have a choice find a way to transfer the baby to them. You have NO RIGHT to force a woman to carry a child she doesn't want. HER body is what's affected.

I think everyone is assuming a lot from this fml. 1. We don't know if they stayed together. 2. We have no idea if he ever hit her ever again. 3. The mother could have lied about or exaggerated the story. This is just a few quick reasons why we shouldn't be so quick to judge others.

There is a way around that, I believe people are allowed to legally sign away parental rights and then are no longer financially responsible for the child. But they also then don't have any right to make decisions, see them, etc, if the child's caretaker says no.

I don't think 36 knows how birth works. OP literally COULD NOT have been born later. The sperm cell that OP came from would have either died or became an aborted fetus had anything other than exactly what happened taken place. The idea that the mother can have an abortion and OP can be born later is ignorant at best and intentionally misleading at worst. A different person entirely would have been born instead of OP. Want proof? Look at any siblings that aren't born on the same day. They are different. It was morally wrong that OP's father harmed his wife, but it's at the very least morally grey to say that the living breathing person OP is now should have been aborted.

That's not how it works but okay.

its not his fault, no need to make op feel like shit

#26, I think #2 meant is OP happy to be alive right now. I for one am not content to be alive, and if this situation were mine I would probably go to therapy because of all the conflicting feelings.

I was asking OP this because of my personal experience with my similar situation. My dad was and is very abusive. My mom went through a similar situation that OP's mom went through. During my childhood and teen life i was depressed and attempted suicide multiple times. I would wish my mom went through with the abortion rather than the life I lived through. As a young adult, I still do not like my father, but I have a strong positive relationship with my mother. She says she regrets staying in a relationship with my father, but does not regret not going through with the abortion. If this FML was really meant for OP instead of OP's parents, then I would truly be asking OP if they were okay (content). What if they were in my situation, and was abused by their father growing up?

unless hes retarded he probably hit her face and not her stomach

He's a spouse-beater, so he's pretty "retarded" right from the start.

#4. What if his punch to the face had caused her to fall on her stomach? Punching someone square in the face is an almost sure-fire way to knock them out.

Sounds more like he resorted to the only thing he could and stopped OP'S mother from killing her in the first place. I don't care who carries the baby, if either party doesn't want a child then they need to make better choices beforehand. Dad should have just as much day in whether or not his child lives or not. If the mother wants nothing to do with it after, then she can pay her child support and let the father raise his child himself.

Pretty sure abortion has a higher fatality rate that that

The person who contributes the sperm does not sacrifice as much as the person who has to carry the fetus to term does. So, no, the person who contributes only the sperm does not get a say in the matter of abortion. It isn't their body, they don't have the right to say that they get to use the gestating parent's body as a tool to provide them with an offspring because they contributed sperm to the process. If you can't see how ludicrously unequal that is for the person who would be forced to surrender control of their body for 40 weeks and have their body irrevocably changed by something they DO NOT WANT because someone else says they have to, you are not only knowingly cruel, callous, and bigoted, you are also woefully unintelligent. A person can always have a child later if they have an abortion, though it may have to be through adoption or surrogacy. A person can not retroactively prevent the damage and changes wrought by pregnancy. Saying that a person who gave the sperm part of the equation should have the same amount of say as the person who contributes not only the egg, but the time, energy, and resources to gestating the fetus is like saying that because you pissed on your neighbors lawn, you should own their house.

Stress can also cause a miscarriage.

One, why would a mother pay child support for a child she didn't want but was forced to have anyway under duress? Two, you're ****** up. I personally get why some believe the fathers should have a say, but at the same time I understand why they don't, because it's not their bodies and assholes could use that power as a way to control the mothers. Three, to all the dipshits saying that the parents should have used birth control, you realize the only way to perfectly prevent pregnancy is to either not get penetrated, or be fixed. Wearing condoms and being on the pill simultaneously can still fail. To OP: I'm very sorry that you came into this world through such violent means. I really hope your family can help you come to terms with this. In a perfect scenario, your father has gotten the help he needs and will spend the rest of his life making up to your mother what he did, and your mom has learned to love you regardless of how you got here. If you need counselling, no one would blame you. Try not to take the offensive things you read in these comments to heart. I'm gonna go now, but I really hope the mods disable this thread soon. This topic is clearly very sensitive to some people.

Honestly if it is consensual you have to be prepared to have a baby with the person you are having sex with. If you don't want a baby then you shouldn't have sex in the first place because nothing is 100% fool-proof. If you just want sex for pleasure you should decide what you are going to do if the woman does get pregnant and agree on what to do in that situation beforehand.

It's both of their child. If the man doesn't have a say in whether or not the child gets to live,he shouldn't have any emotional or financial responsibility after. If it's only the woman's burden and she can choose to kill her child if she wants,maybe the woman should have 100% of the financial burden as well instead of being a hypocrite and saying "you have nothing to do with this situation unless I want you to pay money". If a man is in ANY SITUATIONS expected to take some responsibility for his child,he should be involved from the very beginning.

Sorda...

Beat the living shit. Read the post.

fetus and a tumour, in a way they are the same, they consume cells and replicate. getting larger till something either good or bad happens. so to speak.

So tumors have their own unique DNA, a heartbeat after 4 weeks, a brain after 5 weeks, arms/legs/toes/ears/eyelids...all before they're even an inch in size? Learn something new every day.

Some tumors actually can have their own DNA, separate from the host, and their own pulse. There are tumors with hair, teeth, bone, and sometimes even eyes and limbs.

Disturbing, but true.

Definitely. First of all, people learn when they're BABIES that physical violence isn't okay in disagreements, which shows that he's so inept he couldn't think of any other way to reason with OP's mother besides domination and fear. Second of all, beating her easily could have made her lose the child, so great on him for really thinking THAT one through. Third, I find it completely unethical and purely vile to force someone to have a child, which makes me disgusted by this altogether. And lastly, if I were OP, I would find my dad and give him exactly what he gave to my mother, times two. This FML makes me wish I knew who this guy was so I could shame him in front of the world. What a pathetic person.