Intimacy: Today, while checking through the graphic novel section of my... - FML

By dwek - United Kingdom

Today, while checking through the graphic novel section of my library, I noticed a gay manga porn comic. While I was wondering who in the world would ever RENT such an item, I realised I had been staring at it for a full five minutes and people were watching me. FML

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Sorry…

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Incognito browsing

By Anonymous - United States - Lemon Grove

Today, I was pretending a long corridor at work was a catwalk, when a coworker walked out just in time to see me prancing around like an idiot. Now the whole building is laughing about it. FML

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By SF49 - United States

Dingdong

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

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By journey_Jeanne - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

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By stupidquestionsstupidpeople - United States - Chicago Heights

Today, I met one of my favorite web-comic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML

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By me - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML

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By jackgrant - Iran Islamic Republic of

Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML

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By UnluckyGroom - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML

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By 88_OP - United Kingdom

Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/4/2020 02:00

Cold-blooded old times

Today, going through my dead grandma's papers, we found old faded photos. I showed them to my mum, who screamed in shock. They were grandma and granddad's erotic photos from about seventy years ago. FML

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By Drai Gray

Today, I'm finally dating the girl I've been fawning over for years. So what do I do? I accidentally call her by her sister's name during a conversation, which might seem like a small mistake, except I used to sleep with her sister and she's been having a hard time getting over it. FML

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By ribx - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, despite feeling healthier than ever, losing fat, gaining muscle and having perfect blood results, my morbidly obese relatives keep telling me that my new vegan diet is "unhealthy". FML

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By HoobidibooFox - United Kingdom - Coseley

Today, I found out the one good thing about having fat rolls: when someone walks in on you sitting on the toilet, they hide your private parts. FML

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By sisi9999 - United States

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

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By Anonymous - France

Today, I paid a social visit to my grandparents. While we were watching the news, a story came on about the Queen of England. I scoffed, "How is she not dead already? How old is she, anyway?" My grandmother replied, "About my age." Oops. FML

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By anonymous - United States - Bloomington

Today, I received a birthday card from my dad, over a week late. It was addressed to me using my maiden name, the enclosed check also made out to me using my maiden name. I've been married for over 10 years. FML

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By Mmm - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her a pregnancy test. After using it, we couldn't find how to tell if she was or wasn't pregnant. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Google searching, and tension, I realized I had bought an ovulation test. FML

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By Sarah - United States

Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML

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By xo007 - United States

Today, as I stepped into the shower, I slipped and fell over the edge of the tub, pulling the shower curtain down with me. I called my roommate to help me up as I put on a towel over me. But before she could help me up, she grabbed her phone to take a picture. The picture became a mass text. FML

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By Ana

Today, while fighting with a girl I hate, my nose piercing got a little loose and I ended up snorting it in. That same girl had to take me to the hospital for surgery. She told everyone afterwards. FML

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By anonymous - Canada - Kitchener

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

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By alycion

Today, I took my father to a hockey game. He always has to get pictures with the girls, so while in bag check, he used his breath spray. He got me in the eye, and I was temporarily blinded through most of the first period. FML

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By FallCameEarly - United States - Alhambra

Today, at my job as a librarian at an old library, I was shelving books. Things were great until one entire bookshelf fell over. The damage wasn't too bad. Then the rest fell down. FML

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By Denise - 26/7/2020 17:00

How does that work?

Today, the girl I hired and trained took my director's position. She's not even been there a month. I didn't do anything to lose it, they just decided she was more qualified. At least I was good at picking employees I guess. FML

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By Tallow101 - United States

Today, I asked my parents to sign for me to enlist in the military. They asked me how much money the government gives them if I die. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Oakland

Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML

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By AnnaNick - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML

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By nola2005

Hoarded in

Today, as my gaze went from the cobwebs hanging from my ceiling to the opened and unopened Amazon boxes in the corners of my house, I realized I'm on my way to being a hoarder. I'm too tired and depressed to do anything about it. FML

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By cycler - United States

Today, I ran over a chipmunk. On my bike. Its mangled carcass got caught in the spokes and decided to join me on my ride. FML

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By Busted - United States

Today, my friend and I doodled on a sheet of paper trashing our English teacher. Later, I went to English class, and my teacher asked for us to take out a sheet of loose sheet of paper and write an essay. It wasn't until I had written on the whole front and flipped to the back that I realized I was using the doodle sheet. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/2/2021 18:30 - United States - Bronx

Stay safe out there

Today, for the third time in less than a week, my dumbass roommate has a bunch of friends over. None of them are wearing masks and I don't feel comfortable leaving my room. I'm fucking starving and can't go to the kitchen to get food. The idiot is a fucking nursing major. FML

