Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. While I was at their house I got a tummy ache, then had loud explosive diarrhea. Twice. They definitely heard it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
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Top comments
rawrface22 10
You can't control some things..
Iamnotmyself 17
Must have smelled like the ass gas of Satan
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Comments (220)
ohyeahbaby 5
You forgot to flush the toilet, didn't you?
dallas_louise 0
Dayum. Ain't nobody go in the bathroom for 35, 45 minutes. And spray some sir freshener.
KrypticPanda 0
P
bylliam 0
Wait. Girls poop?
theblackzach 0
Hahaha that's great :)
kylemcentee 0
The way you talk is disgusting. Thats why you deserved it.
_Allstar_ 2
It might be smart just to hold it or just go home to do that. Thats just a suggestion. Anyways.... thats soo weird and ackward because if he knows he didnt do it he probably knows it was you.
blueExcess 0
1 word ... Match
jogo352 2
(If you're a girl) he called you son?
scotch 4
He was referring to thinking it was the son, thus making it embarrassing for the girl.
scotch 4
I like women that can admit to taking explosive *****.