Intimacy: Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights...

By someoneneedsassistance - 24/04/2015 15:07 - United States - Woodford

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 335

You deserved it 4 028

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By mentallyscarred - 31/01/2011 09:34 - United States

Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 147

You deserved it 4 703

By Anonymous - 29/03/2013 17:13 - United States - Lakeland

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 856

You deserved it 5 264

By Anonymous - 30/05/2019 02:00

Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 390

You deserved it 271

By Noname - 08/02/2009 01:23 - United States

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 183

You deserved it 3 871

By Anonymous - 06/05/2017 02:20

Today, as I was pulling out of my apartment complex, I was rear-ended. When I got out of my car to see how bad the damage was, I wondered why the other guy wasn't getting out of his. As it turns out, he was busy pleasing himself. I found out when I approached his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 935

You deserved it 444

By badtiming - 15/09/2010 04:15 - United States

Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 087

You deserved it 3 290

Reverse Uno card

By really_now - 26/04/2013 00:56 - United States - Reno

Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 087

You deserved it 34 386

By Anonymous - 30/05/2015 07:28 - United States - Plainview

Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 985

You deserved it 3 321

DUDE! WTF?

By imanidiot - 03/03/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I'd been sat in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars, and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through, I heard a tap on my driver's window. It was a police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 258

You deserved it 152 410

By Anonymous - 11/06/2012 20:30 - United States

Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a homeless guy touching himself. He saw me, smiled and waved, and then continued. So much for my new eyesight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 650

You deserved it 2 796

IAmzephyr 22

Saturday 25 April 2015 0:02

car jacking?

Edward862 7

Friday 24 April 2015 23:59

yeah, I should probably apologize for that.

Comments

limegreenpoopie 31

Friday 24 April 2015 23:58

Ewwww! You can't unsee that -___-

ironmany_fml 23

Saturday 25 April 2015 6:36

ewwwe. can't unsee you

LittleBastard 20

Saturday 25 April 2015 7:03

Ewwww you're an asshole! Figuratively, and literally.

Edward862 7

Friday 24 April 2015 23:59

yeah, I should probably apologize for that.

munchly 17

Saturday 25 April 2015 0:53

You should be ashamed of yourself!

funsizedliz 15

Saturday 25 April 2015 1:09

So.... Did you still help him?

4WheelBurnout 14

Saturday 25 April 2015 2:05

Says the girl with semi nudes as her profile picture....

StiffPvtParts 43

Saturday 25 April 2015 4:23

Must've been some very juicy **** c:

pauliegon 18

Saturday 25 April 2015 5:02

Best comment I've seen on FML

davincidasecond 24

Friday 24 April 2015 23:59

Brain bleach would be a good thing to have after seeing that.

FusionPlacebo 26

Saturday 25 April 2015 0:00

That's why I never pull over to see if someone needs help.

Markovski 18

Saturday 25 April 2015 0:01

As if that happened to you.

DanCastellaneta 17

Sunday 26 April 2015 6:34

Wow, you're not very sharp, are you?

cmarksjr 16

Saturday 25 April 2015 0:00

I guess he was helping himself..

theTravinator 21

Saturday 25 April 2015 1:05

That's one hell of a joyride

TheBelt 19

Saturday 25 April 2015 2:19

Did O.P join?

dragonkisses28 25

Saturday 25 April 2015 0:02

So did you help him?

Dillyduzit 23

Saturday 25 April 2015 0:53

Sounds like the beginning of a porno.

ironmany_fml 23

Saturday 25 April 2015 6:38

look at OP's name... i guess they were willing to 'assist' :P

IAmzephyr 22

Saturday 25 April 2015 0:02

car jacking?

Zarokona 9

Saturday 25 April 2015 10:37

Perhaps car jerking?

pugpuggy 21

Saturday 25 April 2015 11:34

you just ruined the joke!

ZombieSazza 34

Saturday 25 April 2015 15:49

Well done, #65, now it's forever unfunny.

insideoutoreo33 8

Saturday 25 April 2015 0:04

Boys will be boys

edward80 18

Saturday 25 April 2015 1:04

but boys normally don't jerk off in a car

failedgamer01 20

Saturday 25 April 2015 0:05

Couldn't he have waited to go home and do it in the privacy of his own house? -_-

SlimDanny 15

Saturday 25 April 2015 0:28

Some people's self control is sub par.

RedPillSucks 31

Saturday 25 April 2015 5:05

when you gotta cum, you gotta cum.

martin8337 35

Saturday 25 April 2015 10:33

Unless 10 other people live there. Then it may be difficult to jack it with no privacy.

the_aspect 28

Saturday 25 April 2015 0:05

brain bleach, please. Could he do that in private?

Keywords

Friends Love Teenagers Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Work Revenge Awkward Parents Relatable Weird Miscellaneous Health Job interview Social Media Jealousy Facebook Relationship advice AITA Kids Annoying Roommate Shoes Music Names Customers Education Capitalism

The Top

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 257

You deserved it 2 123

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 488

You deserved it 183 652

The Top

Today, I was looking through pictures on Facebook. There was a picture of me and my friends with the caption "I love you guys!" below. I had been cropped out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 544

You deserved it 3 043

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 985

You deserved it 8 086

Today, I had to tell my adult daughter that living in a pigsty house, breastfeeding when she can be bothered, changing a nappy only once a day, and leaving the baby at any relative's house while she shops is not adequate parenting, and unless she improves, I’m getting social services involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 383

You deserved it 142

Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 032

You deserved it 88 059

Today, after weeks of saving, we finally got our Xbox One delivered. The courier guy who was bringing it up the two stories of stairs tripped on his laces, throwing the package over the side of the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 715

You deserved it 131

Today, I told my best friend I was breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years. He thought it would be funny to tell her I was going to propose to her that night. She showed up telling me how much she loves me and that when we get married how great it will be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 120

You deserved it 7 098

Same thing different taste

Reverse Uno card

DUDE! WTF?

Top comments

Comments