Today, while checking through the graphic novel section of my... - FML

By dwek - 15/5/2009 11:07 - United Kingdom

Today, while checking through the graphic novel section of my library, I noticed a gay manga porn comic. While I was wondering who in the world would ever RENT such an item, I realised I had been staring at it for a full five minutes and people were watching me. FML

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Body issues

Who's a good boy?

Compassion

By Anonymous - 15/8/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/7/2009 05:57 - United States

Today, my nose was really stuffed up and I was out of cold medicine. I heard spices may help with this kind of problem. Unfortunately I thought red pepper would be a great thing to snort at the time. Not only is my nose still stuffed up but I also have immense nasal pain. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/1/2014 22:21 - Canada - Surrey

Today, someone thought it would be funny to steal the precious stuffed bear I've had since childhood and leave a ransom note in its place. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/11/2010 02:32 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML

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By jonloran - 14/8/2015 09:08 - United States - Incline Village

Today, my friend and I were getting picked up by his dad after a carnival. As I put my stuff in the back of the car and shut the door to walk around to get in the other side, his dad drove off, thinking I was in the car, leaving me to walk up their hill. It was midnight and I ended up lost. FML

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By TCRII - 19/1/2019 16:00

Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML

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By Sally - 22/8/2011 00:17 - United States

Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML

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By anonymous - 18/7/2013 13:53 - United States - Woburn

Today, I overheard my ripped, handsome, genetically perfect brother telling my mom how "fat people" make him "nervous". I have only recently accepted my weight, after struggling for years. I now understand why my brother rarely talks to me. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/11/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

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By busted - 5/8/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I told my mum that the reason I hadn't contacted her for 3 days was that my internet was broken, when in reality I'd gone off for a dirty weekend with the guy I'm having sex with. I forgot my older sister worked for my internet provider. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/2/2016 01:07 - United States - Roxboro

Today, I accidentally dropped my birth control pill. My cat ate it before I could pick it up. FML

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By forever alone - 5/5/2019 04:00

Today, I was so desperate for someone to talk to I called various restaurants pretending to be interested in ordering food, just so I could have a conversation. I called eleven different places. FML

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By AgentOrion - 29/8/2014 04:16 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/3/2014 20:01 - United States - Denver

Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML

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By Kellye - 16/9/2009 00:24 - United States

Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML

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By shinymcface - 19/11/2018 14:00

Today, I went to the bathroom at work and there was a reed diffuser placed on the tank of the toilet. As I sat down, my hair knocked it off and the reed diffuser landed behind me, spilling the scented oil into my butt crack and vagina, burning me completely. I only had to work 6 more hours. FML

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By jcdc - 20/5/2012 15:03 - United States - Georgetown

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

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By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 07:37 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/5/2020 20:00

Feelin' sexy

Today, my wife, who NEVER wants to have sex, decided that now is the time. I, of course, had to take antibiotics that make me so bloated I can’t move without extreme pain. FML

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By Queasy - 24/1/2010 00:15 - Canada

Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/3/2012 06:40 - Australia - Saint Marys

Today, I overheard a girl and a guy sitting behind me on the bus who were talking about Skyrim, one of my favourite games. After a while, I turned around and, as a fellow gamer, thanked them for restoring my faith in humanity. They went very quiet. I'm now that weird guy on the bus. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/12/2013 02:45 - United States

Today, I was laying in the grass, staring into the blue sky and watching planes go by. My boyfriend snuggles down next to me; it was a sweet moment. He then told me all about how the planes above are leaving 'chem trails', and that he believes the CIA is out to mind-control us all. Right. FML

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By That idiot - 28/8/2014 02:33 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/7/2015 01:12 - United States

Today, while on a cruise that I paid for, I was forced to babysit my 5 bratty nieces while my sister and her deadbeat boyfriend relaxed in the kid free zone. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/6/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML

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By Widowmaker - 28/11/2012 18:09 - United States - Henderson

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/7/2014 16:54 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, a grown man yelled at me because he'd been waiting for 15 minutes and still hadn't been seated or had his order taken. We were at a self-serve breakfast buffet. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/10/2014 01:10 - United States - Dayton

Today, I never really thought that my boyfriend and brother having the same name was too weird. Until I called out his name during climax. FML

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By TheSickness - 28/5/2010 04:15 - United States

Today, the girl that I fancy was sick and I offered to hug her, but she protested saying that she didn't want to get me sick. I told her, "If hugging you gets me sick, then I'll just have to deal with being sick." She gave me the biggest hug she could. I haven't stopped puking since. FML

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By StairwayToEvan92 - 9/9/2019 22:00

Today, I ran over my third skunk in over 16 days. I should probably return my driver's license to the DMV. FML

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By golfstar11 - 11/12/2012 02:05 - United States - Savannah

