Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. While I was at their house I got a tummy ache, then had loud explosive diarrhea. Twice. They definitely heard it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
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Top comments
rawrface22 10
You can't control some things..
Iamnotmyself 17
Must have smelled like the ass gas of Satan
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Comments (220)
babygirlc1 5
Can you not spray or light a match?
HomeAl0ne 20
From her description, lighting a match might have been unwise. It's one thing to make a toilet unusable for 15 or 20 minutes, destroying an entire house with a methane explosion is quite another.
babygirlc1 5
Lol yeah right like that would happen.
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
Pretend someone else went in after you did bur before his father did? Unless it is only his father and him there... then your ******.. Or not, if you catch my drift(winks and nudges your shoulder)
DerangedKitten 6
Better out than in.
mama8809 0
Lmfao
hyden121 2
Haha. Did he take the rap for you?
juston_p 1
I love you. Lol
coyfish 0
My motto is "let it out"
epiclife101 0
Try flushing and air freshnere
kyliebear 15
Don't worry, you couldn't control your needs.
Glockinator 2
My boyfriend high fives me when I fart or take a poo. God love him for that.