Today, my ex-husband came to pick up our two kids for his weekend with them. Seeing his new girlfriend was in the car, and desperate for conversation, I asked her name. My kids unhesitatingly blurted out, "Mom". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I said to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said, "Mommy, I don't want to leave." She wasn't talking to me. FML
Today, I took my kids to the park. I saw my daughter playing with a kid who looked familiar. Turns out he was my ex’s son, whom I haven’t seen in years. I thought it was cute they played so well together, until my ex’s new girlfriend came over, screaming that I was trying to use my kid to get to her man. FML
Today, I confronted my boyfriend’s bitch of an ex about why she won’t let him see their kids. She laughed hysterically then showed me screenshots of all the times she offered to drop them off and the excuses he made. An hour later, she dropped three kids at our door and stopped answering her phone. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, a woman I’d never met came to my door asking if my kids were ready to go. Obviously I refused to send my kids with a stranger. Apparently she’s my ex's new girlfriend and "has his permission" to come get my kids. Now he’s threatening to take me to court for violating the visitation order. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I'd been seeing for a few weeks. It was his wife calling to find out what was going on with us. He told me he was separated. He left his kids home alone to hook up with me. FML
Today, my ex-wife's kids, who I dumped alongside her and completely cut ties with when I found out they weren't mine, found me on social media. FML
Today, I sent my ex's mom several pics of the kids from our recent outing. Being the kids' grandmother, she loved them. Later, I got a barrage of angry, insulting and threatening texts from my ex's new girlfriend, saying that since he and I are no longer together, I should have no contact with his family. FML
Today, I met my ex, whom I have not seen in years, in the airport. She was with a 3 year-old girl who ran to me with open arms, happily saying, "Papa!" Overjoyed, I picked her up, hugging her back, and kissed her. My ex then condescendingly said, "She's NOT yours!" When I asked why, she said, "She calls ALL MEN 'Papa'!" FML
Today, I had to go along with my mom to meet some of her old friends from high school. When they asked her about how her life was going, she said she was married, always traveling, no kids, and introduced me as the neighbor's kid she babysits. FML
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Top comments
buttcramp 21
Damn, OP. This really sucks! That's not cool that your ex and his girlfriend are having the kids call her that especially if their relationship is still so new.
LCPLStewie 23
Youch! I'm sorry... At least they're taking the divorce well. Because the main focus NOW should be on the children's well being... but stillll! FYL
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Comments (107)
Federgirl 19
omg I'm a piece of cheese :(
PIGaming 21
Please elaborate, otherwise is this just a rushed attempt to be first?
IloveToLaugh143 21
There's nothing like first-commenter's glory.
lambda_fml 40
Perhaps #1 is the said girlfriend from the FML.
scice03 8
You poor thing :(
cheshireau 26
Why? The first commenter was obviously sympathising with OP for the fact that this 'new' girlfriend of her ex-husband is already being called 'Mom'. Why is that hard for your to comprehend?
LCPLStewie 23
Because obviously #10 wanted to be first! notice he/she didn't write anything sympathetic?
LCPLStewie 23
WAIT WTF?!?!?!?!?!? I'M LOST NOW 0.O
Kergami 18
Someone please explain to me what #1 meant..
LCPLStewie 23
Originally it said "OMG I"m so sorry" now Just... I don't even know!
glabberfasted 16
Looks like the mods got to #1
LCPLStewie 23
Mods? kinda new to the site what do you mean?
SoliDSt33L 33
56, the Moderators publish FMLs, write blogs, etc., but they are known for moderating comments into much funnier ones. Like how Alan will probably change this comment before you can **** it.
feven 32
You can get away with anything as first commenter.
Destro109 20
shots fired..
paigexox0 37
Honestly that was probably extremely heartbreaking to hear as the childrens real mother. To raise them their whole life, and then for them to call another women mom? I know my mom would be really upset. I love my step mom but i couldnt call her "mom".
teotsi 28
It could be that her ex told the kids that this is her name, if the kids are very young they most likely believed it...
essexadult 2
Maybe the woman has children that call her mum so they all do?
kozzard 17
There are like four-five ladies I call mom, because they've all been there as mother figures since I was a young child. My mom has never been offended by this, because she understands it's not an insult to her, it's a compliment to them
LoganMatthewS 4
I never call my Step-Dad dad, but if I see my real dad, I won't accept him at all. I have my reasons, but it would hurt him
flame5768 14
that sounds kinda sick. look at all the comments below. honestly maybe op misused the word new. they could been getting married. it's common to call the main female figures in your life mom.
lexiieeex3 32
Not the same thing 77.
buttcramp 21
Damn, OP. This really sucks! That's not cool that your ex and his girlfriend are having the kids call her that especially if their relationship is still so new.
