Today I bought a new cage, along with some toys, for my bird. I came home to find my bird had escaped its old cage. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a new cat for my birthday. It ate my bird right when we got home, then it ran away. FML
Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML
Today, I came home to find that my sweet kitten had gotten out and dragged a bird inside, where he ripped it to shreds. I found the bird's head in my underwear drawer. FML
Today, I found a bird that had fallen from its nest, so I made a new nest for it in a shoebox and put it as close to the old one as possible. When I checked back on it later, all I found was a chewed-up corpse. FML
Today, I was woken up by a bird screaming its guts out. My cat had somehow managed to catch a bird and bring it inside. My 9 a.m. morning began with trying to catch a bird in my own home. FML
Today, I spent twenty minutes trying to shoo a bird out of my apartment. After finally getting it outside, I closed the window, turned around, and realized I'd locked myself out instead. The bird flew away. I didn't. FML
Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, I was sick in bed with a nasty flu. It was also the day my bird was eaten by an animal that had silently burrowed into the cage while I was recovering. FML
Today, it was my first day closing alone at a pet store when a lady came in wanting to return a bird she bought months ago. Once I informed her there were no returns on livestock, she let the bird free and ran out the door, leaving me to catch it and explain to my manager where it came from. FML
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Top comments
mfranks19891989 10
I guess he didn’t like his old cage. Hopefully you find him in the house/apt.
colombia_mami 9
Escape as in lost or is it good that you got a new cage?
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Comments (4)
mfranks19891989 10
I guess he didn’t like his old cage. Hopefully you find him in the house/apt.
colombia_mami 9
Escape as in lost or is it good that you got a new cage?
chris_lillo 15
As in lost forever
jbuckets_404 39
Hope you kept the receipt!