Today, I'm scared to leave my bedroom. During the night, what must have been a giant spider made a web 4 feet wide stretching from the lightbulb to the tv and then down to the desk corner. It's blocking my path to the door and I can't tell where the 8-legged bastard is hiding. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML
Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML
Today, while I was working from home on my laptop and had my feet up on the coffee table, I felt something on my foot. I looked down to see a spider the size of a quarter on top of my bare foot. It started doing something so I froze, hoping it wouldn't bite me. Instead, it anchored the start of its web to my skin. FML
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Top comments
sourgirl101 28
He’s trying to communicate to you through his World Wide Web.
corrupteddevil 12
The spiders inside my house aren't very likely to catch a damn thing. They are also potentially venomous, some of which can really make a person really sick. If I want to smash the little eight legged bastards that trespass, I'm going to do just that. How about you take some time to worry about an actually important bug. The north American bumblebee is now endangered. Y'know, the non-stinging, pollinating little balls of buzzing fluff? Yeah, we should all be more worried about this.
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Comments (24)
Nicoleu 17
It is time to move
iChompYa 18
time to burn the whole house
sourgirl101 28
He’s trying to communicate to you through his World Wide Web.
MyS3lf 24
He isn't after you, he's after the other actual pests in your house. Just brush down the web and go on about your day. Geez. Spiders eat mosquitos (and other actual pests), which distribute several deadly diseases which account for more deaths every year than any other cause, and y'all are scared of the arachnids that eat the actual threat. For that reason alone, FYL.
corrupteddevil 12
The spiders inside my house aren't very likely to catch a damn thing. They are also potentially venomous, some of which can really make a person really sick. If I want to smash the little eight legged bastards that trespass, I'm going to do just that. How about you take some time to worry about an actually important bug. The north American bumblebee is now endangered. Y'know, the non-stinging, pollinating little balls of buzzing fluff? Yeah, we should all be more worried about this.
Glowworm56 26
Coming soon to a theater near you--8-Legged Bastard. He wants you in his web!
Notamusedanymore 17
Burn. everything.
RichardPencil 30
The web worked!! He’s trapped the world record biggest fly in spider history. After you die of thirst in a few days, that spider will be able to feed himself and many generations of 8-legged bastards. With this score, he’s the GOAT of arachnids.
bobsanction 18
RIP you.
LadyRen 20
Time to burn down the house
poeserpursche 11
You sure it was a spider and not your ONS, Peter Parker, having his "happy end"?