Today, I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had put a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML

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By James - 1/4/2020 17:00

Gordon says you SUCK

Today, my sister was so bored during the lockdown that she let me attempt to cook an omelette without turning the stove on, just so she had something amusing to watch. FML

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By ktm1313 - 26/1/2016 21:38 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I donated blood for the first time. It wasn't until I passed out on the ice during hockey practice that I remembered the nurse warning me not to do any type of exercise. FML

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By unloved - 14/10/2010 22:10 - Australia

Today, it's my birthday, and the only person that called me was my boss. He wants me to cover his shift tonight. FML

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By Cantswim - 20/5/2009 15:45 - United States

Today, I had to go take swimming lessons because my mom has a fear I'll drown and I'm totally afraid of swimming anyway and never get anywhere near water. My instructor? A high school classmate of mine. My fellow swimming classmates? 5 and 6 year old kids. FML

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By Jamie - 10/3/2010 20:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped responding. Five minutes later and ready to hang up, he apologized because he got distracted with his game of Tetris. FML

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By 4yrldkicker - 29/7/2009 20:26 - United States

Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML

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By Madagascar - 19/12/2009 10:18 - Australia

Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML

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By Maggie - 10/12/2011 16:45 - Canada

Today, I got my first driving lesson from my dad. We traded seats, I started the car and his entire lesson was, "Go." FML

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By Anonymous - 30/1/2011 06:21 - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends: "Have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you tomorrow morning." His? FML

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Top comments

By Chvdl | 0

#201959 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:03

I would rent those...

By zulucharlie_fml | 0

#201971 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:05

Ummm, gay people would...? Or maybe people who stare at it for five minutes...?

Comments

By Chvdl | 0

#201959 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:03

I would rent those...

Reply

VDG_fml | 0

#976114 - Thursday 8 April 2010 3:38

don't bash yaoi

Reply

pertained | 12

#980770 - Saturday 17 April 2010 4:49

Yaois are awesome. so are shonen-ai..

Reply

crazyrainbowstar | 0

#989768 - Sunday 9 May 2010 20:09

They really are. Like candy for your inner fangirl. X3

Reply

terranada | 3

#1396077 - Monday 13 September 2010 3:50

yaoi ftw!!!! xD

Reply

emmyers | 0

#1437946 - Wednesday 22 September 2010 1:52

yaoi is love ~<3
Don't lie OP you are a secret fan.

Reply

spaerro | 8

#2904730 - Saturday 16 July 2011 8:25

yaoi is fucking amazing. I would definitely get it.

Reply

Pixelduhst | 0

#3276837 - Monday 12 September 2011 12:06

Don't you dare trashtalk Yaoi. That shit is like cocaine.

Reply

Omgplz | 3

#3543861 - Saturday 5 November 2011 4:45

Yaoi... Is my world.

Reply

over9000skittles | 15

#5949760 - Monday 19 May 2014 5:34

Who wouldn't? :D

By airandfingers | 0

#201962 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:03

Lawl hentai in a library.

Reply

Asstonia | 1

#2464485 - Thursday 5 May 2011 20:39

it's not hentai idiot.
it's yaoi

Reply

Len_Kagamine | 8

#4861167 - Sunday 26 August 2012 4:41

Well it COULD be hentai.. you never know..

Reply

d4m4s74 | 12

#5523686 - Thursday 6 June 2013 18:56

Hentai is animated, so no, it can't be Hentai

By Sessee | 4

#201970 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:04

Don't feel bad, I would do that, too.
You should have just rented it :D

By zulucharlie_fml | 0

#201971 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:05

Ummm, gay people would...? Or maybe people who stare at it for five minutes...?

By aback | 4

#201976 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:06

Got good to ya, did it? :D

By Chvdl | 0

#201980 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:07

#4 and #5 Actually those manga are aimed at females (I know alot who read them and read them myself).

Reply

Sunny_Eclipse | 6

#2975784 - Tuesday 26 July 2011 0:31

It's true. I LOVE THEM!!

By elmangy | 0

#201991 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:09

someone was interested...

By lazorzpewpew | 0

#201998 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:09

#5: Yes there are, you speak the truth. However, I don't know anyone who would rent a straight hentai manga from a *library*. Plus, I'd question it's cleanliness... just saying ;)

OP: Lol, FYL.

By mangotreats | 2

#202005 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:10

the OP is saying that it's gross to rent something that someone else probably used to masturbate with. that's why he put the word rent in caps. i tend to agree; i'd just buy it.

By kristenlee | 3

#202009 - Friday 15 May 2009 20:11

You must protect the children from reading such trash! Check out the book and burn it, immediately.

Reply

littlemissgrace | 15

#3261078 - Friday 9 September 2011 7:13

Closed-minded bitch. Stfu