Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. While I was at their house I got a tummy ache, then had loud explosive diarrhea. Twice. They definitely heard it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
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Top comments
rawrface22 10
You can't control some things..
Iamnotmyself 17
Must have smelled like the ass gas of Satan
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Comments (220)
Souners 3
You should have stood up and proudly stated, "That was me!"
Itstherealjen 0
Welcome to the family :)))))
SayHiToChucky 0
She "can't win this fight".
WhatBearIsBest 0
I was literally listening to Danger Line when I read this
SayHiToChucky 0
That's shocking... but not like a bullet hole.
alexiiiiis09 0
Man dontcha just hate when that happens and then all you can do is sit there and blush and try not to bring it up. Or you can Blane it on the dog...
alexiiiiis09 0
*blame
Killerturtle 11
How can you blame it on the dog? Please explain.
AmethystRain 20
You mean you haven't taught your dog how to use the toilet? What kind of a pet owner are you??
TheCylonmaster 3
Oh yeah, like a dog brings a newspaper into the bathroom to blow chunks and wipes his wormy ass with toilet paper. (sarcasm, since some Fucktards can't tell the difference)
mannykinz 9
Classic. Be proud of your creation.
yankfan89 27
Better to have the bathroom smell than you ******** in your pants
LittleRRed 5
That happened to me too
ftw487 9
Thats a shitty situation lol
GraceKathryn97 0
Haha! Corny but funny!
SorrowFull 8
You know the miners used to use parakeets to gauge unsafe gas levels in the mines. Today that would be considered cruelty to animals, thus the invention of products such as febreeze to kill odors.
guckylynn 19
Those two things are in no way related...
SorrowFull 8
No, but it was funny. I for one would politely ask if the bathroom had an air freshener spray located inside. It may sound crude but it is better than letting someone else take the blame for a smell they didn't emit.
cooxoxo 9
Embarrassing..... I wonder what your bf's reaction was :)
Clozzie 0
" Hi hun, how was your day? Did your boyfriend prepose?" "No, and i took a big shit" "GOD DAMMIT THAT WAS YOU?!"
dualyte 0
you are an idiot