IloveToLaugh143 21
That's not okay. OP, you need to sit down and speak with your children AND your ex about that.
sunnyray812 42
My dad's fiancée keeps calling me and my little sister HER kids and spreads rumors about my mom being a *****. We are still beyond pissed. OP, don't let your ex's new wife call your children hers. Tell her who the real momma is and put her in her rightful place!
obi1kenobi 8
That's pretty sad OP
LCPLStewie 23
Youch! I'm sorry... At least they're taking the divorce well. Because the main focus NOW should be on the children's well being... but stillll! FYL
DeeDeeJay 15
It seems like your kids know more about her than they know about you.
tayymeds 23
And you got that from this FML how?
Duggie1339 13
Well #14 they have to be pretty in tuned with this girlfriend or they wouldn't call her mom
trulypar 34
#17 Unless they were instructed to by dad.
QueenSaru 28
@23 When do kids ever do what they're told? ESPECIALLY about something like this. Chances are very high they're calling her Mom by choice, or because the OP is acting 'unMomlike' towards them and they're pissed. I also have to wonder how 'new' is new. I've known a lot of couples where an ex will act like a new spouse is an interloper even if they've been together for a LONG time.
stargirl_95 24
#25 I was instructed to call my step father "Dad" by my mother even though I really didn't want to. Kids will do what they're told if they have strict parents because they fear getting disciplined
QueenSaru 28
@40 Sure, they're more likely to do it 'on demand' if they're going to be punished otherwise, but if the threatening parent isn't within hearing range is it likely they'd answer without any sort of hesitation with the 'expected' moniker?
glabberfasted 16
Damn, 41. Some kids actually respect their parents, you know. Not every single kid in the history of forever is unruly.
QueenSaru 28
I'm aware of that, but when it comes to things like, "You must call this woman I have just started dating Mom," etc, it seems unlikely they would call her Mom WITHOUT HESITATION to their own mother if it's something they're being forced to do. I could see them saying, "Oh... that's uh... that's Mom..." if their father/the girlfriend insist on the moniker, or just saying, "That's dad's new girlfriend," if the father/girlfriend aren't in earshot. Well raised kids do do as they're told the majority of the time, but it's very difficult to make them do it all the time, especially when it comes to things like this, is all I'm saying.
TypeBbitch 15
@60, It's been a well-known issue that kids and even adults follow what authorities tell them to do no matter how strange or unethical it seems as seen in the Milgram experiment. In this situation though if the father did tell them to call his girlfriend "Mom," the kids are either placing their trust in their father and obeying what he tells them to do or they're being reinforced in some way to do it. It's not as unlikely as you make it seem.
LostMy_Marbles 24
Honestly it sounds to me like the children are young and it was a mistake. Children can get confused during break ups and it is possible for people to accidentally be called something else - how many people have called their teacher 'mum' by accident? If the kids really are calling the new girlfriend mum though, FYL OP... That's not a good feeling
chinaski7628 32
60-- it really depends on how old the kids are. Young kids (8 or younger) tend to be very desperate and eager to please adults and parents-- hence the need to teach young children things like 'stranger danger'. It's also possible the girlfriend asked them to call her mom.
ksks1234 33
My child has been told by his dad to call every girlfriend mom. There have been at least ten different 'moms' he has been around. He is 8 now, so he doesn't do it, but before he felt he had to or he would be punished.
poppyseed420 9
So was I, doesn't mean I did
supersitter 11
First of all: what??? And second: wow, bitchy much?
Duggie1339 13
Oh that's actually possible #23
EchoSerenity 15
They could of been bribed to call her mom, some people do that.
PIGaming 21
When I was young, and my parents divorced, I refused to ever call my step-mother mum, although I love her to bits. Sometimes if a child is young they may call adults mum and dad. Hell, I have called my teachers Mum! Or maybe it was a mistake :)
worldclassrager 41
Well in a way it is true...
garrett_8614 14
In what possible way is this true
strawberrywine22 30
It's not true at all. She's not even their step mother. She's the dad's new girlfriend and nothing more!
worldclassrager 41
Read it too quick...oops
LCPLStewie 23
are you implying he cheated on the op and had two kids? 0.o
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#35- I think OP would know if SHE had children... Lol...
LCPLStewie 23
Got a point there... just kind of a strange comment though obviously no one picked up on the sarcasm
strawberrywine22 30
You really need to put a stop to that. it's understandable for kids to call their step mother Mom, but not "Dad's new girlfriend."
Duggie1339 13
Ouch.... Wow that sucks alot