Intimacy: Today, while checking through the graphic novel section of my... - FML

By dwek - United Kingdom

Today, while checking through the graphic novel section of my library, I noticed a gay manga porn comic. While I was wondering who in the world would ever RENT such an item, I realised I had been staring at it for a full five minutes and people were watching me. FML

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Walk on the wild side

The past that suits you best

Conspiracies claim another victim

By zaynemaliksvagina - United States - Shrewsbury

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I fart. FML

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By stutson - United States

Today, on my airplane ride home, the woman next to me wasn't feeling too well. She pulled out the air sickness bag to throw up into and missed. Her vomit splattered all over the seat in front of her and all over me. We were both covered in puke. And that was only my first of two flights. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went out to eat to celebrate getting over the stomach flu. I hadn't eaten solid food in over a week, so I was really excited and ordered my favorite dish. It gave me food poisoning. FML

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By HaroldLames - 1/3/2021 11:01

What have you got yourself into?

Today, the court is unable to allow me to divorce my wife because she is pregnant with our child. I have to wait until AFTER the baby is born, so that she is born inside of a marriage and not be an "illegitimate child". I was planning to move out of our house to go live with my high school sweetheart this weekend. FML

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By AnonymousLoser - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/3/2021 21:30 - United States

Always carry around a pencil with you

Today, while at work, I took one of the biggest dumps I've taken in my life. The turd was so big, I took a pencil and chopped it into small pieces because I was afraid it would clog up the toilet. FML

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By Pika

Today, in the midst of an interview, I was asked what my best qualities are. I panicked and quickly responded that I can make a great Pikachu impression. They wanted to hear it. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Cary

Today, I'd like to thank the genius who scheduled my class in a building which is actively being torn down. FML

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By jerrid - United States

Today, a drunk man opened the unlocked door to my house thinking it was his house. He tried to attack me because he thought I was a burglar. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/12/2020 09:02 - Romania

Fandoms are weird

Today, even three months after seeing 'Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan', I can’t think about anything or anyone except Saavik anymore. FML

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By Sophies - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I woke up on Christmas morning to find that a large cock and balls had been keyed into the windscreen of my car. My new, two-week-old car, which I will be paying off for the next four years. FML

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By Eden - United States

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML

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By sally

Today, my son watched some ridiculous Japanese cartoon about shokugeki cooking and is convinced he's the greatest cook ever by copying what happens in the show. He set fire to my frying pan, panicked, and dumped it in the ceramic sink, which cracked from the heat and flooded my kitchen. FML

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By

Today, I was stuck in a window seat next to the biggest/angriest man I've ever seen. During the trip I reached down to pick up what I thought was my pillow but instead managed to pull off his huge sock. Couldn't put it back so had to pretend I had no idea why he was glaring at me when he woke up. FML

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By fatcat - United States - Tulsa

Today, I was told to stop processing certain transactions at work because I'd tried to make rich people follow the same tax rules that we force poor people to follow to the letter. I'm guessing it won't be too long till I'm fired and blacklisted from this career I've had ten years. FML

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By LoveYouTooMa - United States

Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

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By bridetobe - United States

Today, I am sitting at home, alone, playing video games. My wedding is tomorrow afternoon. None of my bridesmaids wanted to hang out tonight. FML

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By Nice Melons - United States

Today, at work as a cashier, I was scanning cantaloupes. The man buying them then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nice melons." FML

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By omfgitburns

Today, I had a plaster cast removed from my arm. After telling the nurse it felt like the saw was cutting my skin, she tells me there is no way that it could touch my skin and that I was being paranoid. She cracked open the cast. Burns, blisters and bleeding skin were revealed. FML

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By Jimmy Joe

Today, I went to Houston to help with hurricane relief and to donate supplies. Later, I realized that I'd accidentally donated a bag that had my brand new truck keys in it. I've been waiting for 5 hours already to find it. FML

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By NotTheSoulMate - United States

Today, even though I don't necessarily believe in soul mates, I found out my wife does. She met hers a few weeks ago. FML

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By Pauline - United States

Today, I visited my son at his university accommodations and noticed he's clearly never cleaned it since he moved in two years ago. I tried cleaning it myself, but gave up entirely when I found what looked like mushrooms growing out of an old takeout container. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Palo Alto

Today, working as a waitress, I was asked by a customer, yet again, how my baby was doing. I don't have a baby, but I do look very similar to my 25-year-old coworker, who's a new mom. People confuse us all the time. Unfortunately, my crush, who was standing nearby, doesn't know that. FML

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By Nikse - United States

Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML

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By Freebie - United States - Altoona

