Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I'm scared to leave my bedroom. During the night, what must have been a giant spider made a web 4 feet wide stretching from the lightbulb to the tv and then down to the desk corner. It's blocking my path to the door and I can't tell where the 8-legged bastard is hiding. FML
Today, while I was working from home on my laptop and had my feet up on the coffee table, I felt something on my foot. I looked down to see a spider the size of a quarter on top of my bare foot. It started doing something so I froze, hoping it wouldn't bite me. Instead, it anchored the start of its web to my skin. FML
Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML
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Top comments
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Oh shit! This is giving me the ******* shudders....
downtime 13
You opened your eyes before you counted to 20 AND you can't even find him? I wouldn't be surprised if he just left, you're the worst hide and seek player ever.
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Comments (228)
luckylove869 7
Omg , I would have cried ! D:
itsme1321 3
Hmm...that sounds more like a spider cricket...
whitecloud197 0
holy crap OP that sucks lol
alexlovescandy 3
OMG! this is my worst nightmare I feel so sorry for you!
AngrySunflakes 6
Spricket.
suri23 11
Not sure spiders hop-if so, what the hell was it?
erinchick1 7
Probably a jumping spider their fast little suckers!
justhanging 6
Given the size the poster is claiming, probably a camel cricket (although they aren't THAT big) -- looks like a cross between a grasshopper and a spider.
PlaidPanda 9
Spiders can hop, if you've never seen a jumping spider consider yourself lucky.
tencentsakiss 19
In Maryland, the biggest jumping spiders we have are only like half an inch long, if that. We definitely don't have camel spiders. I vote that it was a spider cricket. They look like spiders, can have very long legs, hop, and love damp houses.
tencentsakiss 19
Oops sorry 115, spider crickets and camel crickets are the same thing. They're also called cave crickets and sprickets.
tencentsakiss 19
I read camel spider at first, sorry.
SamanthaCassieL 10
I think it's time to call an exterminator.
erinchick1 7
Gah! I hate spiders!
day624 14
Chills
Fasterkill 6
Okay 51, we get it. You're a special snowflake because spiders don't have the same pants-shittingly scary effect on you that it does on practically everyone else. Please stop commenting now.