Today, while checking through the graphic novel section of my... - FML

By dwek - 15/5/2009 11:07 - United Kingdom

Today, while checking through the graphic novel section of my library, I noticed a gay manga porn comic. While I was wondering who in the world would ever RENT such an item, I realised I had been staring at it for a full five minutes and people were watching me. FML

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Social distancing gone wrong

The end of the road

Non-baby fever

By bitchypast - 27/1/2015 23:50 - United States - Rockland

Today, is the blizzard. I have to go into work, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't show up. I sent him a picture of the snow completely covering my car. He said I moved the snow there and could move it back. FML

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By random - 6/5/2009 08:57 - United States

Today, I got my hair dyed at a fancy salon. While the stylist was pulling out the foils in my hair I sat up and started screaming in pain because the hot foils were burning my scalp. All she said was "oh, you're fine". I went back home to find an oozing burn wound on my scalp. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/11/2011 17:07 - Ireland

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

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By SonOfaSpy - 18/7/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, we found out why we were getting notes on our door telling us to "move out or else." As my mom works for the government and we have a direct-TV dish on our roof, our neighbor thinks we were sent to listen to his phone calls and read his mind. We were here before he was. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/1/2016 10:33 - United States - Antioch

Today, my girlfriend furiously bitched me out because I got more upset about my phone screen cracking than when she told me about the death of her cat. We hadn't even met when her cat died. Did she expect me to burst into tears from hearing the story? Guess who's single again! FML

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By sadgirl - 23/1/2009 16:52 - United States

Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam. I was shaking my ass while taking off my panties, but when they fell to my feet, I tripped over them and fell on my ass. FML

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By anonymous - 22/3/2012 04:46 - United States - Chelsea

Today, my boyfriend went down on me with whiskey in his mouth. It felt like my genitals were on fire. FML

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By Wheresthecreamfilling - 3/11/2016 06:03

Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML

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By Jared - 1/1/2009 08:49 - France

Today, and for the last 8 months my upstairs neighbours have been making a tremendous noise. I finally decided to go up to complain: "The amount of noise you make is unbelievable ! It sounds like you're driving tractors up here!". The woman replies: "My husband is paraplegic..." FML

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By Tristan - 30/7/2020 02:01

Send message

Today, while messaging a possible new hire to set up an interview at my retail job, I meant to say, "Thank you for being flexible" - in regards to scheduling. Instead, it autocorrected to, "Thank you for being delicious." FML

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By Heartbroken - 20/6/2011 02:17 - United States

Today, I spent 2 hours making the perfect card for my dad for Father's Day. When I handed it to him, he smiled and said "Thank you" and then killed a fly with it. I found it in the trash a couple of hours later. FML

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By burrrito_ - 4/11/2016 00:39 - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, I found out why you depressurize your espresso maker before changing out the coffee grinds. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/6/2014 09:46 - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my tits. He ignored it and instead sent a picture of his dog "looking blazed". FML

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By alejandro38 - 11/7/2010 14:44 - United States

Today, I had an interview. I didn't get the job because apparently customers might not understand me, since I "talk too good." I just graduated with an English degree. FML

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By confusedandnowsingle - 28/6/2013 12:23 - Finland - Espoo

Today, my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me. FML

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By nikkiquila_0699 - 5/9/2009 21:24 - Canada

Today, I came back from my 3 month vacation from France. During my vacation I lost 32lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML

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By MyPrecious... - 11/3/2015 00:33 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/1/2014 19:44 - United Kingdom - Alfreton

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. Last week, she wrote sweet things like "Love you forever" and "Light of my life" on my arm cast. I have to wait two more weeks until it's taken off. FML

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By andrew - 4/4/2018 06:00

Today, I broke a world record on third-wheeling with my friend and his girlfriend. As we were driving back from the beach, I took a nap and woke up to my friend receiving head in the front seat. They knew I was awake, but they continued and finished. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/4/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

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By .......... - 7/6/2015 09:46 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I found my boyfriend and his friends laughing hysterically and practically choking on popcorn. They were watching a video of me in a school play, trying to sing while sobbing because I'd just pissed my pants in front of 200 people. Thanks for giving him the video, mom. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/2/2017 19:00 - United States - Midland

Today, while BMXing I felt my chain break loose. I only looked down for a split second, and that's all it took for me to crash into a young scooter kid, breaking not only my own nose and elbow, but both his arms. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/4/2016 17:48 - United States - Portland

Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/12/2009 18:18 - United States

Today, I learned that my building never received my rent check. Now not only do I have to pay a $40 late fee, but also a $40 fee to stop the payment of the check that went god knows where. FML

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By bjevilcat2 - 18/10/2010 18:02 - United States

Today, my doctor confirmed that the extreme pain I've been experiencing is due to a kidney stone. My friend decided this was the time to tell me that passing a kidney stone is the male equivalent of child birth. Hello even more pain. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/10/2009 21:16 - United States

Today, completely excited, I told my mom about this guy from high school, that I had really liked and who had found me on Facebook. He said he regretted not asking me out in high school and offered to fly me out to visit him. Her response? "Has he seen what you look like now?" FML

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By alf - 27/10/2008 02:34 - France