Today, marks the third month that I have not received payment for work I did on web pages for a hospital chain. They owe me over $1,000. It will cost twice that to get a lawyer to force them to pay me what I'm owed. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML

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By idk ask freud - United States - Portland

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

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By Anonymous - Austria - Vienna

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was feeling sick but went into my waitressing job because I'd already missed 3 days this week. I was dizzy and managed to spill a tray of drinks all over the customers. Then, when their food was done, I tripped and spilled hot chili all over the man's lap. FML

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By Habit - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to my lectures is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML

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By Anonymous - Pakistan - Lahore

Today, I finished a 700-page book for my law exam. It was the wrong book. FML

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By thisreallyhappened - United States

Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML

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By Danielle - Canada - Aldergrove

Today, it's day two of my family's camping trip. Despite the weather, bugs, and portapotties, we were doing okay, until the can opener broke. My husband is stubbornly insisting that we live off cereal and peanut butter for another five days. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Kill Devil Hills

Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML

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By curiousorange - United Kingdom

Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML

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By So so close to clean - United States - Warren

Today, with words of encouragement from my mom, I vacuumed my room. After finishing and admiring my job well done, I went to put the vacuum away. It caught on the plug for my electric razor which was dangling below the dresser and yanked that and everything else that was on top of it off. FML

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By manhood fading away - United Kingdom - Heckmondwike

Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML

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Top comments

By Chvdl | 0

#201959 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:03

I would rent those...

By zulucharlie_fml | 0

#201971 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:05

Ummm, gay people would...? Or maybe people who stare at it for five minutes...?

COMMENTS

By Chvdl | 0

#201959 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:03

I would rent those...

Reply

VDG_fml | 0

#976114 - Thursday 8 April 2010 3:38

don't bash yaoi

Reply

pertained | 12

#980770 - Saturday 17 April 2010 4:49

Yaois are awesome. so are shonen-ai..

Reply

crazyrainbowstar | 0

#989768 - Sunday 9 May 2010 20:09

They really are. Like candy for your inner fangirl. X3

Reply

terranada | 3

#1396077 - Monday 13 September 2010 3:50

yaoi ftw!!!! xD

Reply

emmyers | 0

#1437946 - Wednesday 22 September 2010 1:52

yaoi is love ~<3
Don't lie OP you are a secret fan.

Reply

spaerro | 8

#2904730 - Saturday 16 July 2011 8:25

yaoi is fucking amazing. I would definitely get it.

Reply

Pixelduhst | 0

#3276837 - Monday 12 September 2011 12:06

Don't you dare trashtalk Yaoi. That shit is like cocaine.

Reply

Omgplz | 3

#3543861 - Saturday 5 November 2011 4:45

Yaoi... Is my world.

Reply

over9000skittles | 15

#5949760 - Monday 19 May 2014 5:34

Who wouldn't? :D

By airandfingers | 0

#201962 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:03

Lawl hentai in a library.

Reply

Asstonia | 1

#2464485 - Thursday 5 May 2011 20:39

it's not hentai idiot.
it's yaoi

Reply

Len_Kagamine | 8

#4861167 - Sunday 26 August 2012 4:41

Well it COULD be hentai.. you never know..

Reply

d4m4s74 | 12

#5523686 - Thursday 6 June 2013 18:56

Hentai is animated, so no, it can't be Hentai

By Sessee | 4

#201970 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:04

Don't feel bad, I would do that, too.
You should have just rented it :D

By zulucharlie_fml | 0

#201971 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:05

Ummm, gay people would...? Or maybe people who stare at it for five minutes...?

By aback | 4

#201976 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:06

Got good to ya, did it? :D

By Chvdl | 0

#201980 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:07

#4 and #5 Actually those manga are aimed at females (I know alot who read them and read them myself).

Reply

Sunny_Eclipse | 6

#2975784 - Tuesday 26 July 2011 0:31

It's true. I LOVE THEM!!

By elmangy | 0

#201991 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:09

someone was interested...

By lazorzpewpew | 0

#201998 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:09

#5: Yes there are, you speak the truth. However, I don't know anyone who would rent a straight hentai manga from a *library*. Plus, I'd question it's cleanliness... just saying ;)

OP: Lol, FYL.

By mangotreats | 2

#202005 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:10

the OP is saying that it's gross to rent something that someone else probably used to masturbate with. that's why he put the word rent in caps. i tend to agree; i'd just buy it.

By kristenlee | 3

#202009 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:11

You must protect the children from reading such trash! Check out the book and burn it, immediately.

Reply

littlemissgrace | 15

#3261078 - Friday 9 September 2011 7:13

Closed-minded bitch. Stfu