Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks 52 898
You deserved it 7 893

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Febreeze man, it saves you.

Cardinal rule of dating: never take a dump at their house the first time you're there.

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I am the first one here!

Febreeze man, it saves you.

that or the new poo pourri hahaha!

Then it could smell like shitrus! Haha

Don't you mean crapple?

"Her name's Krabappel? All this time i've been calling her crabapple..." - Homer Simpson.

*beeping noise* WHAT THE F**K!!! *boom*

next time just leave a note: "Crapfully yours, The Claw aw holy CRAP!"

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Once I found a turd in the public toilet that was so big that it made me wonder if the reason they didn't flush was because it left the owner paralyzed. So ya, no ones gonna look at your shit and think, "Wow that's amazing! I aspire to one day have a shit like this one!" No pride. Just pity.

I could've went my whole life without knowing this and I would've been okay.

Once? I do that everyday.

\ 28

#4 - It just means you eat a lot/have a shitty diet. That's nothing to be proud of, holmes

#50 Have you seen Men In Black 3? Agent K. Almost forgot to leave a tip which would've blown up the Earth. Maybe you would've been eaten by a turtle if you didn't know this. You never know.

Should've used air freshener

except their probably wasn't any although it doesn't say the Op was probably at the in-laws house

And if the family doesn't have any, then what?

Cardinal rule of dating: never take a dump at their house the first time you're there.

it's not like the fact that you poop is something to be kept secret

@7 No, but it may help save some embarrassment as it seems op experienced on this date.

I don't know if it's just me, but pooping is not a choice. I don't think she purposely went to her boyfriend's parents house with a plan to take a shit.

Maybe I'm different but for some reason (unless I get struck by food poisoning) I'm able to hold my shit surprisingly for serval hours. I can't remember the last time I used a public restroom to do the deed. It's always been done privately in my own home. Granted sometimes I did rush home because my booty wanted to play-- turtle poking its head out!

@ 26, she should have "prepared" herself before going out though.

"Prepared?" By what? Using an enema? If I can't go, then I can't go. And I'll hold it as long as I can when I'm not home, but if I really have to go, then there's no stopping it. Everyone poops, and I feel like others shouldn't make a big deal out of it, even if it's horrific smelling. It must have been awfully embarrassing to have the dad yell that out like that!

Next time shit at home??

Or at least double flush!! God doesn't everyone know to do this? As soon as the monster is unleashed flush. Then again after wiping. Cuts back on a lot of released stink!

although if you double-flush and someone hears it flushing, they would probably assume you clogged the toilet. :b at least that's what I would think.

I poop before showering before a date. saves you a lot of trouble.

well sometimes its uncontrollable

What if you don't have to at all before the date, then later on it just hits you?

I once read a book, "Everybody Poops." It taught me to love myself and my fellow earthlings for we all have this in common. You should give it a read, and not be ashamed of your foul excretion.

What are you talking about? I've never pooped before...should I see a doctor?

#33 I think you're full of shit.

"Everyone eats so.... Everyone poops!"

So as I am reading this FMl there is a kid in the stall next to me screaming "I can't" followed by groans and crying and I no longer feel comfortable enough to finish my poop! But yea if your letting out something that bad you should've even asked for air freshener as a heads up to everyone else! May be embarrassing, but probably leaves a better impression than the actual situation.

What the fuck??? Are they summoning the devil in there? Holy......

I hope they are okay and not trying to hurt themselves or being blackmailed on their phone or something.

There's no shame in the toilet game. If ever asked, just admit to the dispersion of foul waste and keep your head high. If someone walked in after one of my dueces with that reaction, I'd likely chuckle and claim it (maybe apologize if the reaction wasn't exaggerated). I hope you enjoyed dinner.