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/6/2013 14:28 - United States

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/2/2012 21:13 - United States

Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML

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By BodyElectric - 26/7/2016 05:06

Today, I was checking my kitten's neutering stitches when he farted so hard that a stray piece of cat shit shot out and hit me in the eye. FML

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By dontgivemechecks - 16/3/2020 14:00

The customer is sometimes devious

Today, I found out that I accidentally returned a customer her $147 check she had written out to pay for her groceries and receive cash back. The lady got free groceries and money, and I'm now losing my job. FML

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By Ouch - 14/11/2018 05:00

Today, I tried to break up a fight between two of my coworkers. They decided to show their gratitude by smashing me in the face with a thick ceramic dish. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 01:23 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my husband told me he cheated on me two years ago with his ex-fiancée. In the process, he got her pregnant, but said it was okay, because she didn't keep it. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/12/2013 14:27 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my boss decided that a mug and a public 'thank you' were a sufficient substitute for a Christmas bonus. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/7/2018 01:30

Today, I was woken up by an overly sappy good morning text from my boyfriend, complete with kissy-face images. Before I could text him back, he sent a follow-up. "Oops. Wrong person." Wait, what? FML

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By FlorenceD - 12/8/2012 04:34 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was walking up some stairs and heard a noise as if someone was following me. The faster I went, the louder the noise got. I was too scared to realize that it was just my thighs causing my jeans to chafe. FML

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By ireallylikecats - 22/4/2015 13:31 - United States

Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/5/2020 23:00

Great boyfriend

Today, I'm 37 years-old and recently out of a job. As my boyfriend refuses to pay more than half the rent as long as I live here, I have no choice but to move back in with my mom, 8 hours away. My man is quite happy to pay the entire rent as soon as I'm gone. FML

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By nothingdoes - 27/10/2010 17:59 - United States

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

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By loser - 10/10/2009 20:45 - France

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

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Top comments

By Chvdl | 0

#201959 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:03

I would rent those...

By zulucharlie_fml | 0

#201971 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:05

Ummm, gay people would...? Or maybe people who stare at it for five minutes...?

COMMENTS

By Chvdl | 0

#201959 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:03

I would rent those...

Reply

VDG_fml | 0

#976114 - Thursday 8 April 2010 3:38

don't bash yaoi

Reply

pertained | 12

#980770 - Saturday 17 April 2010 4:49

Yaois are awesome. so are shonen-ai..

Reply

crazyrainbowstar | 0

#989768 - Sunday 9 May 2010 20:09

They really are. Like candy for your inner fangirl. X3

Reply

terranada | 3

#1396077 - Monday 13 September 2010 3:50

yaoi ftw!!!! xD

Reply

emmyers | 0

#1437946 - Wednesday 22 September 2010 1:52

yaoi is love ~<3
Don't lie OP you are a secret fan.

Reply

spaerro | 8

#2904730 - Saturday 16 July 2011 8:25

yaoi is fucking amazing. I would definitely get it.

Reply

Pixelduhst | 0

#3276837 - Monday 12 September 2011 12:06

Don't you dare trashtalk Yaoi. That shit is like cocaine.

Reply

Omgplz | 3

#3543861 - Saturday 5 November 2011 4:45

Yaoi... Is my world.

Reply

over9000skittles | 15

#5949760 - Monday 19 May 2014 5:34

Who wouldn't? :D

By airandfingers | 0

#201962 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:03

Lawl hentai in a library.

Reply

Asstonia | 1

#2464485 - Thursday 5 May 2011 20:39

it's not hentai idiot.
it's yaoi

Reply

Len_Kagamine | 8

#4861167 - Sunday 26 August 2012 4:41

Well it COULD be hentai.. you never know..

Reply

d4m4s74 | 12

#5523686 - Thursday 6 June 2013 18:56

Hentai is animated, so no, it can't be Hentai

By Sessee | 4

#201970 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:04

Don't feel bad, I would do that, too.
You should have just rented it :D

By zulucharlie_fml | 0

#201971 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:05

Ummm, gay people would...? Or maybe people who stare at it for five minutes...?

By aback | 4

#201976 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:06

Got good to ya, did it? :D

By Chvdl | 0

#201980 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:07

#4 and #5 Actually those manga are aimed at females (I know alot who read them and read them myself).

Reply

Sunny_Eclipse | 6

#2975784 - Tuesday 26 July 2011 0:31

It's true. I LOVE THEM!!

By elmangy | 0

#201991 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:09

someone was interested...

By lazorzpewpew | 0

#201998 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:09

#5: Yes there are, you speak the truth. However, I don't know anyone who would rent a straight hentai manga from a *library*. Plus, I'd question it's cleanliness... just saying ;)

OP: Lol, FYL.

By mangotreats | 2

#202005 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:10

the OP is saying that it's gross to rent something that someone else probably used to masturbate with. that's why he put the word rent in caps. i tend to agree; i'd just buy it.

By kristenlee | 3

#202009 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:11

You must protect the children from reading such trash! Check out the book and burn it, immediately.

Reply

littlemissgrace | 15

#3261078 - Friday 9 September 2011 7:13

Closed-minded bitch. Stfu