Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend had changed my ringtone to some woman moaning with pleasure continuously. I found this out in the middle of a job interview when she rang me. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend outside a bar, when a hand on my shoulder yanked me back. I screamed and turned to see my husband glaring at me, with his best friend behind him, recording us on his phone. I'm fucked. FML
Today, I woke up and had a voicemail from my boyfriend. I just thought nothing of it because it was a pocket dial. I decided to listen to it carefully and realized it was him having sex with another girl. FML
Today, my husband played a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML
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Top comments
ulicki 0
haha, dad must of loved to hear that.
Jessie86 3
Gotta love technology this day and age!
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Comments (158)
ALERI0N 0
2 I smell a virgin.
tencentsakiss 19
Really? I disagree, she/he looks like a bunny and those things are insane.
Zabrielle 0
is there something wrong with being a virgin?
CitrusGirl 0
Guess what dude? Girls prefer guys who are virgins. You know why? Because then they don't have to think about all the girls he slept with and left.
5t3ff1k4h 47
I don't prefer a virgin in bed. I'm not saying all virgins are like this, but the ones I've been with seemed shy and didn't know what they were doing. Yes, we were at a reasonable age (I'd already graduated from high school), so age isn't an excuse for being shy in bed. I prefer men who are confident in bed.
RedPillSucks 33
How about a confident virgin? huh? huh?
tencentsakiss 19
RPS, confident virgin is an oxymoron lol. I have to agree with 100 completely.
ellamegan 0
agreed
juniorsgay 0
win 16 must be a virgin...and I'm sure he's not bored he did it was a joke!
tencentsakiss 19
If he wanted to hear her scream more, I feel like the more intelligent thing would have been to record it on his phone.
zombiedroogie138 0
I'm with 16, 2 is is lonely! and jealous! haha
tencentsakiss 19
Clearly you all have never seen a troll before, lol.
Comedie 0
Thank you for saying that ! This one was pretty obvious, but still it worked ..
mightymart 5
****
daniella4680 0
how is she a **** for having sex? so many ppl have it and A LOT before marrige. or maybe your just jealous cause u r a virgin...?
funzcpl 0
****? why? that's just a ignorant assumption
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Having sex, with your partner, in monogamous relationship? You ****.
mightymart 5
rofl nathan
dannyboy66 7
u screamer ;D keeper down or ur gonna be watched by the creepy man down tge streett ;) now aint that fun
Kehaulani1994 0
hey Danny!!!! it's meh Alissa lol. sup???
RobboXD 5
that's ******* epic LOL!
77taylah33 0
2 could just mean YDI for having sex before marriage or something like that
zombiedroogie138 0
are you his mom?
5t3ff1k4h 47
There's no problem with sex before marriage. Almost everyone does it. And before you harp on me for being a "****", I prefer to wait until I know the guy and can trust him.
Melaniee_fml 0
Just because 'everyone does it' doesn't make it a legitimate excuse to. Alot of eighth graders have sex. is THAT okay with you? you may prefer to just wait untill you trust a guy, which I agree with, but not everyone does. We don't need a bunch of pregnant, horny children running around do we.
5t3ff1k4h 47
No, you're right, we don't. BUT! If 8th graders choose to have sex (presumably unprotected) and end up pregnant or with an STI, that's their problem. They should be dealing with the consequences of their poor decision making. Then again, at that age it's also the parents' responsibilities to take care of both children because 13 year olds can't legally be kicked out. I believe the age here is 16. On the other hand, if you're also thinking along the same lines in terms of 16 year olds, they CAN be kicked out and they should definitely deal with it themselves. There's no excuse. If you're going to engage in something risky like that, know the risks and protect yourself so you don't end up with an unwanted child that you can't support. Both ages have been exposed to sexual education. Both have no excuse not to know how to prevent pregnancies and STIs. "Everyone does it" is not a legitimate excuse, true. I didn't quite mean for my comment to sound like I'm condoning sex for someone so young. I meant for it to come across as - many people are in serious relationships, even at age 15 or 16 for example. If they FEEL they're ready, what's the problem? Like I said before, as long as they know how to stay safe, that's their choice. edit: Sorry for the novel. Didn't realize it was so long!
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
When a very young teenager has irresponsible sex and faces the consequences, be it pregnancy, an STI/STD, nudie pics released online, etc., I have a hard time placing the blame squarely on his or her shoulders. *If* they've had comprehensive sex ed, then yeah, blame away. Unfortunately, though, such education isn't always given. In those cases, I think the parents share the blame. I might even go as far as saying if the parents abdicated their responsibility by relying on the school's program, never addressing the issue directly themselves, they would still share the blame. Whether that program was abstinence-only or well-rounded and comprehensive, ultimately it's a parent's responsibility to keep his/her children safe, and that includes teaching them about safe sex.
zombiedroogie138 0
WTF?! debate on FML?!
RedPillSucks 33
The argument about it being their problem if young kids get pregnant or have STDs is invalid. Guess what happens to these kids or their kids. If they can't take care of themselves, they end up in the welfare system or in the prison system and that costs you and me in more ways than one. If people dont want to take care of each other because its morally right, at least they should think of doing the right thing because of enlightened self interest. This is not rocket science.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Yes they should think of it, however not all of them who are "stupid", for lack of a better word, and end up pregnant or with an STI will end up on welfare or in jail.