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By bdogge99 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was at the dentist. During my check-up, he recommended a dermatologist. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandparents visited. My grandpa kept getting off the couch and walking around to "stretch his legs." He kept kicking out my computer's network cable and messing up my game, smirking each time he did it. When I complained, my mom told me to shut up and show some respect. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, like every day for the past year or so, I went for a walk. And like every time I go for a walk, I got severely winded halfway through. I have no medical issues like asthma, I’m just out of shape. FML

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By hadtocleanthemess - Canada

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Rochester

Today, I spent over an hour shovelling the walkway and driveway, snow blowing in my face and down my coat. When I was finally finished, a guy started going through the neighborhood plowing everyone's driveways for them. FML

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By Anonymous - Norway

Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML

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By BleakExpectations

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years revealed he'd got me a complete collection of Charles Dickens' novels for £3 from a charity shop. He was particularly proud as he said it meant he could give me one for Christmas and my birthday each year, thus avoiding having to buy me presents for the next 15+ years. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Spring

Today, my fiancé's grandmother kept trying to introduce him to this "simply absolutely amazing girl," who she thought "would be just the perfect date" for him. At our engagement party. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was on MSN when the conversation died. So I lied and told them I had to go get ready for a party, and that everyone was expecting me there. I spent the rest of the night playing The Sims. FML

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By Champion the wonder horse - United States

Today, a bunch of guys at work chased me down a corridor with a Febreze spray for smelling like I'd been "sleeping in a hollowed-out horse's carcass" and having "the personal hygiene of a billy goat." FML

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Top comments

By Chvdl | 0

#201959 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:03

I would rent those...

By zulucharlie_fml | 0

#201971 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:05

Ummm, gay people would...? Or maybe people who stare at it for five minutes...?

COMMENTS

By Chvdl | 0

#201959 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:03

I would rent those...

Reply

VDG_fml | 0

#976114 - Thursday 8 April 2010 3:38

don't bash yaoi

Reply

pertained | 12

#980770 - Saturday 17 April 2010 4:49

Yaois are awesome. so are shonen-ai..

Reply

crazyrainbowstar | 0

#989768 - Sunday 9 May 2010 20:09

They really are. Like candy for your inner fangirl. X3

Reply

terranada | 3

#1396077 - Monday 13 September 2010 3:50

yaoi ftw!!!! xD

Reply

emmyers | 0

#1437946 - Wednesday 22 September 2010 1:52

yaoi is love ~<3
Don't lie OP you are a secret fan.

Reply

spaerro | 8

#2904730 - Saturday 16 July 2011 8:25

yaoi is fucking amazing. I would definitely get it.

Reply

Pixelduhst | 0

#3276837 - Monday 12 September 2011 12:06

Don't you dare trashtalk Yaoi. That shit is like cocaine.

Reply

Omgplz | 3

#3543861 - Saturday 5 November 2011 4:45

Yaoi... Is my world.

Reply

over9000skittles | 15

#5949760 - Monday 19 May 2014 5:34

Who wouldn't? :D

By airandfingers | 0

#201962 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:03

Lawl hentai in a library.

Reply

Asstonia | 1

#2464485 - Thursday 5 May 2011 20:39

it's not hentai idiot.
it's yaoi

Reply

Len_Kagamine | 8

#4861167 - Sunday 26 August 2012 4:41

Well it COULD be hentai.. you never know..

Reply

d4m4s74 | 12

#5523686 - Thursday 6 June 2013 18:56

Hentai is animated, so no, it can't be Hentai

By Sessee | 4

#201970 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:04

Don't feel bad, I would do that, too.
You should have just rented it :D

By zulucharlie_fml | 0

#201971 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:05

Ummm, gay people would...? Or maybe people who stare at it for five minutes...?

By aback | 4

#201976 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:06

Got good to ya, did it? :D

By Chvdl | 0

#201980 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:07

#4 and #5 Actually those manga are aimed at females (I know alot who read them and read them myself).

Reply

Sunny_Eclipse | 6

#2975784 - Tuesday 26 July 2011 0:31

It's true. I LOVE THEM!!

By elmangy | 0

#201991 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:09

someone was interested...

By lazorzpewpew | 0

#201998 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:09

#5: Yes there are, you speak the truth. However, I don't know anyone who would rent a straight hentai manga from a *library*. Plus, I'd question it's cleanliness... just saying ;)

OP: Lol, FYL.

By mangotreats | 2

#202005 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:10

the OP is saying that it's gross to rent something that someone else probably used to masturbate with. that's why he put the word rent in caps. i tend to agree; i'd just buy it.

By kristenlee | 3

#202009 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:11

You must protect the children from reading such trash! Check out the book and burn it, immediately.

Reply

littlemissgrace | 15

#3261078 - Friday 9 September 2011 7:13

Closed-minded bitch. Stfu