Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML
Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML
Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML
Today, as I was pulling out of my apartment complex, I was rear-ended. When I got out of my car to see how bad the damage was, I wondered why the other guy wasn't getting out of his. As it turns out, he was busy pleasing himself. I found out when I approached his car. FML
Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML
Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML
Today, while I was driving, a pedestrian gesticulated wildly at me for being on my phone. I was just tucking my hair behind my ear. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I'd been sat in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars, and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through, I heard a tap on my driver's window. It was a police officer. FML
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Top comments
IAmzephyr 22
car jacking?
Edward862 7
yeah, I should probably apologize for that.
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Comments (88)
Crystal_da_thing 23
I would get back in my car and drive into a tree
Girlshotdown1 21
now why would you do that smart one
cookiethumper 23
He could have been passing time until the tow truck came... could have passed time 3 or 4 times even, and with the luxury of inflight entertainment. Bonus I'd say
qdawg06 23
Guess he couldnt wait.
simply_meeeee 26
So... Did you help him?
NickEd 11
that's why they call them hazard lights
captainsmegma 12
Should have offered him a ********. Now that's true roadside assistance.
starlandmarie 22
Maybe he was hoping for some help with his "problem".
NickVsHtml 14
Maybe he was reading some FML's
Tannasgh 22
Should have videoed it...
aylind 18
That would haunt me forever, holy hell.