Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML
Today, I was driving to work and stopped at a stop light. A full 2 or 3 seconds passed, followed by a car rear-ending me. The idiot driving it got out and gave me hell, calling me a maniac because I braked "too quickly" and didn't give him a chance to react. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
Today, my car broke down at a red light. A man pulled up next to me and yelled at me to get out of the fast lane. I thought he was gonna offer help, as I was a young woman on her own, but he just yelled at me and sped off. FML
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML
Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML
Today, as I was driving to work, I glanced in my rear view mirror to see an old man behind me using binoculars to see in front of him since we were stuck in a huge traffic jam. He rear ended me. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
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Top comments
Jon_fml 4
Hah, why only half-retarted?
grrbabyverygrr 0
You don't have to go all crazy on her; maybe the OP already reported this to the police, if she felt the need to. You don't have to beat her down to the ground, she's probably scarred already. & by the way, worst is incorrect. worse, would be appropriate, thankyouverymuch.
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Comments (38)
bloodclot 0
well that's what you get for goin' out there and advertising for it
fuzzywazzy012 0
Hey he was half-mental, give him a break.
MetallicaRules19 4
who said anything about being mental? it just said retarded so i assume he has a deformed arm
yoyoforpeace 14
How can you be half-retarded?
DenBriZel 31
This FML is pretty funny, but I can't stand the term "half retarded".
normal_shy_kid 14
You sir # 48 are incredibly misinformed the term retarded has absolutely nothing to do with bodily dysfunction but is purely of the brain.
Paul Hendry 10
what do you mean advertising for it? she was in her car - there is no 'advertisement' - wtf!
NorfolkDude 2
Hey... sorry to say this but you're a terrible person. You're worst than that guy who showed you his junk. Want to know why I just called you that? Well first off, think about the fact that this guy could be doing that to children? Even worst, what if you found out he raped and killed someone? You should def do the right thing and call the police even though it's probably hours ago. Keeping secret like this is a bad thing and you should report it asap.
grrbabyverygrr 0
You don't have to go all crazy on her; maybe the OP already reported this to the police, if she felt the need to. You don't have to beat her down to the ground, she's probably scarred already. & by the way, worst is incorrect. worse, would be appropriate, thankyouverymuch.
gvc 1
Wait. Worse than a potential murdering rapist because she was stopped at a red light after going to the store? Obviously she's done something terrible by running errands.
Aspireworks 12
You seem like a wonderful person, Folk.
sammiaaron 16
This comment disappoints me.
cdm9002 0
Sorry about that.
Jon_fml 4
Hah, why only half-retarted?
greenman_fml 0
good for the retard. everyone needs to jerk it, he just decided to do it while in a car. hell i'm jerkin it right now
erikalynnex 0
greenman plz stop commenting everything. k thx bye
bobateme 0
didn't need that image, old guy.
monkeybanana 7
umm eww nobody needs to know that. especially since you have a picture of you and everybody can have that discusting image in their minds. so please stop being so discusting.
AllTiimeLow 1
You ******* sicko.
MariahMurderr 7
Okay you are like so old and nasty. No one, NO ONE needs to have that mental image. Kay bye.
Chickmechanic69 0
It's politically incorrect to use "retard" "gay", and hundrends of other words, the propblem is not a whole lot of people give a shit when you tell them so. If you're offended by his story then don't read it. End of story.
bobateme 0
politically incorrect? I'm sorry, but almost no one really cares. if you don't like it, go dig a hole and live in it. anyway, the word was not used to intentionally embarrass anyone specific. there's no way to tell who is being talked about. the point of FML is to have a laugh, not to troll about how someone is using words you don't like.
MariahMurderr 7
Hundred and Problem you mean.
flamingarrow59 21
what are you a gay retard?
sammiaaron 16
chill out PC peanut stand. yes, their choice of adjectives was rather ugly. but you... you need to relax.
brodizzle 0
I clicked the comments just to say that, Mike. You beat me to it :(
bandito0007 0
whatever
Shadow0B 0
ouch
miraow 0
#13 - How the hell can anyone guess if they like anything if they don't read it :/