1st! Yes!

Do you honestly know how overrated that is?

Bitch

Did you just have an orgasm?

Nah, I was just excited to be the 1st one to comment on an FML for the 1st time. :)

Gosh, you guys don't have to be suck jerks about it. :(

#8 - No, I believe she just had what should be coined a "firstgasm".

You're new here, so let me fill you in on something; nobody here likes the person that screams "first!!!!1!1!". It makes them look like an idiot with nothing better to do with their life. The comments section is for commenting about the FML, not little pats on the back for meaningless accomplishments. Just so you know for next time.

28- I like your term. It needs to be used from now on lol. Also, no excuses for being a douche who yells first.

17- I just had my very first first comment on the post about the car being stolen four hours after someone bought it. I was freaking excited, too. But I still made a relevant comment. (:

The reason everybody is being mean is because it's a waste of a comment

56- I don't know, but it sounds really dirty! Perhaps a new technique I could use??

Lol

I take out Sirin. Sirin uses Comment Deletion. Comment Deletion is supper effective.

You guys don't have to be complete assholes about it! She didn't know that people are total jerks when someone does that! You could obviously tell that she's new, so you could have told her politely! And yelling "Yay! 1st!" or whatever DOES NOT make you look like an idiot! Yelling "Oh did you have an orgasm!" or "Firstgasm!'' does make you an idiot, an immature idiot! I know that I'm going to get thumbed down, but it's only because you know I'm right. You guys were being dicks and now you don't want to admit it, I understand! But please GROW UP and be nice!

Still makes her look like an absolute Tool Shed McGee though.

You will also experience your first moderation. Another exciting accomplishment!

Thanks for sticking up for me. In some of the past ones people were always writing "first" and stuff. I thought it was like a contest to see who commented first.

StrangeDuckling and HelloChrissy please refrain yourselves from being morons on the FML Planet! Thanks!

#90 - Machine was being nice about it. Oh and being jerks how? She contributed absolutely nothing to the community. Saying "first" is immature and rather annoying. I'm sure about every commenter agrees. StrangeDuckling, I've also noticed a lot of your comments are quite bad, argumentative and you seem up your own ass. So please do tell how everyone and I are immature, dicks, jerks and and idiots .

^Disregard that extra *and*

98 - It is a contest; you have won! Message me your name, address, and Social security so I can send you the prize. :) congrats!!!11oneone

100, and 102, And exactly how is dogging someone out for being first being smart and contributing to the "FML Community"? When I bitch, I don't usually bitch at PEOPLE, except for on this, because well, if you can I can. Also, I bitch about ethics and about the stupid things people do... So... Thanks! ^_^ P.S.: I also thought Machine was kind of nice too

Now first of all little missy I did not say it was smart to "dog" someone out. However if does contribute as it makes an example of her. Other commenters who want to tell everyone they're "first" will reframe to do so, as they know thumbs down and nice or harsh replies will follow. Now there is nothing left to discuss. Shows over folks.

No need to be assholes about it. You all see someone say something, whether it was stupid or not, and you take the opportunity for a little joke just because you THINK it would be funny to make jokes about another person who obviously had no intentions of being annoying. If anyone is being a moron on the "FML planet" it's all of you! I think it's time for you guys to get a life.

Thank you Isaiaah! Sorry guys if I sounded ignorant!

27- nearly everyone on FML is like this... Your better off just ignoring them. They think there opinion is the only right one so just leave them to it. :)

50- is there a limit on the amount of comments?

Yes

#90 and #98 - Yelling “Yay, 1st!“ is an incredibly immature thing to do here. What are you, a toddler? It‘s obviously not some childish contest, this is the internet; obviously you will get pounced on. And I don‘t know where in God‘s name you saw us “yell“ anything; we made sarcastic statements, as is expected on FML. I really don‘t see how that qualifies to label us as jerks. Please grow up and realise that none of us are children here. There‘s a difference between being a genuine asshole, and just insulting others because you‘re inevitably butt-hurt. And judging from your argument capabilities, heaven forbid you‘re planning to become a legal practitioner.

I wonder what went through her mind when she sees a guy start walking up to her with a sex positions book...0.o

Her smiling was OP's cue to smile back, wink, and pull a condom out of his pocket.

19- I wish I could thumb your comment up more than once.

She didn't smile? O.o

Girl: Stop, don't touch me there! This is my private square! R-A-P-E, don't do it!!!!!

58-Just. Just no.

You said that COMPLETELY wrong!!! It goes: "No, No, Don't touch me there! These are my No-No Squares!! R-A-P-E! Get your hands away from me!!"

I'm new lol what exactly is OP? :)

Original poster.

Optimus Prime

Offending party

Oreos Please

Outstanding Penis

Overactive Pterodactyl

Old People. It's old people

Obese politician

Overdosed Penguin

Optimus Prime is still the best

Overrated Platypus

Original Poster, lol

153 you must be new too. It's what 106 said, Optimus Prime.

Odious pudding

He smiled, not her.

Well it's simple, OP stands fo- C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER. Well. Fuck.

Lol everyone who posted something false got thumbed up, but the person who posted the real meaning got thumbed down. Funny how it works

You deserve it for not looking at the cover. Rookie mistake.

No he deserves it for not using the mistake to his advantage

84- to his advantage? What the hell should he have done, chase her down and rape her?

At least he could rape her in a new position.

Good lord... 101, your picture makes the comment hilarious. Win, sir - such a fantastic win.

Just think of all those possibilities! And i'd maybe stick to the coffee shop for a while.

Why didn't you look at the cover first? How can you expect to have a conversation with her if you didn't even know what book you were going to tall about?

Talk

I agree, 9. How could he expect to do that when he was "short" on information?

What was a sex positions book doing in a library!?! There are children around.

OP was in a bookstore not a library. And even then that's why the children section is separate from the other books.

Its a library they do carry more then one book , and that is why they have sections in libraries so that the kids get books from the kid section.

There are plenty of kids books, not just one book. Stop trying to exaggerate to make a point. That had to be the stupidest comment on FML.

It was a bookshop, or as I would call it, a bookstore!!! In any event, I'm pretty sure they have all types of book in both places. Couples may want to spice up their sex lives. Who are you to judge.

adult section.

-67 if you would have taken more than 3 seconds to read her comment, you would have realized that, in fact, your comment is probably the stupidest one on FML.

At least she noticed you and smiled. Means she was probably interested in you.

Try rereading the fml. Op pointed to the book and smiled, then the pretty girl got up and left.

Oh sorry. Read too fast. Now I feel like an idiot.

I did the same thing, I thought she pointed and smiled, not him.

Well, maybe you should read it for future reference. Might as well come up with something from this experience.

Would you do that if a random guy came up to you in the library pointing at the sex position book in his hand?

She's saying OP should read it. Not the pretty girl.

Learn the Secrets of the Secret Black Book that no children's eyes should see?

kinky