By heyhijello - 09/09/2013 22:05 - United States - Oakland

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 007
You deserved it 12 690

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I don't even have a smartass comment to make. I genuinely sympathize for your misfortune.....

I get that OP was embarrassed, but wouldn't telling the bf have been a better option?

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I'm so sorry!

OP, I'm sorry too about your mental instability... I mean seriously, what the fuck. If it wouldn't flush you leave it in. it's better stuck in the toilet than in a bush wrapped in toilet paper. Sorry OP, you deserve every bit of it.

Oh look, a floater!

#24 agreed, who the fuck picks up poop with bare hands then wraps it in toilet paper, like seriously leave it in the toilet

I don't know what you were thinking when you decided picking it up and wrapping it up in TP was a good idea, but thank you. I've never literally lol so hard before...the ppl sitting at the tables next to me think I'm insane.

That must of been awkward

Gotta do what you gotta do

No, I think he was proud of it

*must have. Learn proper grammar for once. "of" is a preposition, not a verb or adverb

Am I the only one that thinks it would've been better to just ask for a plunger? I mean, who does that?? Also, that toilet paper must be really durable.

102 - why ask for a plunger? They're for unclogging stuff, not for forcing when the toilet doesn't flush. Better option is to get a bucket of water and tip it into the bowl. Simulates flushing action, and off stuff goes.

Grammar Nazi

Great, so now your bf's brother gets to someday in the future find your toilet paper wrapped-shit in his bushes.

Awwwh, bless ya x

Are you related to poop-in-the-shower guy?

Or poop-in-the-fitting-room by chance?

Diarrhea in the elevator?

The neighbour should learn to mind his business while you're doing your business.

I don't even have a smartass comment to make. I genuinely sympathize for your misfortune.....

Why? It's incredibly rude and disgusting to leave shit in a toilet without flushing. What do they deserve this for, having to do a natural body function?

To clarify, there might have been better ways to solve this issue, but I wouldn't say that OP deserved it. Maybe she/he has anxiety issues or something. We need more information, honestly.

She deserves it because she went through the most retarded way to solve this issue. He is her bf he might tease her a bit but that'd be it everyone has to shit eventually.

It was most likely that the chain was detached in the back of the toilet. She probably could have easily lifted the lid off the back of the toilet and lifted the plug that the chain is attached to. Or you know, told the brother that the toilet wouldn't flush. As embarrassing as that may have been for her to do, it's still better than touching your own feces. What if the brother sees that in the bushes? I can almost guarantee that the brother will think weirder thoughts about her and the fact that she threw her feces into his bush, than he would if she'd just asked for help.

"Who the hell tried to mummify their turds and hide them in these bushes?" **pauses to think** "That dirty bitch!"

Or dumping a bucket of water into the toilet will force it to flush. That works quite well.

I get that OP was embarrassed, but wouldn't telling the bf have been a better option?

There are many more options better than taking your own poop out and throwing it in a bush.

I would never even have thought about taking my poo out of the toilet, much less bring it outside! Just tell the guy his toilet is broken and apologize for the stink the poo sitting there will make until the toilet is fixed.

Yeah, it's not like it's a secret she shits. And if her boyfriend or her brother don't realize that, she can direct them to an enlightening pierce of literature known as, "Everybody Poops."

I prefer the catholic version, "you're a horrible little child and that's concentrated evil coming out of your backside"

Wow that is where hepatitis starts, and why would you fish out your own turd? I would have gone to him right after and said that some one left a nice surprise in the loo when you arrived!

There's some people who eat it.....so at least OP didn't eat it?

Too bad they didn't have a plunger....shit would've been much easier to handle

A plunger wouldn't be necessary if the toilet doesn't flush. It could have been the handle of the toilet.

Or could have been that the shit was stuck, therefore would need a plunger. Doesn't say exactly why it wouldn't flush so I cracked a joke...geez

Calm yourself, she wasn't attacking you.

Who said she was? I didn't...